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brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #161 
Hi Har Har,

Another week without you. They just keep adding up, don't they. I still kiss your picture every night, and I still tell you good night when I go to bed. I still tell you that I will see you later when I go to work. Well, next week will be Thanksgiving, and I hope you get to have plenty of turkey, for I know how much you enjoy it. You wasn't able to eat it here, for it made your tummy upset, but I am sure you can have all that you want now that you are in Heaven. I will be going over to my sister's so that I won't be alone. Laura, she still misses her Harry Berry, and Roy, he misses his buddy. Yes, they were part of your tribe, and you loved them as much as they did you. I am sure that you and Cuddles are getting along now, if not, then I am sure you are still friends, though you and her didn't get along too much down here. You were both alphas, and I think that was the problem, but you were pretty laid back, and gave her her space when she came to stay. Yes, that was how you were. God knew what He was doing when He allowed us to have you. You will always be one of the best cats I ever had the privilege of knowing. You are a blessing, for you gave so much love, and you taught me to be more patient. Yes, that was the kind of boy you were, always patient, and always open to meeting new people, as long as they didn't push themselves on you.I will always be glad that I had you in my life, but I will always wish for more time, though I know that no matter how long you was here, it would never be enough. I love you, my sweet and handsome boy, always and forever. Until we meet again, here is some hugs, cuddles, and kisses on the wind. Love, Mommy
brenrae

Registered:
Posts: 4,647
 #162 
Hi Har Har,

Another week, and another holiday without you here. This will be my second Thanksgiving without you, and my first without Jeannie. Yes, I know I have a lot to be thankful for. I was blessed with having you in my life, and I was blessed with a wonderful daughter. But, sometimes when we are missing those that are not with us any longer, it is hard to remember how blessed we are. Though I know Jeannie is still here, just moved away, it is not like having her here. I can talk to her on the phone, and I do. But, with you, I can not hear your meow anymore, for you are not here on earth anymore. Nor can I see how you would huff when you was aggravated about something. Usually because we held you longer than you wanted us too. We couldn't help that you were so cuddly. You fit just right into our arms. But, we would let you go when we realized you were getting aggravated with us, after your kiss, of course. I miss how I could lay my head on you, and you would just start purring. I guess you can eat all the turkey you want up there. It made you sick down here, but you loved it. I would give you a few bites. I remember how your lips would quiver as you meowed with excitement as I got ready to give you a bite, because you liked the turkey so much. Yes, Thanksgiving will not be the same without my two babies here with me. Last year was at least bearable because Jeannie was still with me. I guess this is just another hurdle in life's road. Getting used to being by yourself on the holidays. Well, later on I will be going over to my sister's for Thanksgiving dinner. It will probably be hard for her also, this is her first one without Cuddles. I hope you are both looking down on us as we go through this day, and our life. One day, we will be together again. I love you, boy-o, and I always will. You will always be my handsome boy. I always called you that. I always told you what a sweet and handsome boy you was, because you was. I love you, and until we meet again, I am sending you some hugs, cuddles and kisses on the wind. Love, Mommy
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #163 
Har Har,

Here it is just a few weeks before Christmas. This will be my second one without you, and my first one without Jeannie here. I am not sure how I will be able to get through. I try to think of what the season means, and, yes, I know that it is about giving. But, I don't really have any Christmas spirit, because I miss my 2 babies, and yes, I know that I can talk to Jeannie on the phone, but it isn't the same as when she was here. I also have your pictures and videos that I can look at, but it isn't the same as being able to touch you, and hear your purr. I wish that you had gotten better, and been able to come home. I know that at 12 years old, you would of only had a few more years, but, that would of been ok. I would still of been sad no matter how many years we had together. I bought Gabby, Sandy, and Jinx some gifts for Christmas. I wish that I could buy some for you again, and put them in a gift bag for you to discover. It was always fun to watch your reaction as you discovered all your treasures. You would get excited and toss them up in the air so you could run and catch them. Yes, you enjoyed your treasures, but I think you enjoyed the gift bag the most.  You would get in it after getting all the paper out, or sometimes you would get the paper out, and make a little cave, and lay there and go to sleep surrounded by that paper. That is one of the things I will miss this holiday season without you I hope that an angel gives you a gift bag full of treasures for your to find. I love you, my handsome boy, always and forever. Until we meet again, here is some hugs, kisses and cuddles sent on the wind. Love, Mommy
brenrae

