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jakeyboy

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Posts: 14
 #1 
Jakey,

it's only been a few days since you passed, and one thing I want to say is that I'm so sorry I couldn't be there during your final days. It's something I'm always going to hate myself for.

What I wouldn't give to have you back, scraping at my blanket on these freezing cold nights until I let you under or play fighting with Chan. I was always told cats and dogs can't get on, but you and Chan were the best of friends and he misses you too, I know he does.

I'm so sorry neither I nor the vets could do any more for you in the end, but you're in a better place now. No pain, no suffering, and certainly no annoying dogs to steal your food. I have caught Chan staring at the empty space next to his bowl where yours used to be, probably wondering why there's no cat food to steal.

I hope that vet followed through on her promise to give you a big kiss and a cuddle before you went. I know it wouldn't have been the same as me being there, but do know that I love you with all my heart, since the day we found you in that cardboard box, til the day I die. I'll never forget you, Jakey boy
jakeyboy

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #2 
Hey Jakey boy,

today marks exactly a week since I saw you for the last time. I'm sorry you had to spend your last few days in the vets, but I know they made you as comfortable as possible while they ran their tests. It was the best place for you to be, as much as I hate to admit it. Alas, I try not to think about that, rather the night before when you plonked yourself down in my lap to watch whatever I was doing on the laptop. I put on a video for you, remember? The one with all the mice and the squirrels.

I knew there was something wrong with you, Jakey, when you simply let me put you in your carrier the next morning without a fight. Very much unlike that one time you fought tooth and nail to stay away from that thing. We were running so late because of that, we had to reschedule the appointment.

There are so many things that don't feel right without you. Simply waking up has been a bit of task recently, waking up without the sound of you trying to open my bedroom door so you can come in and annoy me until I get up. I find that it's the smallest things that set me off into a blubbering mess. The red chair in my room that you loved to use as your scratching post, watching the TV without having you curled up on my stomach. Those little things that make me bawl like a baby.

We put the Christmas tree up when you were still here at home, but I know you were too ill to care. It's weird not having you try to climb up it and knock the baubles off. There's still a gift for you under the tree from a couple of weeks ago, I'll open it for you on Christmas day. I hope you get all the gifts you want this year, Jakey.

I miss you, Jake, we all do. We love you so much, we always will.

Goodnight, boy.
jakeyboy

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #3 
Jake,

the nights seem to get colder and colder. I hope you're nice and warm up there. We've been talking about adopting a rescue kitten, something I know you would have wanted me to do. Though they will never replace the Jake-sized hole in my heart. It would also be some nice companionship for Chan. He's an old dog now, and he was so used to having you around that he probably gets lonely when we're not at home.

I still keep some of my old sweaters out for you on your favourite chair. Force of habit, I suppose. I know you haven't completely left us, I feel like I can still feel you somehow and it's somewhat comforting. I still have a good cry here and there, one moment I'm okay and the next I'm crying my eyes out. I know it will get easier, that one day I'll be able to think of you and laugh at our good memories, instead of bursting out crying.

I want to thank you, Jakey, for all the amazing times you've given me and I can only hope that I gave you a good life while you were with us.

Until tomorrow, my boy, goodnight.

jakeyboy

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #4 
Jakey,

I miss you, boy. While it's definitely getting easier, I have my down moments, too. 

It was my birthday today, I had a good time and got some good gifts, but something felt off. My heart felt heavy when I woke up to the memory of my eighteenth birthday, when you sat on my bed that morning and watched as I tore open my cards and gifts. You loved to mess about with the wrapping paper, so it was a little weird not having tiny shreds of paper to clear up afterwards.

We spoke about you to the rest of the family today and while they didn't know you well, they were devastated to hear that you were no longer with us. You were such a loving little ball of fur that everyone who came across you couldn't help but fall in love. 

You were well loved by many, Jakey boy, and you still are. You will forever remain in our memories.

Goodnight, my handsome boy.
jakeyboy

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #5 
Jakey boy,

it's been a week since you passed. I miss you so much. I never thought it was possible to feel so empty, but I know it will get better.

I have to put on a hard front in front of certain people because according to them, you were 'just a pet'. That's not the case at all. You were part of the family, one of my best friends, an amazing little companion so full of love it was ridiculous. No matter how many pets I may get after you, you will always hold a special place in my heart.

'Til tomorrow, my sweet boy, goodnight.


jakeyboy

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #6 
Jakey,

tomorrow will be exactly a month since you passed. While I can say it's definitely gotten easier, there isn't a day that goes by when I don't think of you.

We welcomed a new furry little baby into the family three weeks ago. I know you would have wanted this, for me to eventually move on and pass on the love to another pet in need. He's a real live wire, just like you was as a kitten, and he gets on with Chan extremely well. It's quite comical at times, watching a tiny little kitten and an old dog play fight. It reminds me so much of having you back at home. Rather than sitting and crying remembering your last few days at home with us, I laugh at all the amazing memories you left in your wake. 

It might be a bad thing to say but apart from Chan, I've never loved a pet more than I loved you. I was surprised, but everyone knew how hard your passing hit me. They know that you was my baby, and I absolutely loved you to bits. 

You will always be my precious baby boy, and you will always hold a special place in my heart.

I love you so much, Jakey.

Until next time.
jakeyboy

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #7 
Dearest Jakey,

I've been thinking about you a lot these past couple of days. Not that it's anything out of the ordinary- not a day goes by when I don't think about you- but for some reason, they're sad thoughts. Thoughts of the last day I spent with you, how I had to lug you around from one vet the other when all you wanted to do was go home. How I wasn't there when you were put to sleep. We had you for seven years and during that time you were always there for me. You helped me through so much and I couldn't even be there when you most needed me. Please know that I so badly wanted to be there, that I wanted to see you and hug you and tell you I love you one last time. I'm so sorry didn't. I'm so sorry the last time you saw me was 4 days prior.

I'm so sorry I couldn't bring you home.

The guilt has come back in full force but I want you to know know that I love you so, so much, Jake. Not a day goes by when I don't miss you.

I love you so much, Jakey boy.
jakeyboy

Registered:
Posts: 14
 #8 
Jakey!

It's been a while since I've posted on here. 

A few days ago was the first time I stepped foot in the vets since you passed, and since then I've been thinking about you a lot. You're always on my mind, but these last few days; even more so. The guilt of not being with you during your final moments came rushing back. I know it will get better within a couple of days, but I still miss you so, so much.

I love you, Jakey boy.
Mustlovedogs

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #9 
Hope you are doing a bit better. I can feel how much you loved Jake in your letters. I had to put my sweet boy down on Saturday and I just dont think I will ever be the same.
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