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Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
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ADDItude

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Posts: 7
 #1 
Do having/making memorials help (you) heal? How do you do or how have you made yours? What types of things do you do to remember your pet? For me, I added her paw print to my memorial stand for my grandma, placed a copy of the Rainbow Bridge poem on the mirror above, made a folder on my computer with all of her/the pictures, made her my background picture on stuff like gmail, my computer aka wallpaper and even been working on a calendar for next year w/ nothing but her in/on it.  I hope by (us) listing how you remember your pet(s) brings (some) healing. Lord knows we need it!!


Karmacat

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Posts: 40
 #2 
I have no real physical memorials of my cat. I chose not to keep her remains or ashes, because I know she no longer resided in those physical remains any more. Yet, everyday since she left, 9+months ago, I remember her everyday and shed tears for her. I had never experienced such deep and long lasting sadness before. I wanted badly to get through it, get through the tears and sorrow, but am starting to realise that it may never happen. As some people have remarked, there is no coming out to the other side. Rather, the tragedy has happened, and it will remain with us for the rest of the way. For myself, I am somewhat shocked to find that the death of a cat has been the hardest to accept. Maybe because these creatures seem so innocent and have so little understanding of what is happening to them, and we have to make all the decisions for them. Including the horrendous one of sometimes having to decide when they should be put down. It's been a long time to grief already, but probably, it's still early days yet. Nothing much feels happy now but of course, I am grateful for having had my Karma cat and miss her terribly every day. It hurts a lot, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Now, to see if the passage of more time will eventually lessen the grief and sorrow...
ADDItude

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #3 
I am like you, chose not to keep her remains for the same reason and also like you have/have had the same feelings....feelings of sadness and/or etc.  And just a side note, you don't have to have the remains to have a physical memorial. When we put our sweet Ginger down, the vet made a paw print and I placed it on my little stand for my Grandma....I placed a number of things on it as a memorial after she died back in Oct. 2015.
Karmacat

Registered:
Posts: 40
 #4 
While it is certainly an individual choice, I sometimes question whether it is good to have such momentos or memorials. In my case, I felt it might prolong my grief, which already has stretched beyond all of my expectations. It took a month or two before I could even go into the room where Karma cat spent her last weeks because the pain was so overwhelming . I know I'll never forget her anyway for sure.
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