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Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
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Doya

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Posts: 2
 #1 
My precious dog, Dori that I lived with since grade 1 passed away two days ago at April 7,2019. I am on a roller coaster of emotions where I feel calm and numb, or devastated or hopeful for me and Dori’s next meeting.
I loved every moment with her consciously and unconsciously. I couldn’t call myself a very good owner or family since I was always “busy” with school and etc. But she was always an independent dog only coming when she wanted to sleep or wanted company.

She died so suddenly. Was severly ill and passed the same day. I feel lucky she didn’t have to suffer for long. That morning she was extremely weak and seemed tired and I had this strange and subtle feeling that she will die today. So I said sorry and said I love you and took a picture of her (I’m so glad I did this) and she came to lean on me but I had to get ready for my tutor class which I regret so much. I was denying the truth and possibility thinking accepting it will make it real.

Me and my sister brought her to the vet after my sister also realized she was acting strange. The doctor saw her and brought her to icu where she was supposed to stay overnight. I couldn’t hug her because she was inside the cage but I squeezed my hand through the bars and she came and met my eyes for a long time while I was petting her trying to give her some energy. She turned away and slept.

I went back home after because the doctor said they will run some tests to treat her and the vet told us to be prepared for her death since its “possible” We were nervous but we went back home and while we were eating dinner (almost forcing ourselves to eat) there was a call that Dori had a stroke and her heart stopped beating. We rushed to the hospital where we saw her cold and stiff. Her eyes weren’t even closed.

Immediately my heart broke.

We brought her back home and all mourned for her. I think Dori was lucky or perhaps it was on her purpose that she passed the day we all could stay with her (My sisters was about to go to uni, I had to go to tutor, my dad came back from another province from work). She was so beautiful even after her death.

We all go some sleep but I barely could get any. In the very sunrise I went to Dori who was still beautiful as she laid on her favorite bed. I embraced her for hours talking to her, comforting her, telling all the things I wanted her to hear. Then we cremated her and let her go at the beach she liked. I have two other dogs who and families helping me through this.

I still don’t know the exact reason of her death but I’m guessing of old age (11) or a gastrointestinal disease. She was weak since we brought her and even when she got stronger she had a poor digestive system. I’m so glad that she taught me so many things during and after her life. And that she was always there for me and even the smallest things: Dori sleeping beside me, sitting next to me in the toilent or anywhere, seeing her smile, was all such a happy and loving moment and memory.

I will never forget her. Even if her shell or physical body had died, I believe her soul is free, painless, and happy in the Rainbow Bridge. I can’t wait to see her. I know she loved me alot and had a happy life with our family. I hope she doesn’t feel sad about all this grieving. I am really sorry I couldn’t do better for you, I am very thankful you chose me and stood by me through my childhood, and I love you very very much. I promise Dori that I will live with all I can for you and live like there’s no tomorrow. Thankyou and I love you.
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 417
 #2 
I am so very sorry. It hurts, I know. Sometimes they hold on before going, it's their way so show and share their love. Dori sounds like a wonderful fur child. I can see that she held a special place in your heart. I am also happy that you can remember her special place at the beach. You were good to her so don't feel as if you let her down. She understood the busy lives that we all live and she was okay with that. Sometimes they don't require at lot of attention, they only want to part of us and that's okay. You loved and were loved, cherish that always. Remember the journey that you shared with Dori.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
Doya

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #3 
I hope this reaches @cosesmom

Thank you for your words. Surprisingly I’m feeling better even though it has not even been a week since Dori passed. Perhaps I was unconsciously getting ready for her death. I felt guilty and horrible at first for feeling better but I realized that I skipped some of the grieving stage and jumped to acceptance (everyone grieves differently). And I want to remember her with a smile not a tear. Again thank you for your words and thank you for reading and replying.

Love and doggie hugs too

2562년 4월 11일 (목) 오전 8:20, Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board < noresponse@websitetoolbox.com>님이 작성:
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