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amandap4646

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Posts: 16
 #1 
Dear Molly

It has been 1 month since that terrible day when I had to say my final goodbye to you. I cannot believe that it happened so quickly. I know that you were old (14yrs & 5 months) but I somehow believed that you would live by my side forever.

You were such a special friend and I love you with all my heart. You were the most important thing in my life and I didn't want to ever let you go.

It was clear in those last few days that something was wrong (coughing & vomiting) and I tried so hard to figure out what was going on. We visited the vets, kennel cough they said. 3 times in 5 days we made that same trip to the vets and I know that some people thought that I was over reacting (you were still eating and drinking fine but were lethargic) but I knew, I knew that there was more too it and we had to get you fixed.  

I will never ever forget the moment I got the phone call. The X-rays showed that you had mega esophagus (explains the vomiting & big appetite) and also a large mass in your chest. They explained that you struggled with the sedation/xrays and that the prognosis was not good. The procedures to fix you were highly invasive. I didn't want to loose you, you were my life, how would I survive without you? but I could not allow you to suffer any more. I rushed straight to the vets and I was by your side, stroking you and talking to you while you passed. I always promised that I would be there for you in the end and I want to thank you for holding on so I could be by your side. You didn't like it when I was upset, so I fought back the tears and stayed really calm for you - I still wonder how I managed that. Please don't think that I didn't care, I was heartbroken and my life was ripped apart. I love you so so much and as I said my last goodbye, I walked out of that door I broke down uncontrollably - I would never see you or cuddle you again.

You were such a good dog, you were loyal, loving, funny, sweet natured and so eager to make me happy. I was so lucky to have you in my life and I want to thank you for always being by my side. We had so many happy times together and I have started to write a journal so that I can always remember them.

You loved your walks, we used to walk for hours in the countryside and you would just run around sniffing everything. Sometimes I think you thought that you were still a young puppy because you would dive around I was sure that you would hurt yourself. You started to suffer with arthritis in the last 3 years, but this didn't stop you. You still wanted to go walking and running, yes you slowed down a bit and I tried my best to make sure that you were not in pain but going for walks was your life.

Bedtime was another favorite, when it got close to the normal time you would pace around let me know it was time for bed. I soon as I stood up you would pick up your baby (stuffed toy) and try to get up the stairs before me, you didn't sleep in my bed but you would lay down by my side.

The of course there was the treats, like clockwork you would let me know it was 7pm and time for your biscuit. I will never know how you were so good at knowing the time.

I don't know where you are now but I hope that you are happy and pain free. Please don't ever forget that I love you so much and I will never ever forget you. Nothing will ever take your place in my heart. 

I miss you so much my precious baby.

R.I.P Molly Dolly xx

cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 322
 #2 
What an to Honor Molly.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
stronics

Registered:
Posts: 33
 #3 
What a beautiful letter to a loved one. You were very special to Molly too.
David
amandap4646

Registered:
Posts: 16
 #4 
Dear Molly

It is 3 months today since we had our last cuddle and it still only seems like yesterday. I miss you so much and the pain inside is still unbearable.

We had such a special bond and you were always there for me. I hope that you know that I did everything in my power to protect you give you the best possible life.

Our home is so empty without you and even now I sometimes expect to open the door and see you waiting patiently for me. It is heartbreaking when it dawns on me that your not coming back.

Springtime is nearly upon us and you used to love spending your time outside in the garden. It is very bittersweet knowing that your not here to see it with me. I hope that where ever you are now it is a much better place and you can run around pain free.

I am so proud of you for being such a loyal, loving, patient and gentle friend. I know in the end that you tried so hard to hold on for my sake but your little body was struggling so much. I made the horrible decision let you go out of pure love, I could not allow you to suffer any longer. 

I love you so much Molly and always will. Please remember that I will never ever forget you and nothing will ever take your place in my heart.

R.I.P Molly xx
Lloydsmum

Registered:
Posts: 15
 #5 
what a beautiful letter and I know she will be watching over you still and with you. xxx The hurt is unbearable I know xxx
amandap4646

Registered:
Posts: 16
 #6 
Dear Molly

It is just over 4 months weeks since we had to say goodbye. Not a day goes by when I don't think about you and wish that you were still with me. The constant tears have stopped but the sadness and emptiness is still there and sometimes the reality is so overwhelming that I still breakdown and cry.

The spring is here now and I know that you would have loved spending time playing outside and protecting your garden. We mowed the lawn for the first time this year you used to always love rolling around in the newly cut grass. It was heartbreaking that you were not here with us. 

I was so lucky to have you in my life and I would not change a thing. I know you loved me as much as I loved you and our bond was unbreakable. You made such a big impact on my life and I will be forever grateful for that.

I will miss you always Molly and nothing will ever take your place in my heart.

R.I.P my precious baby xxx 



 
amandap4646

Registered:
Posts: 16
 #7 
My precious baby, can you believe it is 5 months since we said goodbye. Not a single day has gone by when I haven't thought about you, I miss you so much Molly.

I woke this morning to tears as my thoughts wandered back to those last few days. I still feel that I should have done more, but I did the best I could with the information I had available to me. You were so brave and strong Molly, I know you wanted to stay with me and you would have fought so hard to be able to do so. I could not let you suffer any more so had to be stronger and make the decision to let you go. That was the day my life changed forever and it will never be the same again.

2 of your friends we used to see out on our walks have also passed this year, I wonder if you are all playing together and watching over us. We still have the wild bunny in the garden, I think he believes it is his territory now, but I know it still belongs to you.

I hope you are ok Molly and pain free. I hope so much that one day we will be together again.

I love and miss you so much and you will forever be in my heart and thoughts.

RIP Molly Dolly xxxxx
amandap4646

Registered:
Posts: 16
 #8 
Dear Molly,

Today is so hard - 6 months ago today I had to let you go and I miss you so much. Those last few hours
have been playing over and over in my head and I still wonder if I could have done more to keep you with me.

Something strange happened this morning, I said goodbye to you as I was leaving the house for work and at that same moment a bird hopped onto our window sill and looked straight at me through the window - was that you letting me know that you are ok? I would love to believe that it was and that you are still around.

I miss taking you on long walks and playing with you in the garden. The house is so quiet now we never hear your paws tapping on the floor as you followed me everywhere or you wandering around at night making lots of noise. How you used to bark at the other dogs when they passed by the garden and how you used to greet me at the door when I came home. You were such a good friend and I am so proud of you for being so brave in those last days, you were so much braver than I was. 

I considered getting a new puppy to bring some life back into the house but deep down I know that I don't really want one. I don't think that I will ever love another dog like I loved you so it just will not be fair on them.

You were my whole life and now there is just a big empty space. You are always in my heart and thoughts though and that will never ever change.

You were my special precious baby and I will always love you so so much.

I really do hope that we you are running around somewhere having lots of fun and one day we will meet again.

R.I.P Molly Dolly xxxx 
amandap4646

Registered:
Posts: 16
 #9 
My precious Molly,

Happy birthday! you would have been 15 today and we would have celebrated as always with a special treat. This year I will have to celebrate without you but you will always be there in my heart.
 
It is so hard without you and I miss you so so much. The summer is beautiful this year and you would have loved spending all the time outdoors and running in the countryside on our daily walks.

I hope we meet again one day but until then I hope you are having lots of fun playing with your friends without any pain.

I love you so much my precious baby.

Love Mammy xxx
DearMiss

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #10 
To amandap4646, that was the sweetest letter I have read, I cried. The story and how you feel is very similar to mine. Thank you for sharing, I now will write a letter to my Missy who passed a few weeks ago. 
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