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Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
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Posts: 4
I lost my Daesi 2 days ago. I had to go to a weekend class, just for a weekend. She was an elderly Great Dane mix with separation anxiety, and I am certain if I'd have been home to take care of her myself she'd still be here. I'm sick with sadness and guilt. She always had anxiety when left alone, but I also changed her food too recently. I entrusted her care to my 19 yr old daughter who didn't check on her or take her out as often or as soon as she should have. Without all the details, I know had I been there and she been tended to the way she needed she probably wouldn't have gotten sick at all. As it was I was gone 24 hrs and I didn't make it home before she passed. So not only could I have prevented the whole episode, my baby suffered, AND I wasn't even able to be there to comfort her. I feel so bad. I know she had a great life with us but I think it ended too soon and could have been helped. She was such a good dog. And I miss her so much already! She got me through hard times and was always, always there for me. I guess its only fair that I lose that comfort since I couldn't return th favor..

Posts: 10
I’m so sorry about your baby. I know the feelings of not wanting to leave them in another’s care. I’m sure you prepared and did all you could do to be gone. It’s tough beyond measure trying to take care of them but still do the things in life that have to be tended to. Your precious dog knew you loved them. That I promise you. Prayers and comfort for you now and in the days to come.

Posts: 4
This situation is always hard enough but this is unbelievably difficult with the added guilt. Thank you for the words of kindness. Finding this message board has been a blessing.

Posts: 9
I’m so sorry that happened to you. Just remember you did the best you can and I’m sure she knows it, even though you weren’t there physically, you were there with her spiritually. Treasure all the good moments you had with her. You can get through this, it’ll take time but things will get easier. We had to let our precious dog, Tepito go yesterday and I feel your pain. It’s hard to not have them anymore but their spirit also lives on in our heart and soul.

Posts: 4
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking the time to give me consideration. It is so much harder adjusting than I could have imagined. But you're right, we all try to do what we think is best...and it will take time to heal. Getting there is hard but this message board has helped to ease the discomfort.

Posts: 11
I feel the horrible guilt as well. My girl became disabled 3 years ago after an injury. The injury didn't cause pain, just immobility. We always said that she had been through enough and that we would care for her for as long as she was happy and otherwise healthy. She battled with urinary tract infections all her life, but they became worse due to immobility. So she was on daily low dose antibiotics, but every now and then, a stronger infection would creep in and we had to treat it with something stronger. We carried her everywhere, took her outside and supported her body while she peed. The paralysis affected mostly one side of her body and thought we exercised the limbs she couldn't move, her left front leg was becoming more and more stiff and hard to move manually. Even if it wasn't "hurting" when no one was touching it, I imagine that it was at the very least uncomfortable. Lately, she was having a little more trouble holding her bladder (could have been another infection creeping in), and she was even pooping a lot more. Maybe we were feeding her more, maybe it was something else. I truly don't know. She seemed a little less "settled" than she normally was, and whined for attention a lot more. So we looked at the big picture and decided to let our girl go before anything else happened. She was still mostly happy, still eating and drinking, and still smiling her beautiful smile. I wanted her to be able to leave us that way.

But now that she's gone, I just feel guilty. I wonder if maybe she was just having a rough patch and we could have worked harder to get her through it. I wonder if we made the decision in part because we were tired. It's a lot of work taking care of a disabled dog and working full-time. I feel SO much guilt and it's eating me alive. I would never, ever have intentionally hurt my amazing girl... not for anything in the world. I just miss her terribly and can't bear the pain, the guilt or the thought that it's never going to get better. :(
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