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brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #81 
Harry,

You have probably noticed that Cuddles is there now. I am hoping that you are showing her around, though I know she was not very friendly towards you. Perhaps you and Baby Kitty could stay close to her as she gets adjusted to life there. Show her where the best tress are, and where the best place is to lay in the sun. I am sure you all can be friends now that you are in heaven. Please keep her company and let her know that her mommy and daddy are missing her. She was very special to them, just as you was to me. I could just imagine your reaction when you saw her. I bet your eyes got big, and your mouth dropped open, and you was thinking, "Oh no, there is that cat that likes to hiss at me". I remember when we were watching her, how she would seek you out just to hiss at you. You always just gave her a look as if to say, "What is the matter with you? Are you crazy?", and then you would go back to what you was doing. I bet that really got her goat. But, you tried so hard to be friends with her also, she was having none of that though. But, you was a good boy, and just left her alone. I have always been proud of you. You are so very sweet and handsome. I love you, my special boy. Love Mommy.  Here is some hugs kisses and cuddles for you, and you can share them with Baby Kitty, and Cuddles if you like, and any other that you would like to share with. I love you, Har Har. Love Mommy 
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #82 
Harry,

It is now 8 months since I got to last hold you. I miss you so very much, my special boy. To me you was always so very handsome and special. I know that you had your little habits that was annoying at times, but still, you was always you, and you knew what you wanted and when you wanted it. Are you showing Cuddles the ropes, I hope so. I am sure that the 2 of you can now be friends. I wish that you was still here. Every day, I wish it, and I miss you so much. I know that I have so many good memories of you, but it is not the same has having you here. I am wondering how you feel about Gabby. She can never replace you because there can only be one Harry. If possible, could you help her learn to do what she needs to do in the litter box? I don't know if you was responsible for us getting her or not. Perhaps you saw a cat that needed help, and you thought I was the right person for her. I don't know if I am or not. I guess I have the patience to help her, but sometimes it gets aggravating when it seems she is coming along all right, and then she backslides. I guess that truthfully I just wish you was still here. I have also been feeding some strays, which I am sure you know that. I guess it helps to fill the void you left, it gives me a reason to be here, to have other cats depending on me. But, there are times still, that I would like to just be with you again. You and Jeannie was all I ever needed, and now I feel like I have lost you both. You know that Jean will be getting married, but I would really rather she waited. I hope she is doing the right thing. Please Harry, watch over her, and please stay close to us both. If you could, I would like a dream visit from you. I love you, Har Har. Always and forever. You are my special boy, and you will always have a special place in my heart. Until we meet again, here is some hugs, kisses, and cuddles sent on the wind to you. You can share some with the other cats if you like. I love you, love, Mommy 
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #83 
Hi Harry,

I would like to say Happy Valentine's day to you, and also happy 36 weeks at Rainbow bridge. You will live forever in my heart, sweet boy. You will always be my handsome boy, and I will always love you. I hope that you, Baby Kitty, Cuddles, and all the other cats that I have known and loved are having a special day up there with special treats just for Valentine's day. I miss you so very much, Har Har. I never thought that I would make it this many months without you, and I know in the beginning, all I wanted was to be with you again. I still want that, but I know that it will happen one day. Perhaps you have found some of the other fur babies up there and you are all having a great time playing while you wait for your person or persons to rejoin us. I don't expect you to sit and wait for me, I am sure that you will know when I am coming. I am sure there is a way that all fur babies know when their person has crossed the bridge. I would like to have a dream visit from you, and perhaps you could get the other ones to visit their mommies and daddies. I am sure my sister would enjoy a visit from Cuddles. I love you, and you will always be my sweetheart, along with Jeannie. You are both my Valentines, and the best thing that I could ever have was your love for me. Jean gets married on Monday. I really wish you was here still. I really miss having you keep me company. I love you, Har Har. Sending some hugs, kisses and cuddles to you on the wind. Keep your star burning bright, boy. Love, Mommy 
kjgonz

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Posts: 598
 #84 
Brenda, Your loving words to Harry each week are incredibly heartwarming!  My heart goes out to you as you journey down this path of grief.  It's so hard and as each day, week and month pass, it can be harder because no one really seems to remember or even care.  Thank you for always sharing your love and thoughts for your boy, and always reaching out to my Rosie each Thursday.  It means so much.  I still cry every day - every day.  But when I see a candle has been lit for my baby, I smile and just want to hug you and your Harry.  Much love to both of you!