Registered:
Posts: 4,647
 #164 
Hi Harry,

Another week has gone by since I had to let you go. So many weeks, and so many tears I have cried for you. So many times I have wished for you to be here. But, that is never going to happen. I miss you still as much as I did in the beginning. It seems like you was always with me, and now, here I am without you. I am really dreading Christmas day, for I know that I will be by myself, without you beside me, and with my daughter moved out. I do plan on going to my sister. I know you loved them also. But, it can never be the same, can it? I sent Jeannie her gifts that I had bought for her. I wish I could buy some for you. Some of the toys you had, we gave to the cats here now, but not the special things. hey are for you, and you alone. Though I know you don't need them now, I just can't bear the thought of seeing others using them. I have them all in a safe place. Perhaps that is weird, but I know how possessive you could be about what you considered yours, and that included me. Yes, you was very possessive, but that was part of your charm. I remember how you would always give me a meowrt, when I would say, Harry, and hide, I would have to do it several times, but you would answer, and come to me, with your tail in the air. I miss your head toss as you would meowrt. I miss doing the "I'm going to get you game with you. That was our special game, and noone else would do. Yes, there is so many things I miss. Perhaps we can do them again when my time comes to meet you. I hope you will be there waiting as I cross over. I love you, my sweet, handsome boy. You will always be special to me. Until we meet again, here is some hugs, cuddles, and kisses sent on the wind. I love you always and forever. Love, mommy 
maxsMandD

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Posts: 1,270
 #165 
Brenrae, sorry you are missing Harry so much. I know its so hard at this time of year worst then others, hope you can find a little peace, I was just thinking myself how much our Max loved Xmas too, Ah what a grand reuion it will be at the Bridge when we see our babies again. Harry visit your mom in a dream she misses you so much. ((hugs))  maxsMandD
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #166 
Har Har,

Another week of being without you by my side. You are so very special. It is just a week before Christmas, and though I got the small tree out, I haven't decorated it as of yet. I guess you can see it from there, but somehow, I don't really feel in the Christmas mood. I do thank God for sending Jesus to save us. And I also thank Him for sending you to us. I know that he did, and I will be forever grateful that you was in my life. You was so small and scared when I found you at my friend's house, and you was gasping for air. I don't understand how somebody could let such a small boy like you suffer like that. You always did have breathing problems after that, I think it may of given you asthma in some form. I was also thinking about how mad you would get when we had to move your chair to make room for the big tree. You would sulk for about a week. But, then you found that laying under the tree could be fun, and you enjoyed the presents. If I could have just one present from you, it would be a dream visit, and perhaps you could bring Baby Kitty, and she could serenade us from the bathroom like she always did. Perhaps you could also talk to Cuddles, and have her visit my sister for Christmas. I know she is still missed very much. I miss you so very much, boy-o, and I always wish that you was here still. I always thought you would come back home, but after several weeks, it seemed you wasn't going to get better. I know they say you are in a better place, and have no more pain, and that is good, but I still feel the pain of having to let you walk on a head of me. I know you will be the first to greet me when I am finally called home, but I guess I am still needed here for a while longer. To me, you will always be special. There is no reason why, you just are. I love you, Harry, always and forever. Until we meet again, here is some hugs, cuddles, and kisses on the wind. Love, Mommy   


                         http://harhar.pets-memories.com                Harry's memorial page

Sitka3

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Posts: 373
 #167 
{{{{{{{{{{brenrae}}}}}}}}}}}}
My heart and thoughts are with you. It is so hard to be without our bridgekids on any given day, let alone now during this "festive" season. (I have tears running down my face still from reading your last couple of posts to your special Harry.)
I want to thank you for your comments about my girls. :)
I read a lot more posts now, but have been finding it a little difficult to post much the last few months. Guess I'm afraid all I'd have to say is that my heart breaks w/ each person's pain, and that would get old for folks to read. :D

Wishing you and all here the peace of the season to soothe our hurting hearts.
HUGS!
Thinking of you~Sitka

brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #168 
Harry,

Here it is Christmas day. This is my second one without you and my first without Jean. People say the "firsts" are hard, but it seems the "seconds" are just as hard. If I could have anything for Christmas, it would be to have you here, and Jean. I guess without my 2 babies here, it isn't the same. Jean will be here in January to visit, but I can never have you here again. You are in Heaven now, and I know that though I miss you, and I get sad without you here, you are healthy again, and I am sure you are enjoying all the things you love. But, perhaps you could take some time and come see me in a dream. I remember our first Christmas with you, you was still a baby, and you kept climbing the tree, and it kept falling with you on it, but you was stubborn, and bound and determined to get to the top. I kept putting it back up, and you would try again. I remember when we got this toy mouse for you to play with. I guess you thought it was real, and you growled at it, and attacked it, and carried it around. You wouldn't let the other cats have it, it was your mouse. You looked so cute carrying it, since it was as big as you was, and you had trouble moving it around.Yes, a little gray kitten with a big mouse. I really miss you, boy, every day, and every minute. I wish there had been a miracle for you, but, it wasn't meant to be. I guess God thought it was time for you to come home. My heart still aches without you, and I still have days that I just sit and cry. I guess even knowing you are in a better place, that place isn't here, where I want you to be. Perhaps you could take some time out and visit me this Christmas Day, and perhaps you could bring the others with you. I would really love to have a dream visit from you. I love you, my sweet handsome boy, now and forever. Until we meet again here is some hugs, kisses and cuddles on the wind. Oh, and tell Cuddles to visit my sister. Love you always, Mom 
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #169 
Harry,

