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diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #161 
Keith, Don't feel bad about sharing that memory, You need to talk about how you are feeling. I want to hear how you are doing just like I want to hear everyone's good and bad moments. It is all apart of healing and I am hear to help in anyway I can. Sometimes that is just listening. I often hear little noises that Brandy used to make and then I look around for her. It is funny that for a moment I forget she is gone. Everyone have a great weekend and keep remembering good memories, even if it is only for a moment. Love to all of you Diane
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #162 
Good Afternoon Friends, 

This week will be 3 mos (on the 18th) since my precious Rosie crossed to the Rainbow Bridge.  I am very sad.  I miss her so much!  She is keeping in touch with me though feathers.  I found another one this morning on my walk with LuLu.  Yesterday, one that I had in my overhead visor fell onto my lap...where my precious used to sit for so many miles.  Today I am crying because the heat has dropped off and this would be a perfect walking day for Rosie.  To My Sweet Rosie; I love and miss you very much.  I have you tucked away deep in my heart where you will never be forgotten.  I saw a squirrel and remembered how much you liked to chase them.  LuLu and KitKat are taking good care of me but I so wish you were still here with me; only healthy.  Mama loves you very much.  I will have a good cry and then let it go because I know you are in a good place and I can't wait to see you again.  Love, Mama

Jackie
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #163 
The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this — the last battle — can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.

We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close — we two — these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

Unknown - for my Rose
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 322
 #164 
Oh Jackie,
You are feeling the same way I am today. I've been crying and talking to Termy all day. Like you I miss him so very much. I have read that poem so many times and It says it all but it doesn't stop the pain and tears. I know our Rosie and Termy is in a much better place, free from suffering and healthy again. Today I said to Termy that I wish I had died that day in September to. I guess this is a wave of grief that hit us both hard. I am sending you my love and prayers and hoping to marrow will be a better day.
Love
Bonnie Always Termy's mom

I hope you, Keith are okay and you too Diane
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #165 
Jackie, your poem touched me deep in my heart. It brought back that day in Feb. for me, the feelings are so strong. I miss Brandy so much, I am trying to think of a happy memory but all I see in my mind is that terrible day. I would give anything to have her back but I know that is not possible. I pray things will get better for all of us but there are days I don't see that happening for me. Thank you Jackie and Bonnie for your well wishes. I have found true friends even though I have never met you. I pray we all have better days. Love Diane
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #166 
Hi Bonnie, 

A piece of me died when Rosie did.  I am so sorry you are sad today but I just cried and cried .... that deep deep well of sadness.  

I read some other threads on here and about the only thing I'm relieved about is that there are alot of people who ran over their pets, or let them run loose and they were hit by a car, or had those stupid retractable leashes and their hands full of coffee cups and cell phones and the dog ran out in the street..because they couldn't control the leash...and they saw a van run over their dog right in front of them.  Stories like that...even those people say they are an accident...I could never forgive myself.  My KitKat is an indoor cat and I never take LuLu out without a leash.

How sad for those folks where their furbabie's death could have been prevented.

Cry your eyes out.  I did.  Now I feel a little better.  

Keith and Diane, I hope you are doing okay.

Much love, 

Jackie

Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 101
 #167 
Diane,
Yes Diane you are so right I have thousands of great memories of B but the one I recall the most is the night before and the morn I took her to the vet. I can't stand the thought of that time period. I really didn't think it would be her last night. God had I known I would a stayed up all night holding that little angel.
In the fall I have a lot more opportunity to work and keep my mind busy. I won't have another fri night or Saturday off til after Thanksgiving maybe that is for the best. I have convinced myself that I am getting over this but then I come home and her loss really hits me so hard. I have lost a very large part of my heart that really I don't want anybody or pet to ever touch. See thru two marriages and a son I havent spoken to in several years there was very little if any love. That little fur ball loved me unconditionally and i love her the same way. As I say we are best buddies. But when one of the buddies is gone life really changes. I don't like this change. I don't think I will ever find that kind of love again. Anyway friends thanks for always being here and please stay positive.
Keith.
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 322
 #168 
Jackie,
I know exactly how you feel. A piece of me died with Termy. I am sorry you were having a tough go of it too. I did cry my eyes out and talked to Termy. Today I feel better. I think it's the weekends that get me down. I think of Termy everyday, all day but the weekends is when we spent more time together and it bothers me more.
I read that post too and it was a tragic accident that could have been helped, had the owner been more attentive to her pets. I see it all the time people walking their dogs, cell phone in their ear and not paying attention. Unforntently the dog paid the price. Hopefully she will be much more careful from now on. It's a guilt I wouldn't want to live with. I couldn't respond to her.