Rosie's Mom
mspandie1117

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Posts: 2,465
 #85 
Thinking of you today Brenda and your sister too.  Harry and Cuddles are together and they have the comfort of each other.  Hugs to their moms!
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #86 
Hi Harry,

I still miss my boy. You will always be special to me. Jean got married on Monday, and I hope it turns out all right for her. The siamese cat that has been hanging around since fall came in and I think it may want to stay. If it does, then i will let it, but I won't force the issue. It still won't be the same as having you, but I am sure it will be ok. I am wondering if maybe you led it here. It has some of your mannerisms, but it is meowy, and a bit clingy. Perhaps that is from being a stray for so long, I don't know. I will always wish that you was still here. You have been gone for 37 weeks now. Next week, I will be having surgery. Perhaps you could tell the other fur babies to pay a visit to their loved ones. I will always wish that you could of gotten better. I would still rather have you with me, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. I have been crying again because I miss you. I don't think that I will have as strong a bond with another as what I had with you. You will always be special to me, and my heart cat. I will say that there have been some before you, but I think that you will be the last one. I guess there are some that are so very special, and you were special. You was all I ever wanted in a fur baby, even when you would do things that aggravated me, but, I would put up with them again to have you back. I love you, Har Har. Always and forever. Sending you some hugs, kisses and cuddles on the wind. Love, Mommy   
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #87 
Hi Harry,

I still miss you so much. I wish you was here right now. I am sending this letter to you tonight because I won't be able to tomorrow. I will be at the hospital having surgery. I know that you will stay by me during this, and I know that you will stay by Jeannie as she waits for news on how I am doing. I really do wish you was still here. I can't believe it has been 38 weeks tomorrow. I miss you so very much, my sweet and handsome boy. I will always rather have you here with me, no matter how many cats I may have in the future. To me, you will always be special. My life is not the same without you here with me. I don't know why you wasn't able to get better. I wish that you had so that we could have a few more years together. I love you, and I always will. I have been crying again, not a lot, but some, because I am missing you. I know that one day we will be together again, and I will be so happy to see you again. I love you, Har Har. I am sending you some hugs, kisses and cuddles on the wind. Love, Mommy
InMemoryOfRascal

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Posts: 2,422
 #88 
I wish you well in your surgery tomorrow.  Know that Harry will be there with you.

Take care
Rascals mama
mspandie1117

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Posts: 2,465
 #89 
Best wishes for your surgery!!!  Please let us know how you are doing as soon as you can.  Prayers for you today
Zenith

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Posts: 8
 #90 
"I look out the back door just hoping you will magically appear"

I do this. My Zenith has only been gone three days. But I do this. I look out the window, I look out the door on the stoop.. as though I am going to see him there. But he's not there. I do this several times a day.
chester2me

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Posts: 94
 #91 
Benrae..I am so sorry about Harry..and I feel your pain thru your messages.  Please believe that Harry is taking care of all the "kittys" and his perimeter as well. 

I wish I could comfort you more, and it was you that reached out to me when my Boy Chester died and I posted.  You enriched me with such a beautiful message which has helped me thru my grief..It is amazing how we find the words for others, but our own hearts are so heavy with sorrow.

Please take care and know that Harry is with you every step of the way..

I will be thinking of you....
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #92 
Hi Harry,

I am now back home from my surgery. I missed doing all my rituals I do each night before I go to bed, but I did remember to wish you a good night. Jean has come home for a few days to take care of me, since I am not supposed to do too much lifting. I wish you was here while I recuperate from my surgery, but I know that you will always be here in spirit, and you will live forever in my heart. I love you, Har Har. I am sure that you was with me and watching over me as I was having the surgery done. I miss you, my special, sweet, and handsome boy. Sending some hugs, cuddles and kisses to you, my special fur angel. Love, Mommy
mspandie1117

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Posts: 2,465
 #93 
Glad to hear you are back home.  Harry was and is watching over you, I have no doubt!
brenrae

Registered:
Posts: 4,647
 #94 
Hi Harry,

I am still missing you, and you will always be my special boy. It has been 9 months now that you have been at Rainbow Bridge. I still cry because I miss you, but I do want you to be happy. I hope you are having lots of fun with all your new friends, and please welcome all the new ones that are joining you at the bridge. I am sure you know that I have Gabby (the Gabster) and Sandy (My. Sandman), yes they have nicknames. I am sure that you sent them my way so that I could share my love with them. You knew how much I love cats, and that I would be a good mother to them. I want to thank you for that, though it does not diminish how much I miss having you here, they do give me love and have brought laughter to my life again. I guess that I would always rather have you, but I know that you are still near me, and watching over me. I have been trying to make friend with a little black and white kitten outside. Not to give it a home, but perhaps to find it a new home. I believe that it wants to be friends, but is scared. Perhaps you could guide it and let it know that it would be safe with me. Perhaps my sister may be willing to take it. I know that she still misses Cuddles, and I am sure this little one may help her. That is what I have decided to call it for now, Little One. I think it is female, as I have seen Mr. Sandman trying to mate with it also, so it is probably the one that has his hormones going. I still look at your pictures every night, and I still pet your urn before I go to bed. I am going to try and find a Curio cabinet or shadow box to set these urns and pictures in. I want to keep them safe, as they are all I have left of you and Baby Kitty, except for my memories. I would also like to thank you for the 12 wonderful years you gave me. I know that you were not perfect, but you didn't need to be. I loved you for who you was, and I know that you loved me also. I still love you, and I always will. You will always be my special, sweet, and handsome boy. I loved your patience and your stubbornness. Every little quirk you had, that was what made you special. I love you, Har Har. I am sending you some kisses, hugs, and cuddles on the wind. Until we meet again, have fun among the clouds, and keep your perimeter safe, like you did down here. Enjoy those treats, but remember to share with others. And enjoy laying in the sun, with the gentle breezes blowing through your fur. Love, Mommy
Quiet