Another week without you. I guess I am getting used to you not being here, but I will never get over having to let you go. I know that it was better for you, and I know you are in a better place, and you are healthy now. The other night I was sitting at the computer, and I was looking at your pictures that I have on a cd. The tears started flowing down my face. There is so many times that i just wish for you to be here, in body and spirit. All the years that you was here with me are special years, for I got to know you. You gave so much happiness to all around you, and you brought so much laughter to our lives. Yes, I can still look back and laugh at the things you did, but there is still sadness mixed in the laughter. I always knew that you would leave this earth before me, but still, I was not ready for it. I don't think any of us are really ready for our loved ones to go. It is cold here today, but I know that you are in a nice warm place, and I bet you are spending it outside. Probably just laying under the bushes as you watch all the happenings around you. I love you, my special and handsome boy. You are such a sweet boy, and such a handsome boy. I always told you that, and I could see the love in your eyes as I talked to you. I love you, now and forever. Until we meet again, here is some hugs, cuddles and kisses on the wind. Love, Mommy
maxsMandD

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Posts: 1,270
 #170 
So sorry you are missing Harry, We know its a hard time of year. Yes its sad that they have to leave for the Bridge before we are ready to let them go.The memories of them is what holds us together.  Visit your mom in a dream Harry she misses you. ((hugs))  maxsMandD
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #171 
Har Har, here it is another Thursday, 19 months and 2 days without you. Yes, I still remember what day of the week it was that I had to let you go on a head of me. I still miss you every day, but, I can now laugh at all your little antics. You will always be my special boy, for we had a bond that can never be broken. Jeannie is going to be here today, and stay until Tuesday. I hope you come to see her in her dreams, I believe she will like that. Perhaps you have met Meme. That was her cat she had to let go, I am sure he is up there with you also.  LOL, you are probably telling Meme about the time she forgot you was outside, and you had been out for several hours, and it was getting dark. She didn't remember until I got home and I asked her where you was. You was so happy to finally be in. Then, we could see when it clicked that she had forgotten you. Your ears went back, and you turned your back to her. You wouldn't "talk" to her for days after that, and you had no interest in being outside. I guess you had gotten our fill of it that day, at least for a  while. I tell you one thing, there is nothing like being snubbed by a cat, and you had it down pat, didn't you. I still wish you was here. I bet if you was, you would be mad at Jeannie again, for being gone for so long. Yes, you always liked your family with you. I am glad that I had you with me for 12 years, though I wanted longer. I guess though that things don't always go the way we would want. And no matter what, there is no amount of time that would of been enough for me to have you here. If you had been here for 15, 17, 20 years or more, I would always of wanted more time. I love you, my sweet, handsome boy. To me, you will always be special. I love you, now and forever. Until we meet again, here is some hugs, kisses and cuddles on the wind. Love mommy
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #172 
Har Har, another Thursday is here. Thursday was always my favorite day of the week, for it was the one day I knew I was off. Now, it is the day of the week that I had to let you go on a head of me. I still miss you every day, and I still have days that I cry because you are not here with me. I miss your cattitude, and yes, you had plenty of it. It always made me smile when you would give me that look that said, "Really??? and your an adult???" when I would annoy you in some way. Yes, you was a character, my sweet little rogue. I remember the time you had caught a mouse and hid it under the towel in the bathroom. I found it by almost stepping on it, and I threw it away. You remembered that you had it, and went back for it. It wasn't there, so of course only one thing could of happened, and you went after precious, because you thought she had taken your mouse. Poor girl, she got blamed for something she didn't do.  Yes, you had a temper, and sometimes if we annoyed you too much by cuddling longer than you thought necessary, you would huff at us.  But, you had a lot of patience also. You  always waited patiently for me to be done with whatever I needed to do before we went outside. I believe that was one of your favorite times of the day. I bet you are still doing your perimeter checks up there, aren't you? You had t make sure that all was well in your part of the world.  I remember how your whiskers would get droopy when you was sad. Like the time where you was smelling where baby Kitty used to lay before we had to let her go, and her scent was still there. You had such a sad look on your face, and if your whiskers had drooped any lower, they would of been touching the floor. You was always gentle with our duchess when she was sick, and you always left the biggest part of your canned food for her to eat. Yes, you was a very loving boy. I will always wish that you had either not gotten sick, or just had gotten better. I guess God let you be with me for a few years, perhaps He knew that I needed you, or perhaps you needed me? Maybe it was a bit of both. I will always be grateful that I went down that day, and found you, for you are such a wondrous soul, and I know that I have been made better by knowing you. Until we meet again, here is some hugs, kisses and cuddles sent on the wind. Love, forever and always, mom
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #173 
Hi Harry,

I am upset today, and feel like crying. I can't find your paw print that was put on plaster. I thought that it was with your urn, but it isn't, and now I don't know where it is. I know that it is just an object, but it was in a bag that had some of your hair in it. To me it was part of you. I know that I will always have the memories that you have left me, and those I will never lose. I really thought that I had put it in a safe place so that it wouldn't get broken, and now I can't find it. Please Harry, perhaps you could guide me to where it is at??? I know that you can see me from where you are. You probably saw where I put it. Perhaps a dream visit showing me the way??? Perhaps it may not seem like such a big deal to some, but to me, it is important. I've already lost you, I don't want to lose your paw print too. I love you so very much, and I really miss you. Love, mommy  
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #174 
Harry, I guess you saw my tears, because within a few seconds after posting about losing your paw print, I found it. Thank you, my sweet boy. I am sure that between you and God, I was able to find it. I was crying the whole time that I was writing to you before, and I know you never wanted me to be sad like that. To me, your paw print is a part of you, and it also has some of your fur, some they had cut from you, and some that I had found and put into the bag. Thank you so very much. Love mommy 
EliseT