Keith,
I know you feel so alone with out Miss B. Not having any family to rely on really sucks. My daughter is like your son, she knows me when she needs money. I don't hear from her for months but that's okay I've learned to live with it. It's her loss not mine. I haven't spoke to my parents for almost 4 years, their choice not mine. It's just wonderful how they love us and really never ask for anything in return.Miss B is your Heart Dog, your soul mate in fur and no other can fill those paws. Termy was my Heart Dog too. They say we are lucky to have one Heart Dog and some are luckier and have had two. I know Termy was my one and only. You try to stay positive too and think of Miss B sending her love to wrap around you as you think of her.

Diane,
I first read that poem over 18 years ago and it touched my heart so deeply. Another one that means a lot to me "I here". I think it's on this site on the poem tab. It made me cry 18 years ago and made me cry yesterday. I don't think the four of us will ever heal completely but maybe with the support of each other we can at least live our new normal.
Thank you all for being my friends and being there for me. You are truly wonderful.
Love
Bonnie (always termy's mom)
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 101
 #169 
Hey,
Bonnie exactly I have lost a piece of my heart ,to me a big part. I have really lost interest in most things I used to enjoy. I really never ever would have imagined B's death would have done this to me. I was getting tired of my job but now i couldn't care less if I lost it td. Anyway yes i have lost a big part of my heart and it can't be recovered so the days just keep passing and the pain never lessens. Anyway thanks guys. Keith
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #170 
Hello to my dear friends Keith, Bonnie and Diane, 

I too grew up in a household without any love.  All my family is dead.  I've been through three marriages, two serious relationships and have two grown son and daughter who haven't spoken to me in 2 years.  I raised them alone after their dad left us for another woman.  I make few friends and always seem to attract the takers.  Seattle is an overwhelming place for me but I don't know where to go.  So yes, I have a sad story too.  Maybe that is why we have been brought together from all corners of the U.S. 

However, I now have a new member to my family.  I named her Blossom.  She is a tiny little kitty that is supposedly a year old and has spent her entire life in shelters.  Only 6 lbs and a light gray tabby.  They ship alot of furbabies here because I guess they get adopted sooner.  Anyways, Blossom (her name was Cindy) was adopted once only to be returned because they said she was too shy.  Well Blossom, you have a forever home with me.

What is both wonderful and sad is that I looked around the corner this morning and I saw Rosie sitting there on the floor like she used to do!  My God, I couldn't believe it.  I think Rosie wanted me to be a mama to this poor little cat.  I can never replace my sweet Princess but maybe I can give another loving creature a home. 

Your friend, 
Jackie  (I'm crying as I type this).
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #171 
Jackie, I am so happy for you and I know in my heart that Rosie is sending you her blessing. Our babies want us to move forward and share our love. They know first hand the love we can give and they want us to share it. Keith, I am wishing I could help you. Miss B would not want you to feel this bad, she would want you to find something to enjoy. Do you have a rescue group in your area that you could volunteer at. Maybe helping other animals will help you feel better. Our stories are similar when it comes to family. I got divorced after 30 years and I could never have children. I have been living on my own for 10 years and Brandy helped me go through all of that. We all have our ways of coping and trying to get on with our lives. We still have very bad days but hopefully a few good days. Please Jackie, Bonnie and Keith be well and take care. Love Diane
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 101
 #172 
Hey yall, Well its been awhile but needed to check back in. Jackie i would tell you to move down here but if you dont care for the heat this is no place to live. Maybe you could move to the northeast and just make a new start,i mean maybe New Hampshire or Vermont but not any of the big cities. I bet blossom sure is happy you found her i great loving home and no more shelters. Yall will both be good for each of you. Bonnie, I will look into working at a shelter,anywhere i dont have to work with people anymore. Im just starting to look at doing things when i retire but thats not for another 3 to 4 years. Its funny i think i thought Miss B would be around when i retire. I would occasionally ask her what do you want to do later in life and she would just look at me as if to say shed be happy whatever we did. ive just been noticing the shorter days and i hate the thought of winter without my girl. She would get under the covers and heat that bed up for both of us. i still have her little coat with the fur collar on it that she would get so excited when i picked it up. Well i better go before o go to far down memory lane. good night ladies. Keith
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 322
 #173 
Keith,
I am so glad that you are thinking of the future. I know how hard it is to move on. I try everyday but everyday I think of my loss. I see the day and think Termy would have loved it. I see the evening settle and think I would love to have shared it with Termy. It sounds as if you and I are about the same age. I have four more years to work and I never thought I would look forward to retiring but now I say to myself, just four more years. I too have a hard time with people, most are idiots and don't get me started on the younger generation. Have you thought about getting counseling? You sound a lot like me and I sought out professional help. I still can't talk about Termy with out choking up and I would love to be able to really talk about him. Termy's one year Bridge day is coming up and I know I'll be a basket case so I am hoping that getting help will be better for me. We'll see. I did reply back the other day when you posted 6 days ago but not sure what happened to it. Sorry.