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Posts: 13
 #95 
I hate being awake too. I keep thinking it's all a bad dream. That I'll wake up and my baby will be here. With me. Where she should be. I just needed one more day with her. Every day is a cold reminder...and tomorrow will start without you. Again and again and again.
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #96 
Harry,

Another week now has passed without you. 40 weeks seems like forever since I last saw my special, sweet boy. Ever day, I wish that you was still here. I would give just about anything to have my baby back. Why you didn't get better, we will never know. I never wanted you to go, and I will always wish that I could have more time with you. I miss you so much, and I know that I will never truly get over you being gone. I know that I just have to live my life without you by my side, and truthfully, it sucks. To me, you were the best cat I will ever know and love. Even though I do have Gabby and Sandy now, it is not the same as when you was here. The 12 years that you was here with me was good years. I know there were times when things was hard, but I was happy and content with you here. Now, I feel like I am just living, but not really living. I am just waiting for our reunion, but I guess I still have work to do here. God isn't ready for me yet, I guess. One day, we will be together again, until then, you will always live in my heart. Each week that goes by gets me closer to that dreadful day that I had to let you go. I know that time is different where you are, and so it doesn't seem as long to you. I am sorry that I still cry because I miss you so much, I know that you wouldn't want that for me. I know that you would want me to be happy. It seems like I have been crying every day this week because I miss you. Perhaps it is because I have been home healing from the surgery, so there is nothing really to distract me. There has also been so many nice days that we could of spent outside. I know how much you always enjoyed being out, and being able to check the perimeter, and try to catch the birds and squirrels. I am sure you would get upset with me because I would not allow you to catch them, and I would chase them off if you got too close. I wish that you had never gotten whatever virus or bacteria caused your problem, then you would still be here. I miss having you beside me, or just in the same room as I was in. You always had to be with me. I miss giving you your treats every night, and throwing them for you to chase. I miss your head toss, and meow as you would greet me. And I miss hearing your purr as I am going to sleep. I just miss everything about you. It would seem like I am sliding backwards again, just when I think I am doing all right, this happens. I guess it is a lot of things maybe. I will always miss you, and you will always have a special place in my heart. I do hope you are having loads of fun up there while you wait for me. I know that you are making lots of friends, because you were so very friendly with others. Although you didn't like dogs much, I feel that you have made friends with them also. Remember to share your treats with others, and don't play to rough. I love you, Har Har. Sending some hugs, kisses and cuddles to you. Love, Mommy
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #97 
Hi Harry,

I know that I just wrote to you. I saw the doctor today, and I can go back to work, but the place I work may not let me due to the amount that I am allowed to lift. I can't lift over 10 pounds, and my position, and the alternate position requires you to lift 25 pounds. I am not sure what I should do at this point. I wish that you was here for me to cuddle with, and for company. I miss you so much. I have been crying a lot this week, every day, actually. I just want you back so badly, Harry. Even when things was bad, I knew that your would always be up to a cuddle, for a short amount of time. I really hate you not being here. Perhaps not working is taking its toll on me, I don't know. There is not a lot I can do around the house either, and though I can drive now, there is no place I really want to go. I wish that you was still here, though I do like the other cats that I do have. They do have a place in my heart also, but still I would just like to see you again. I love you, Harry. I really wish that things could of gone differently for you, and that you would of just gotten better. I am trying not to cry, because I do not want you to feel sad for me. I don't know what I can do to get myself out of this sadness that I feel. I'm not sad all the time, just some of the time. Perhaps I just need more time. Each day, week, month brings me closer to the anniversary of your passing, and I am not sure that I am ready for it. I love you still, Har Har, always and forever. 
brenrae