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Posts: 2,114
 #175 
Dear Brenrae,

I am so happy, that your sweet Harry boy led you to find his paw print! You must be so relieved to have it safe and sound again. Your Har Har sounds like such a character...I love the pictures you have of him, he must have been so much fun at Christmas time. I am sure, he is still doing his perimeter checks around your place...you are so right, they never completely leave us, do they? I walked outside tonight, in another full moon and felt my baby there...I know he is here because he loved this place so much, I feel truly blessed and like you, feel that I have been made a better person, for knowing him. I love, how our babies keep giving us special blessings from above.

Thinking of you and Har Har,

Hugs,

Elise, Buddy's mom
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #176 
Har Har,

It seems you are visiting me tonight, but must you keep knocking down your picture that I have by the computer. I keep it there because I know how much you always wanted to be in the same room as me. I also keep one in my purse to look at from time to time, when I am away from home. This has been one of those weeks that I have been missing you a lot. It seems that it is one of my sad weeks, and I have been crying because I miss you so much. I know that you are better now, and in a better place, and that one day I will see you again, but it doesn't help when I miss you, and I long to have you with me again. Perhaps that is what you are doing, letting me know that you will always be close by when I need you. It seems when I am feeling the saddest, is when you come and let me know that you are near, sometimes by opening the cupboards, like you used to do, and sometimes I feel you jump on the bed, and when I look, there is nothing there. Yes, I guess you are still watching over me. There is so many things that I miss about you. I remember when we gave you the treats that you liked, how gently you would take them from our hand. Then there was the ones that you wanted us to throw for you. I guess you wanted to show us your hunting skills. You would take off like a rocket to get them, and then come back for more. I remember how you would bring me rubber bands, and pieces of paper to throw for you. You was a cat that liked to play fetch. There is only one other cat that we had that would do that, and I am sure you have met him up there. When you was done with the game, you would go and get it, but place it just out of our reach, and lay down on it. I miss you every day, and I will never stop loving you,. You will always be my sweet, handsome boy. Until we meet again, here is some hugs, kisses, and cuddles in the wind. I know they will reach you there. I love you always. Love, Mommy
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #177 
Harry, I was thinking about why you would be knocking your picture down. I bet it was because I was staying up later than normal. You didn't like when I stayed up past a certain time, what you considered to be bedtime, and if I did, you would get into things until I went to bed, or lay on the arm of the couch and keep staring at me. There is nothing like being stared at by a cat. Yes, you expected things at a certain time, and if anything bothered your schedule, you was not a happy boy, was you? I'm sorry I stayed up so late. I did feel you jump on the bed last night after I went to bed. I guess that made you happy, huh? I love you always and forever. Here is some hugs, kisses, and cuddles sent on the wind for you. Love, mommy
brenrae

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 #178 
Hi Harry, Jean told me you came to visit her in a dream. I guess you knew how sad she was, and that she needed you. She told me that she was petting you and cuddling like she used to do with you. You are such a good boy, and a handsome boy. I always told you that, and what a sweet boy you are also. I was also thinking about how you would sometimes sleep with your eyes open. I have been missing you a lot lately. I do every day, but some days are worse than others. I love you always and forever. Until we meet again, here is some hugs, cuddles, and kisses for you. I love you, Mommy.  
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #179 
Hi Harry, Well, we got some snow on Tuesday. It made me remember the time you got stuck out at the bushes behind our house because of the snow. You and I was in the back yard, and I walked out to the bushes to see how deep it was there, and you followed me, staying in my footprints. Once you got out there, you decided to explore a bit, and make sure no other cat was infringing on your territory. I walked back towards the house, and waited for you. A bit later, after you had tried to make you way back yourself, you started meowing pitifully, and I had to go out and rescue you. We went back in the house, and I dried your paws off, because they was wet from the snow. Yes, you did not like the snow much, and usually you didn't go out if there was snow on the ground. I don't know why you chose to do so that day, but you never did again.  It has been cold here this year also, so you would not of been able to have too much outside time, because I never took you out if I thought it was too cold. I always tried to take good care of you, and make sure you had the stuff you needed to keep you healthy, but it seems like I ended up losing you anyways. I try to remember all the happy times when you was here, but sometimes, like now, I remember that you are gone, and it makes me cry. I miss you still, and I always will. I guess I should just think about the times you was here, and all your little things you did that was uniquely yours. I know there can never be another you, and you will always be a part of my heart and soul. I love you, Har Har. I always will. It has been so hard to be without you. There are days that I am doing all right, but then I have those days that I just sit around and cry. I guess you know that though, for I am sure you are still watching over me. I love you, now and forever. Until we meet again, here are some hugs, cuddles, and kisses on the wind. Love, Mommy 
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #180 
Well Harry, Here I am at almost 20 months without you by my side.  The other night, when I was leaving work, I looked up at the sky, and it was a night when the moon looked like it was smiling down on us. I have decided to think that it is you smiling down on me from above, letting me know that you are always there watching over me, and also letting me know that you are happy and well, and that we will be together again, never to be parted. Yes, I still miss you every single day, and I always wish that you had gotten better and was able to come home. That is all that I wanted, but it was not to be. I have been feeling especially sad this week, perhaps it is because the 20 month mark is coming up. Yes, it will be 20 months tomorrow, and I am not sure how I will be. It seems that today is going to be one of those crying days for me. It seems you have been busy letting me know you are here though, opening the cupboard doors and making noise, and jumping on the bed. You will always be my handsome boy. You know, they say everything happens for a reason, but sometimes it is hard to know what that reason may be. I don't know the reason why it had to be your time to go.  I guess that is something I will never know. I never wanted to let you go, and it broke my heart into a million pieces to have to do so. I hope you, Baby Kitty, and Cuddles are having a grand time up there. Perhaps Baby Kitty is serenading you all like she used to do here. You are probably looking at her like she is crazy. I remember how Baby Kitty would sometimes run up to you when you was sleeping and smack you to get you to chase her. And I remember how much you loved to pounce her. There are so many days that I wish we could go back a few years, and all would be like it was with  you, Jeannie, and Baby Kitty. Those were happy times for us, wasn't they, sweet boy. But, we can't go back, but we do have the memories that we can treasure, and I treasure them all. I love you, forever and always. Until we meet a gain, here is some hugs, cuddles, and kisses sent on the wind to you. Love, Mommy
EliseT

