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Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
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RRGRS

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Posts: 4
 #1 
Our best friend fought cancer for over 2 1/2 years. He completed 4 rounds of chemo and 30 radiation treatments in another state. He was the best dog on this entire earth!!! We rescued him 5 years ago. He was homeless. We found him with a stick stuck in the roof of his mouth and a huge fatty tumor. We had those fixed immediately and he was our baby from that day forward. He spend mostly all of his time indoors and was an indoor dog. Fast forward 2 years post chemo. We had our first baby. Our son was crawling etc. I was informed that even after 2 years there could be chemo that is detectable in the urine of animals and humans. I realize now it was my ocd that got the best of me. Dexter was showing no signs of his cancer illness at all. He was always so happy but he was incontinent secondary to radiation. He started needed out every couple hours to pee and poop and I was always worried in the back of my mind about the urine leaking and my son possibly being exposed. Since the weather was nice my husband and I decided to let our dog stay outside alot and run and even put a dog house outside with a plush bed and heater in case he got cold in 60 to 70 degree weather. He ended up liking it and even staying outside at night quite a bit. Before winter started we brought him inside for good. I will NEVER forgive myself for this. Little did we know his cancer was brewing and came back with a vengeance. We lost him a couple weeks later. He was so happy and healthy and declined in 2 days. Help me!


Okcoxg

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Posts: 2
 #2 
Please don’t blame yourself. You said yourself that he was happy and enjoyed being outside. Even if you had him in the house as you used to the cancer would have still been there. You would not have picked up on it any faster. I’m not saying that to be cruel, just to point out that it’s hard for us to see those kinds of things to those closest and dearest to us. Please forgive yourself. Your dog was very loved and cared for by you. Godspeed,
Okcoxg

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #3 
Please don’t blame yourself. You said yourself that he was happy and enjoyed being outside. Even if you had him in the house as you used to the cancer would have still been there. You would not have picked up on it any faster. I’m not saying that to be cruel, just to point out that it’s hard for us to see those kinds of things to those closest and dearest to us. Please forgive yourself. Your dog was very loved and cared for by you. Godspeed,
RRGRS

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #4 
Thank you so much for your thoughtful post. I am just so worried that he was lonely and felt abandoned. I just wish my fear wouldn't have gotten to the point where I thought it was a good idea to leave him outside. I hope he remembered all of the good times and that the last month didn't blur and take over the good memories I just keep praying daily. I still struggle so much. I just cannot get over it. 
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