Registered:
Posts: 4,647
 #98 
Harry,

Week 41 without you. I did not think that I would be able to go on without you, and yet, I am still here. I miss you so much, my special boy. To me, you were perfect, though I know you really weren't. You had some things that I did not want you to do, but that is what made you the cat you was. I loved you, and I miss the things you did. I miss your purr and your meow. Since I have had to stay home and not work, I miss you even more. There has been so many days that we could of explored the back yard, and you are not here to explore with me. Although it was more you exploring and me just following along behind you to see what you would find. Though I now have 2 other cats, they can never take your place. Your place in my heart is for you alone. You were my soul and heart cat. I would of given anything if you had just gotten better, but it was not meant to be. I know that one day we will be reunited, but it feels like forever to me. Please help me to remember all that you have taught me during your time here. I think the most important is to accept everyone as a friend. You were friends with everyone, and if you wasn't, there was a good reason. You were such a good judge of character. I am hoping that you are having fun there at the bridge, and I am sure that you are making lots of friends there. I hope you will continue to guide me down life's road, and always stay close. But, do not forget to have fun while you wait for me. I hope you are friends with the ones that went before you. I love you, my sweet and handsome boy. I always will, and I will always miss you. There has been so many times that I have wished that you was still here, every day actually. Though I do love the other cats, it is still you I want. I hope that doesn't sound bad, but a spirit like yours is so special, so how can it not be missed. I remember that when something scared you, you would always go and check it out, with your tail all poofed up, and swaying back and forth, and straight in the air. You were very brave. And you always came with me to answer the door, I guess you was there to protect me, or you were just being nosy, but I choose to think of you as my protector, my cat protector. I miss that also. I dreamed about you yesterday, and you were standing at the end of my bed, and just watching me as I slept. I love you, Har Har, always and forever. Until we meet again, here is some hugs, kisses and cuddles sent to you on the wind. Love, Mommy
brenrae

Registered:
Posts: 4,647
 #99 
Harry,

It has been a long, hard week for me. I have been sad and crying because of how much I have been missing you. I wish that you were still here beside me still.  I know you would of enjoyed the many days we would of spent outdoors, with you inspecting the perimeter, and keeping it safe from intruders. Today would of been a good outside day for us. I always enjoyed walking around in the back yard, and you would sometimes follow me wherever I went. I really don't know what is wrong that I am having such a hard time here lately. I thought that I was doing better, but it seems that lately I miss you more and more. You were always such good company, perhaps that is what I miss, and how much love was shared between us. You meant so much to me, and now, you are not here. I never thought that I would be able to get through the first few months without you, and yet, I am still here. I have accepted you are gone, but it does not make the missing you any less. I will always be grateful that I got to have you by my side for 12 years, but I will always want  more time with you. I know that you have seen Gabby and Sandy, and though I love them, things will never be the same. I don't know if maybe you lead me to them, or them to me, but if you did, I want to say thank you. I guess that truthfully, I would always want you back, though I do love these other cats, it can never be the same as what I felt for you. You will always be my special, sweet, and handsome boy. I love you, Har Har, always and forever. Until we meet again, here is some hugs, cuddles, and kisses sent to you on the wind. I also hope you have a good Easter at Rainbow Bridge. It is now week 42 without you, and I am still missing you as much now, as I did then. Love, mommy 
brenrae

Registered:
Posts: 4,647
 #100 
Well, Har Har,

I made it through this Easter without you. I miss watching you play with the gift bags and the tissue paper. I hope you got an endless supply up there where you are at. I still wish you was here instead of there, and I think that I will wish it until it comes time for me to join you. I went over to my sister's for dinner, so that i would not be alone. You would of enjoyed the beautiful day we had here, at least until the rain came. I know that you are healthy now, and I am glad of that. You are probably basking in the sunshine, and rolling around to show your belly to the sun like you used to do here. I miss having you follow me around when I am doing things, and I miss you laying beside me as I sleep. I miss everything. I listened to Jim Croce's "Time in a Bottle", and started crying, because I thought of you. The one thing I have to say is that if I could save time in a bottle, I would save every moment I spent with you. I will always be grateful for the 12 years we had together, through the ups and downs. You are so very special, and the time you was here were some of the best for me. I love you, Harry, always and forever. I guess that truthfully, I will never really get over you being gone. I will just have to learn to be without you. I am sending you some hugs, kisses and cuddles for Easter. I hope you will visit me soon. I enjoy the nights I dream of you.  Love, Mommy 
hcc

Registered:
Posts: 34
 #101 
Brenrae your devotion to your sweet friend Harry is beautiful and inspiring.   I loved reading every one of your love letters to him.   
brenrae

Registered:
Posts: 4,647
 #102 
Hi Harry,

Tomorrow it will be 10 long months since you have been gone. I can't believe that it will soon be a year. I never really thought that I would make it this far without you. Today, I had to go to Walgreen's and have the photo album that Jeannie gave to me with your pictures fixed. I guess I must look at it a lot. I love the pictures, but I would rather have you. I have been listening to Time in a Bottle, and Seasons in the Sun. I think both songs says it all. We did have so much fun while you was here, and the years spent with you were wonderful years. I will always treasure that time. I will always wish for more time with you, but I guess you know that already. You will always be my special and handsome boy. I really wish that we could be spending some time outside together. The days that I have been home have been good days for the most part. I was not ready to let you go, but I couldn't make you stay and know you would be uncomfortable. I guess we have to do what is best for those we love, though it breaks our heart in two. If there had been any sign that you would get better, I would of waited as long as it took, but it seemed like you just kept getting worse. I have a favor to ask you. Would you please tell Andrea's Buddy to pay her a visit? She misses him as much as I miss you. I am so very happy when you visit me in my dreams, though I do wish that you was here for real. I miss your meow, and your scent. I always loved to just sniff you, though you would always give a look as if to say, "Hey, What are you doing?". And I always loved the way you would lean your head towards us if we asked for a kiss. I know that you always understood what we said to you, and I loved the way you would answer us. There is a poem about going to heaven and bringing you back for just a day, but I would want more than just a day. I guess that truthfully, I would never be ready to let you go, but, it seems like sometimes we have to do what we are not ready for. I live without you now, but, I know that we will be together again, and I know that you are in a better place, and you are healthy again, so, I guess I will have to be satisfied with that. I love you, Har Har. I always will. I miss you also, and I will until we are together again. I am sending you some hugs, cuddles and kisses on the wind. Until we meet again, you will live in my heart. 
lindaw