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Posts: 2,114
 #181 
Dear brenrae, 

Your letters to sweet Harry are so beautiful and touching. I have taken to sending my boy "kisses on the wind"...that is such a comforting thought. 

Hugs, 

Elise, Buddy's mom
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #182 
Hi Harry, I am writing this early because of the snowstorm we are having. The power has already went out twice, and I am not sure if it will eventually go out and stay out. It has been snowing and icing outside all day, so I stayed home today from work. You would of probably liked that, having me here with you. I know how much you always enjoyed company. I still miss you so very much, my handsome boy. I still cry during the week from being without you. I know that people may think I should be "over it" after 20 months, but there is no getting over losing a precious family member. No, I will never truly get over losing you, though I have learned to live this life without you. But, you are always on my mind. I think about you every day. I still wish that you could still be here. We could of cuddled in bed during this storm. I know how much you enjoyed taking naps on these bad days, especially when I was with you. You would be purring, and it would lull me off to dreamland. You was also my alarm clock, you would let me know when it was time to get up by lightly touching my back, and it seemed like you always knew the spot on my back that was sensitive. You would keep doing it until I finally got up. You also had a set bedtime, and if I went past that time, you would sit on the couch and keep staring at me until I went to bed. Yes, I guess you was the boss. I love you always and forever, my sweet, handsome boy. I always will, and I will never forget you. You will always be part of my heart and soul. Until we meet again, here is some hugs, cuddles, and kisses on the wind. I love you, Har Har. Love, Mommy  
 
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #183 
Hi Har Har,

For some reason this morning, I woke up and started crying because I miss you so much. I guess maybe it is because it is a warm day, and I know how much you would enjoy being outside in the back yard today. Perhaps it is just because I miss having you here. I miss all the little things you would do, from your head toss as you gave a meow of greeting, to the way you would lay next to me, with your head resting on the pillow. I miss how you always had to touch me with some part of your body. I guess it was to show we were connected. I just miss you so much, every day. And though it has been 20 months, the "missing you" is still strong. Though I know we will always be connected by that golden thread, just having you back would be so wonderful. I know you are in a better place, but it doesn't keep me from being sad that you are no longer here with me. Now, spring is just around the corner, so to speak, and I was thinking about how you would love to go out and just sniff the air. I guess you knew that spring was coming, and you enjoyed all the new scents that came with it. They say that God never gives us more than we can handle, but I will never be able to get over having to let you go. Yes, I have come to terms with it, but, still, deep in my heart, there is the sadness that never ends from having to let you go on to the bridge. And, yes, I can laugh now, but there is still the part of me that wants to have you with me. You brought so much into my life with the love you gave. You were always patient, even when you would get aggravated, you never bit, or clawed. I do remember all the things you would do, and those things can bring a smile to my face. You are, and will always be my sweet, handsome boy. I guess today is going to be one of those bad days, it would seem. But, I guess that they will always come, sometimes a lot, and sometimes not as much. I never expected to have to let you go, I expected you to get better and come back home. I guess though that perhaps God had another job for you in heaven. Perhaps there is a reason He called you home. But, I still needed you here with me. But, they say there is a reason and a season, but that does not help when I am missing you. I am thankful that you did send Gabby, Sandy, and Jinx to me. I guess you sent them to keep me company during my journey through life. I am sure you had a paw in it somehow. You always knew how much love that I had, and you may have thought these ones could use some of it. I will always be thankful that God sent us to find you that day. I just wish you had not been taken to heaven so soon. I guess 12 years may not seem like such a little amount of time, but I wanted so much more, but then, I would always want more time with you.  This is the song that I have been thinking about when I think of you. My heart will go on, by Celine Dion, for I feel that no matter what, you will always live on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGTm8UfWHAM