Registered:
Posts: 304
 #103 
Brenrae....Your letters to Harry show how much he was loved. Harry is always with you, no matter what.
Without a doubt, you and he will be together one day. Imagine what a joyful day that will be.

Macy's mom...Linda
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #104 
Hi Harry,

It seems like forever to me, and yet only yesterday that you were here. I still miss you, and you will always be in my heart. I got back from the doctor, and I go back to work on Monday. I hope that will help having something to do, but I don't know if it will. Being a cashier leaves so much time to think and to miss those that are gone. You will always be my special boy. You gave me so much joy when you was here, and truthfully, it is so hard at times to continue on without you, but I must. I know that one day I will see you again, but it feels like it will be forever. The weather has been so nice here, and there would of been so many days that you would of enjoyed being outside. We have a bird nest in the back. You would of enjoyed watching them, and you would probably try to catch them when they start trying to fly. These days without you are so long, and I still feel the tears well up in my eyes when I think about you not being here. I am still sad that you are gone, and I know that I always will be. But, I know that I will be all right. I can also smile at the memories you have left behind. Those memories are so precious to me, and I would never want to be without them. Knowing you and loving you is worth all the pain that came with you having to leave me. I love you, my special boy. You are a very important part of my life. My Har Har, there can never be another like you. Sending you hugs and cuddles, and kisses. Love, mommy
brenrae

Registered:
Posts: 4,647
 #105 
Harry,

Here we are now at week 45. I still miss you so much, my handsome boy. I still wish that you had gotten better, and there is still times that I cry because you are gone. Actually just about every day. I went back to work on Monday, and you are always on my mind. It seems like it has been forever since I last got to see you, and yet just like yesterday. I know how much you would of enjoyed being outside with the weather being so nice. I was able to mow the yard today, and when I mowed the back yard, I kept thinking about how much you always enjoyed being out there. Sometimes you would just go out and sleep under the bush, after doing your perimeter check. And sometimes you just liked to roll around and let the sun warm your belly. I always enjoyed watching you as you explored, especially when you discovered something new. It always made me smile when you would do your head bobbing thing, as you tried to figure out what you had seen. I still don't know why you got sick, and wasn't able to get better, like you had before when you had the bladder infection. I guess sometimes things don't go the way we would like, and we just have to learn to be without those we love. I am getting used to you being gone, but, it doesn't mean that i have to like it. I am so blessed in getting to know you, and having you be with me for 12 years. You brought so much happiness to my world, and when you were no longer here, it was like a big, black cloud had covered the sky. It seemed at times that I would never get out from under it, but I am doing better, and though that cloud still comes, there is now some sun. I know that i will always miss you. You were so very precious to me. You were, and always will be, a  big part of my world. The love and joy you brought to my world is worth all the pain that Ii have gone through when you had to go on ahead of me to heaven. Now, I just look forward to the time we will be reunited. I know that day will come sometime in the future. Until then, I hope you enjoy your time up there, and please, remember to take some time to visit me. I love you, Har Har, always and forever. I am sending you some kisses, hugs, and cuddles. I love you, my handsome and special boy. Love, mommy  
brenrae

Registered:
Posts: 4,647
 #106 
Hi Harry,

I hope you are having a good day up there. Perhaps you have joined the brat pack on their many adventures. You probably jumped right on in because you always enjoyed doing fun things. I can still remember you as a small kitten, and you would run all over the place. I also remember trying to make the yard where you lived for the last 7 years of your life escape free. I swore you were harry Houdini, as you always found a way to get out of the yard. I would have to stand out there and discover how you got out. Once I had the holes covered up, you decided jumping over the fence was a good way to go. I always wanted to keep you safe from other cats, animals and cars. I guess you don't need to worry about all that now. You have so much room up there to roam, and I am sure you are enjoying it immensely. I still feel sad because you are gone, and I know you would not want me to feel that way. It is because I miss you so much. Yes, I know that I have gabby and Sandy now, but they are not you. I do love them both, but to me, you will always be special. There is no special reason why, you just are. I will never regret keeping you when you were a kitten. You are my heart and soul cat. I don't know if there will ever be another, but, no matter what, you can never be replaced. I love you, Har Har, and I always will. Until we meet again, here is some cuddles, kisses and hugs for you. I love you, Mommy
brenrae