I love you, Harry, forever and always. Here is some kisses, hugs, and cuddles sent to you on the wind. Until we meet again, you will live forever tucked safely in my heart. Love, mommy

 
MarleyBarley

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Posts: 685
 #184 
Your letter to Harry is so beautiful. The love is so apparent and I know it will continue on forever. I love the song
Teresa
Marleys mom
Forever and a day
maxsMandD

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Posts: 1,270
 #185 
You write to Harrry in such a sweet way I'm sorry I missed Harry's 20 months at the Bridge I know he would be having a grand party.Max would have been there he liked kitties and parties.  Visit your mom in a dream Harry your mom misses you so much. ((hugs))   maxsMandD
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #186 
Hi Har Har,

Well, I have to say that this has been one of my sad weeks. I guess it is because I still miss you so much. Today, while I was sitting on the couch, I thought I felt you jump up on it. Sandy was sitting on the arm, but the other two were in the bedroom, so I believe that it was you come to visit. I wish you would do that more, but I am sure that you are keeping watch over me from where you are. You will always be a part of me. My sweet, special boy. That is what you are. I always called you a handsome boy, because you was. I bet that you are having some fun up there. We have had some nice days here, perhaps that is why I have felt sad. I know how much you would of enjoyed going out on these days. Today was cold though, so it would of been a good nap day with you cuddling next to me. We had a bad storm Monday night, and it scared all the cats, and they hid, except for Sandy, but, like you, he needed reassurance to know that all would be well. I remember how when we had these bad thunderstorms, you always watched to see how I reacted, and if I was ok, so was you. I remember how when it rained, I would hold you in my arms, and we would step out on the front porch to watch it for a bit. Not when it was storming though, just a nice rain. You was always interested in what was going on, you had to investigate everything. You also had to try and "help" when things were being done, like when I was hooking up the computer, and the tv. Yes, you was a lot of help as you laid on everything that I needed, or put your head in front of me to see better what was going on. I guess you wanted to be part of the action. I was also thinking about how you would just run around the house, with a crook at the end of your tail  when you was feeling energetic. I always enjoyed watching you do that. You had so much fun. I miss that so much, my handsome boy. You would just run around and jump on the furniture. I guess it was your way of letting off extra energy. I also miss Baby Kitty singing in the bathroom. I hope you and her and Cuddles are having a grand time up there. One day, we will all be together again. I love you forever and always. Until we meet again, here is some hugs, cuddles and kisses on the wind. Love Mommy
EliseT

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Posts: 2,114
 #187 
Another beautiful letter to sweet Har Har from his loving mom. As Theresa wrote in her recent post about heaven, it is closer than we think, and our babies are not far, they are around us, they are close by, all the time. We just have to trust our hearts and grasp this truth.

Hugs,

Elise, Buddy's mom
maxsMandD

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Posts: 1,270
 #188 
Harry your mom is missing you so much you need to send her a dream visit tonight. Sweet dreams Brenrae our baby's are only a heartbeat away.   ((hugs))  maxsMandD
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #189 
Harry,

The other Morning, it was Tuesday morning, I dreamed about a double rainbow, and when i saw it in my dream, my first thought was that you was sending me a message from where you was. I know that seeing the double rainbow in my dream brought me happiness, and peace as I gazed at it. It never diminished any in my dream, but was there for a long time. I do hope this was a message from you to me, perhaps you was visiting me. It was the morning after the big storm that we had here. I love you always and forever. here is some hugs, kisses and cuddles sent to you on the wind. Love, mommy



I want to thank everyone that has read my letters to harry, and either responded, or not. i appreciate each and every one of you.
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #190 
Hi Harry,

Well, here we are, another week gone by. Tomorrow you will have been at the bridge for 21 months. I never thought I would make it this far. Today I have been feeling sad, I think it is because of what tomorrow is. I think of you every day, and every day I wish you was still here. I wish you had never gotten sick. I still wish you was still here. But, having you in my life has been a blessing. There can never be another you, for the mold they used to make you has been stored away in a special place for those that are just one of a kind. It is supposed to rain today, and I know how it would make your joints hurt. I thank you for sending me the 3 cats i have now to keep me company. LOL, I guess it takes 3 to make 1 you. They have all helped to ease the pain in their own way, but the pain still remains. I don't think that we ever really get over the loss of losing such an important family member. We just learn to go through life without them by our side. I know you are still here in spirit, and you let your presence be felt from time to time. Thank you for sending me signs and dreams from time to time. Sometimes I feel you touch me like you always did. You always had to be touching me somehow, either with your paw or back. I guess you wanted to stay in contact. I love you, Har Har, always and forever. Here is some hugs, cuddles, and kisses sent on the wind. love, mommy 
maxsMandD

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Posts: 1,270
 #191 
Happy 21 months Harry. Hope you had a fun day celebrating with all your friends at the Bridge. Our babies are with us each day in our hearts and memories. Each one of them touches our hearts differently because they all have a different personality.  ((hugs)) to you Brenrae   maxsMandD
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #192 
Well, Har Har,

Here we are, another week has gone by. I have lost count of the weeks, for they are so many. I still miss you as much as I did in the beginning, and I still have those days that I just sit and cry. Tuesday was one of those days. It was such a beautiful day. A perfect day for us to spend outside. All the robins are coming back now, and it seems they have found my back yard. I saw 5 today in the yard, and they just kept watching me as I was doing the clothes. Perhaps you are using them as a messenger to let me know that you are thinking of me. yes, I cried all day Tuesday as I sat and stared at the television. I guess I will never really get over having to let you go. But, I do have the good days too. I don't know why there are some days that are bad days. I guess having to let you go was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Today is a cold day, and windy. i know how much you hated to go outside on those windy days, but they were good nap days. We would just lay on the bed, and I would be petting you, and I would lay my head on you, and you would be purring up a storm. i always loved to listen to your purr. It always lulled me to sleep. I guess your purr was my lullaby. That is something that I miss. There is so many times that I wish that I could turn back the clock to a time when you was still healthy, before you got the thyroid problem or diabetes. I just wish that we could of had a few more years together. I have been thinking about something that my sister said after she brought over the cat food and litter she still had after Cuddles went to the bridge. I do hope you and Cuddles are getting along up there. But, my sister said that she felt like she was losing her baby all over again by bringing the stuff over here. I felt the same way when i took your stuff over to her. The cat food and litter that we still had, It was like I was losing you all over again. Perhaps it is more that without the cat food and litter, it becomes more real and permanent. Yes, i knew you wasn't coming back, but I wasn't ready to let you go. I guess that truthfully, I'm still not ready. Though I have come to terms with it, can one truly let go? In letting go, does that mean they are lost from you completely?  Perhaps that is why I can't let go. I never want to lose you completely. I love you Harry, always and forever. Until we meet again, here is some hugs, cuddles and kisses sent on the wind. Love Mommy
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #193 
Har Har,

Another Thursday has come, and I find myself thinking about you and all the things you did that was unique to you. Doing so, I find the tears streaming down my face. i miss you still, my sweet boy. I know that I always will. Today, I sat outside with Gabby and Sandy while they enjoyed the backyard, and it made me think of all the times we would be out there, just wandering around, and enjoying the sun and fresh air. I miss doing that with you. It looks like it is going to be a nice day here. I guess that where you are now, it is always nice. The type of weather that you enjoy. There has been so many times that i wish that you had gotten better and been able to come back home. I should be grateful for the time that we had, and I am, but I would always want more. We had a lot of good years, with love and joy, and laughter. I remember how insulted you would get if you thought we were laughing at you, and your ears would go back, and you would sit so that you could look at us out of the corner of your eye, but you would ignore us when we talked to you. But, if we gave you the special treats that you loved, all was well again. Yep, we said that your love could be bought with just a few treats, but we knew it wasn't so. It was our little joke. You always loved us, no matter how annoyed you might be with us for some imagined indignity. I remember the first time you gave us the cat's silent treatment. You wasn't even a year old yet. We had gone to  to Sea World up near Cleveland, and were gone for a day and a half. When we got back, you had a vet appointment, so had to be stuffed in a carrier. Unfortunately, on the way back home from the vet's office, you had an accident, and I had to bathe you. I guess that was the last straw. You sat with your back towards me, and when I said your name, your ear would turn towards my voice, but you refused to look at me. Yes, you were sulking. But, you never sulked for long, and soon all was right between us again. Today is the first day of spring, and it is hard to know that this will be my second spring without you. Perhaps you can take some time to come and visit in a dream. I would love that. I love you, my sweet and handsome boy. I will love you always and forever. Until we meet again here is some hugs, cuddles, and kisses sent on the wind. 
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #194 
[1948243_373709572769160_1796280125_n] 