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 #107 
Hi Harry,

Another week now, 47 to be exact. I was thinking about when you was a kitten. You always reminded me of Mowgli on Disney's Jungle Book, because of how you ran. You were all long legs and skinny body. You soon grew into your legs though, and then you were more like Simba, so majestic and gentle. I also remember how you would sit up, and it always reminded me of the meercats. I miss you so much still. Every day, I think about you and what we liked to do. Life was so good when you was here. Though I do love the 2 cats I have now, it can never be like it was with you. You was and are very special to me. There was something about you that always brightened my day. When I was at work, I would always talk about you and how special you was to me. People would always ask me how you was doing. I guess they felt they knew you by how much I talked about you. I was so proud of you, you were and are special. You gave so much love to everyone, and you always wanted to make new friends. I guess you are making lots of friends up there now. I still feel sad because you are gone, and I know I always will. I am glad that we had the years that we did have. If I could turn back time, I would like to go back to when you were still well, and perhaps we could find a way to prevent whatever caused your problem. I think it will be a hard month for me this month without you here. This is your birth month, and also the month that you became sick and had to go and stay at the vet's office. I don't know how I will make it through this next month, and then in June, it will be a year. Perhaps I should not worry about those days until they get here. But, how am I going to be able to make it through these next few weeks without you here? I love you, Har Har. My heart still aches for you. I still wish you was here beside me. Until we meet again, for I believe we will, you will be in my heart. I am sending you some cuddles, kisses and hugs on the wind. Love Mommy
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #108 
Hi Harry,

Here we are in May. Today has been a hard day for me without you. I think it is because this is the month that you got sick and had to be at the vet's office. It is also your birth month. I think I will always see May has the month that my world got turned upside down. It seems that I have been crying all day today. It will be 11 months tomorrow that you have been gone. It seems like forever at times, and yet, I feel you was still here just yesterday. I believe that you have been visiting me a lot lately. I keep catching your shadow out of the corner of my eye, or perhaps I am just seeing things. I do believe it is you though. The other day, you were laying on the couch in your spot. You are my special boy. To me, though I knew you had faults, you were perfect just the way you were. It seems hard to imagine that you and I would be apart for so long, and yet, here it is, almost a year. I never thought you would go to heaven at what I consider a young age, because to me, 12 is still young. I always thought you would be here at least till you was 15 or older. I still wonder if there could of been a different outcome if different things had been done, but I guess we will never know. I guess I should be grateful for the years we had, and I am grateful, I just wanted more years with you. I have so many wonderful memories of you, but I would rather have you here. I am so tired of pretending that I am doing all right when there are so many times when I can feel my heart breaking form your absence. I am also tired of being without you, when you are who I would really rather have. You and Jean, but Jean has her own life now. I wish that I could still have one of you here with me. I always thought I dealt well with changes, but there are some changes that are hard to deal with. Being without the two that I love is so very hard. I guess that today is just one of those hard days for me. I just wish we could be together again, but I know it isn't that time yet. When it is, I will gladly walk beside you, and we can cross the bridge together. I love you, Har Har. always and forever. Until I see you again, here is some kisses, hugs and cuddles in the wind. Love, mommy   
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #109 
Harry,

It was your 13th birthday on Tuesday. I hope you had a great time up there with all your fur angel and other angel friends. I hope that you had some of the catty shack treats that you like, and that an angel threw them like we always did, because you loved to chase after them. I guess it was you being the mighty hunter. You always gor so excited about your treats and would start meowing because you wanted them so badly. That is one of the things I miss, is giving you your treats. It was a ritual that we did every night. And then we had the treats that you would eat from our hand. You was always so gentle, being careful not to bite us as you took it from between our fingers. Tomorrow will be the day you went to the vet when you first got sick, and next Tuesday will be the day you went to the vet's office, and had to stay as they tried to make you better. I wish that you had never gotten sick, or that you had gotten better. I am trying to honor your memory by remembering that you were and are a part of our lives, rather than the fact that you are no longer here with me. It is hard though, when I still miss you so much. I still wish that you was here with me. You will always be my special boy. You brought so much joy just by being here. I still see you at times, so I know that you are still with me in spirit, and this morning I believe that I heard you meowing at me. I always loved your meow, and your little head toss you would do in greeting. I hope you are having fun enjoying the warm breeze, and rolling in the grass, as the sun warms your belly. I hope they have a nice, big catnip field for you to enjoy also, although catnip always made you crazy. I know that we will meet again someday, and then we will never be apart again. I am sure that you are with the ones that have gone before you, and you will all meet me as I cross the bridge to rejoin you, and then we will all have a lovely house with plenty of grass and trees and bushes. Until we meet again, I will always love you. I love you, Har Har, always and forever. Sending you some cuddles and kisses and hugs on the wind. Love, Mommy
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #110 
Harry,

I have been having a hard time this week. It was last May 21 that you went to the vet's and had to stay while they tried to make you better. I would get up early on the days that i had to work just so I could visit with you. And I would go over on the days that I was off to visit. It seemed like you was getting better a few times, and they would send you home, which I was happy about, but then we would be disappointed because you wasn't better, and we would have to take you back. I know how much you hated going to the vet's, and I hated putting you through that. All I ever wanted was for you to get better and come home to stay, but that was not meant to be. We took you to the vet on the 17th because of a bladder infection, or a blocked bladder, and watched to see how you was doing over the weekend. You started throwing up, and I could tell that you wasn't getting better, so as soon as I could on Monday, I took you to the vet's again. They put a catheter in you, and after a few days, I thought you would be home. I never expected it to be a roller coaster ride of you seeming to get better, and then not getting better. I missed having you home, and I missed having you sleeping beside me, and laying beside me as I watched tv. I miss taking you outside, and taking naps with you. I miss everything that we used to do, no matter how small they may seem, they are special, as special as my memories of you.I will always wish that you had gotten better, though I do love the 2 cats I have now, they could never fill the space you left behind. I am so very grateful for the years we had together, and I would always want to have more. You were so special to me. I found a feather the other day at work, and I know no birds were in there. The feather had your coloring, and I would like to think that you sent it to me. It was on Tuesday that i found it, and I was especially sad that day. Perhaps you were trying to make me feel better. I am not sure how I will feel during my second year without you, I guess I will find out in a couple of weeks. Please harry, send me a special dream of you. I miss you so very much. I will love you always and forever. And you will always be my handsome and special boy. I love you, Har Har. Sending you some hugs and kisses and cuddles. 

Love, mommy
hiker11

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Posts: 1,052
 #111 
So sorry you're having a hard time this week, I know you miss your special baby.

Harry: visit your mommy little one to let her know you are happy and that you are okay x

Kate, Boxer angel Raleigh's mommy x (Boxer angels Morrissey and Boo xx)
brenrae

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 #112 
I would also like to say that I do not expect them to fill his space, but to make their own space in my heart, which they have.
maxsMandD

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Posts: 1,270
 #113 
Harry visit your mom in dream she really misses you. Sending ((Hugs)) your way on this sad day for you. MaxsMandD
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #114 
Har Har,

I remember how a year ago yesterday you were able to come home because the vets thought you was better. I was so happy when my sister came and told me that you were home, and I couldn't wait to get home to give you all the hugs and kisses you could handle. But, unfortunately, you wasn't better, and we had to take you back to the vet's. They gave you some medicine that was supposed to help, and then started the bring you home for the night, when I could, and then having to take you back. It broke my heart to have to take you back each time. It also broke my heart to see you uncomfortable. I cried and prayed every night for God to heal you, but I guess it wasn't in the plan. I also prayed that if it was your time, for Him to take you while you was at home with us. I hated the fact that you spent most of your last 3 weeks at the vet's office. Then on June 5th, we were going to go ahead and have you pts, but the vet called and said you were better, so I went to get you, and again, you wasn't better. I feel like it was a cruel joke on us all. It seems like those times were filled with so much hope and joy, and then they were dashed upon the rocks of reality. I wish that you had gotten better, my dear, sweet boy. During the times you was home, you wouldn't sleep on my bed, I guess maybe you were uncomfortable. I had to make you a place with sheets and blankets on the floor, and I hated that also, I just wanted you to sleep in the bed with me. I think in some ways, you were like my security blanket. With you, I was able to sleep, and I felt that all was well, and anything that came along, we would always be all right. But, now you have been gone almost a year, and I have missed you every single day. I just wanted you to come home, and that never came to be. I love you, Har har, and I always will. You are my sweet, special, and handsome boy, Harry, and no one can ever take your place. Sending you some hugs, kisses, and cuddles on the wind. I love you, always and forever, Love Mommy  
TonkasMom

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Posts: 189
 #115 
Good morning Brenrae! I was looking at Harry's pictures just now. He looks so much like my "heart" cat - Butch. Butch had leopard spots on his belly; couldn't tell if Harry does. Butch had that same golden cast that my grandmother referred to as a "Butterscotch tabby.". I also wanted to tell you how much I enjoy reading your letters to Harry; many times, I find you saying what is in my heart.

I have two cats now and there have been a total of four since Butch died at age 18 in '98. I have loved them all but I know, for me, there will never be another one who can steal my heart as completely as Butch did. I have my Dad's former barn cat, Tippi, and she runs a very close second. She is now a "town girl" and so darn smart. Jet black and petite with dainty paws but she is a very tough girl! Her life was a little rougher at Dad's. She has grown quite used to being spoiled "in the house" as opposed to in a barn fending off raccoons. Dad loved her more than he would admit. Always told his children we "coddled" our pets too much but he was "old school" and he knew she was coming home with me when he left this world.