Harry, I read this poem, and thought it was beautiful. I am hoping that you find me worthy, for I love you so very much, and I would not be able to stand not being with you again for the rest of eternity. I don't believe you will turn me away, for you know how much I love you. I miss you still, and I know that I always will. I know that you are with the others that have went on to the bridge also. I hope that you all have good stories to tell of me, and good memories. Harry, I still wish that you had gotten better, and been able to come home to me. That is all that I ever wanted, but I guess we don't always get what we want. I prayed every night for you to be able to come home. I guess though, that you are better now, and have no pain. You are young again, and what me could I wish for. I have seen you in my mind's eye so many times, that I have lost count.  Today is another nice day, now that spring is hare. I will probably have to mow soon. I know how much you didn't like the mower, but I kept you in until I got it done, that way the grass wouldn't be too tall for you to walk in. It seems like only yesterday, and yet forever since I last got to see and hold you. I just wish so much that you had never gotten sick. I know that we may have only had a few more years, and I would never want to let you go. I know that things change, but I wish that they could always be good changes, not the kind that breaks your heart in two. But, I am glad that I have so many wonderful memories of you. They can always bring a smile to my face, as I remember all your antics. Yes, knowing you was worth all the pain that I felt when you had to leave me. Perhaps I should try to think about the fact that you are in a good place now, with no pain or sickness, and you can play and explore outside all that you want. You are with Baby Kitty, and Callie, and all those that went before you. But, sometimes it is hard to think about that when I miss you, and I am still sad that you are no longer here where I can see you. You remember Becky? She may be having to let Demon go to the bridge soon. He is getting blind in both eyes, and not eating like he used to. I hope that you will show him around, though I knew you weren't friends, and Demon would bark and chase you. Good thing he didn't get over the fence, huh? But, I do think you two could be friends there. Perhaps introduce him to the other dogs there. I love you, my sweet, handsome boy, always and forever. Here is some hugs, cuddles, and kisses sent to you on the wind. Love, Mommy 
LeeLeesMama

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Posts: 2,800
 #195 
Brenrae, I love the poem you posted - I too hope that I am found worthy....

Hugs and prayers...
Melanie
~Mama to The Lee Lee~ 
ourbrandy

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Posts: 1,000
 #196 
I always love the letters you write to your dear Harry and I just love this poem.  I hope that I am worthy too and will be with my little Brandy for eternity.

Thanks for sharing....

Barb (Angel Brandy's and now Miriam's mom)
~together always~
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #197 
Thank you Melanie and Barb for reading my letters to Harry. I feel he can hear what my heart has to say to him.
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #198 
Har Har,

Well, today has been a nice day. Lots of sun, and a gentle breeze. I know how much you would of enjoyed going outside for a bit. I know how much that you always loved the sun, and you would roll around until your belly faced up, just to get some on your belly. You always looked so content doing that. It is supposed to storm tomorrow, and I know that you hated storms. I believe that as a kitten, you got caught in the flood that they had before you came to me. You was so afraid of water, and, if I had to give you a bathe for any reason, you would hyperventilate. I ever gave you one very often, because you kept yourself clean. But, if you had an accident from when I had to take you to the vet, I would have to. I think you also felt when a storm was coming, for you would get grumpy. Perhaps it made your bones ache? I can't believe it has been so many months now since you was last in my arms. I miss you still. I always will. You are my special boy. Here in another month you will be 14, but I guess you don't age now where you are. I know that you are young again, and no pain or illness. I always wanted what was best for you, and though it broke my heart to do so, I had to let you go. I am one of the lucky ones, for having known a love that can only come from a fur angel. I would do it all over again, even knowing how much pain and loneliness that comes from losing you. I love and miss you so much my boy. I try every day to remember how you lived your life, rather than think about how I had to let you go. You lived your life to the fullest, and no one was a stranger, for you liked every one. I guess there was some people that you didn't like, and I believe that you sensed something in them that wasn't nice. Some more than others. I remember how when my neighbor would bring her niece over, you was so gentle with her, not biting or scratching, even when she annoyed you.  You was and are such a gentle soul. I miss cuddling with you when I would be laying on the bed. I miss your purr, and your meow. I miss everything about you. I love you, always and forever. here is some hugs, cuddles, and kisses on the wind. love, Mommy
brenrae

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Posts: 4,647
 #199 
Harry, Well, here we are, another week gone by. It is coming up fast to your two year anniversary at the bridge. I know that it is also Baby Kitty's also, so maybe you two will have the celebration together. I never imagined that I would have to be without you, but here I am. Today I mowed the front yard. If you was still here, you would of been enjoying some time in the back yard.  I know how much you would of loved laying in the sun, and letting it warm your belly. My heart still aches with the pain of having to let you go. But, within that pain, there is some rays of light, for I got to know you, and the pain is worth that. I would do it all over again, even knowing how it would go. Having known you is worth it all.  It seems that with these warm days, I am just missing you so much. Perhaps it is because I know how much you enjoyed the warmth of the sun, and going outside to see what was happening. I love you so much, Har Har. I always will. I am trying to work on something special for your two year anniversary. I hope that I can get it done the way that I want. It is slow going, but, I will do my best to honor the way you lived your life, and try not to dwell on how you spent your last days. I know that you would want it that way. Sometimes it is so very hard though. This place that I am at has been sold, so I don't know what the future holds for us. I do know that if I have to leave here, then Gabby, Sandy, and Jinx will go with me. Perhaps you can have a paw in helping us some how, for I feel that you somehow led them to me, or me to them. I love you, my sweet boy, always and forever. Here is some hugs, cuddles, and kisses on the wind. love, mommy 
LeeLeesMama

Registered:
Posts: 2,800
 #200 
Brenrae,
Sending you a hug tonight...I know it must be hard for you thinking about Harry's two year anniversary - I admire your plans to honor your sweet boy's life - I know it will be beautiful.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...I hope that everything works out good for you and your three kitties and your place - I'm sure Harry is keeping a watch over you all.  
Wishing you peace...
Lee Lee's Mama
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