I am sorry you have lost Harry; sadly, we are always saying "good-bye" to our precious furry friends.

brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #116 
Harry had spots also, they were light, but you could see them when he had his belly up for you to rub. He liked when you did that, at least for a few minutes. Harry was a big boy, with a big heart. He loved people, and he didn't mind other cats coming into the house. He was also possessive of his people, and always determined to get his own way, especially if he wanted to go outside.
brenrae

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 #117 
Harry,

I forgot to tell you that Jean came to visit for a few days. She came on Thursday. It has been nice having her here with me. I wish that you could be here also, then our family would be complete again. I guess you are still here, for I know that you will always live in our hearts. Jean has to leave tomorrow morning, and I hope that you will stay close to her and keep her safe on her journey back to Georgia. I love you, Har Har. Sending you some cuddles, kisses and hugs. I will love you always. 
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #118 
Hi Harry,

I don't know why, but I have been super sad this week. It is almost like I was when I had to let you go on ahead to the bridge. I miss you so much, Harry, and I still feel that you should of gotten better. Perhaps I am sad because this is the last week you was here on earth, and not in heaven. Even though you was still at the vet's. I was able to see you several times a week, and now it has been almost a year since I last got to see you, and pet your soft fur, and hear your robust purr, and your nasally meow, which was always so cute. This is the last week that i could look into your soft eyes, and I knew how much you loved me, and you knew that i loved you. I still love you, Har Har, and I always will. Last year on this date, was when we had decided to let you go, but the doctor called and said that you had peed a little. I was so happy, but they had us leave you there for a few more hours before we brought you home. Yes, it was a cruel trick that somebody played on us. To get our hopes up, just to have them dashed upon the rocks. And it turned out that i had to take you back the next morning, and oh, how my heart broke. All I ever wanted was for you to get better, and be able to come home for good. How is it that fate could be so unkind as to take you away from me? You are my handsome boy, my sweet boy, my special boy, and you always will be. I still wish for you to be back with me, every day, I wish it to be so, but I know that will not happen. I hate the fact that you are not here, and I still feel that it is unfair.I am dreading Friday, I am not sure if i will be able to make it through without breaking down several times. The day we had to let you go is getting so close now. I wish you was here so that i could ask you for a kiss again. Even when you didn't want to, you would always tilt your head towards us so we could kiss the top of your head. You are so very gentle, and I know that you are a favorite up there. How can anyone not love you? You just have a special way about you. I love you, Har Har, and i can't wait to be reunited with you. I hope you have found the others that i have loved through the years and are keeping each other company till we can meet again. Sending you some hugs, kisses, and cuddles. You know another thing I miss, is laying my head on you, and listening to you purr as I drift off to sleep. I doubt that i will ever get over you being gone, but I will try to live my life as best as I can, and then one day, with a smile, I will walk across that bridge and take you in my arms, and give you a big hug and a kiss. Love, mommy
kjgonz

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Posts: 598
 #119 
Sweet Harry, It's been one year since you had to leave. I know this day is going to be so hard for your mom. She loves you so much and misses you every single day. What an incredibly special boy you were! You certainly brought a lot of love and happiness into your Mom's life. You are being remembered today with so much love. You will never be forgotten, sweet boy.

Thinking of you today, Brenda. Hugs to you.

Rosie's mom.
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #120 
Harry,

It has been a year since I had to let you go. I got a balloon for you, your favorite color, hot pink. I don't know why you liked that color, maybe because it was bright. I also wrote you a little note and tied to the end of the balloon, and I let it go. It got stuck in a tree, like the last one did, but I know you can still see it, and I know you know what the note said. Perhaps the trees are special trees, with branches that reach into Heaven. That is what I will choose to believe.  Whimsical, I guess, but perhaps on days like today, we all need some kind of whimsical thoughts to help us get through the day. I am going to try and reflect on your life, and it was a life well lived. It would be better than reflecting on the fact that you are gone. Yes, I know your spirit isn't gone, because I feel you here with me from time to time, and I have caught your scent a few times. But, I am sad that I can no longer pet you, or hold you. I miss all the things you did, even those I found annoying. No, you weren't perfect, but you were perfect for me. You gave us so much love, and that love lives on forever. I will forever be grateful that you were here, and that i got to know you for the great and gentle soul that you are. I miss you Harry, every day, and yes, even though a year has went by, I still cry from losing you and missing you so much. I know some people would think that I should of moved on by now, but how do you really get over losing those that have filled your life with love and laughter. I also know that I am doing better than I did in the beginning, but the sadness is still there. I just live my life, and think of you, and remember that I will see you again. Perhaps some people think it is silly to miss an "animal" for so long, but to those that know them, they are so much more. You, my sweet boy, was more than a "pet", you are family. You was a friend, son, and companion. I will always love you, no matter how much time passes by. You are forever in my heart, and there you will stay. Sending you some love, cuddles, kisses, and hugs, on the wind. Love, Mommy 
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