Jackie,
I am so very happy that you are sharing your heart with a fur baby. You seeing Rosie sitting there looking at you is a sure sign that she approves. Blossom will never replace Rosie because Rosie was your Heart Dog but I feel Blossom can help you move forward and start a different journey. Rosie will always be at your side and will forever love you. I wish I was younger, I would adopt another too. Termy was my last. I wish you could find a place to live that wouldn't over whelm you and you could find peace and happiness some place else. Erie, Pa is nice if you like the change in seasons. The winter sucks but there are days that I like to watch it snow. Termy and I had a thing when it snowed and it was big fluffy flakes with no wind and it was night time we would walk in the "perfect snow". I miss that. I am sending you my love and support.

Diane,
I know the feeling about Brandy being your life line. It's wonderful that they are there to help us and guide and support us and when that is gone (the physical) we seem to be lost and pine for that again. We really miss the emotional support that our babies give us. I know when I had Termy to turn to I could face what ever life threw at me, now I feel so alone and lost. My family is very dis functional too and I have very little contact with them. I guess we all have that in common maybe that's why our Brandy, Miss B, Rosie and Termy brought us together. I'd like to think so.

You all are wonderful and I love that we are here for each other. Thanks for being you and being my friend.
Love,
Bonnie (always Termy's mom)
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 101
 #174 
Hello,
Diane I two woke up this morning missing my baby. I hate this crap I hate that Miss B is gone. God I love that little girl. She just made my days feel better. I havent had a lot of good days since you left me baby girl. There's nothing I can do to have you back and I can't stand this. I want to see her again I know I'm nuts that im a person that goes to work every day and im supposed to be so serious all the time. All the while my heart is broken because all I want to do is hold a little miniature dachsund again. I hate this so much if I don't go to work all the time or stay busy somehow I'll go truly nuts. I'm sorry I'm so negative today guys but I've read y'alls memories withRosie,Termy and Brandy. I'm just mad everyone else seems to have forgotten B. I'm mad I can't bring her back yes that really pisses me off. I'm sorry I'm just mad for all of us and there's nothing I can do to help. Sorry Keith.
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #175 
Keith, do not apologize. That is why we are here for each other, sometimes we just need to vent about the pain we are feeling. You need to find something to give your heart a little break. I spend alot of time feeding the birds and squirrels. I need to feel like I am helping animals. Brandy loved to watch the birds and squirrels. When she was younger she would chase the squirrels but as she got older she was happy just watching them. It gives me the feeling that she is watching with me. Find something that gives you a little joy. Miss B would approve. Your friend Diane
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 101
 #176 
Hey,
I just wanted to make it clear when I said everyone e has forgotten B that I meant around here not ya'll. I'm still just so frustrated I mean they train us to "handle anything" and the worst problem I have there is absolutely nothing I can do anything about. I am just so frustrated and pissed. If a 16 year old family member died people would still be saying how sorry they are. Well my 16 year d family member did die Miss B. But no one says anything about her anymore. Well I'll be damn if I'm gonna let her spirit die. She wasn't just a blankety blank dog. She was special and i for one will not let my family or anyone else for that matter forget it. Thank you.
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #177 
Good Evening Keith, Bonnie and Diane,

Keith, yes it is said that many people think "she was just a dog" but she was your daughter.  Just like my furbabies are my kids.  Speaking of "kids", my 40 year old daughter's cat died.  The cat had renal failure and been sick for a long time.  She texted me and we texted back and forth some (this is the estranged one).  Well, I wanted to drop a tree off (a Monkey tree) at her house and she told me to stay off her property!  So, I returned the tree, now have a $40 Mud Bay card and sc**ew.  Sorry, but I think more of the love from my babies than from her.  Good thing, I had therapy today.  I don't know Keith.  I think maybe as a law enforcement officer you are taught to be tough and toughen up.  Well, that don't work when your child dies.  Miss B loves you so much; she doesn't want you to suffer.

Bonnie, I feel your pain.  It's been over three months now for Rosie and I still cry on pretty much a daily basis...but not for as long.  Was Termy short for the terminator?  Just think, if it wasn't for our furbabies we never would have met!

Diane, I know you lost Brandy shortly before I lost Rosie.  It's funny, when you talk about her I can picture her running and her ears flapping in the wind!  Go Brandy Go!

Blossom is definitely blossoming.  Such a dear, sweet, little cat.  We are still going through the adjustment phase but things are progressing.

Love to you all from Smokey Smokey Seattle,

Jackie (Blossom's, KitKat and LuLu's mama)
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #178 
Good Evening Keith, Bonnie and Diane,

Keith, yes it is said that many people think "she was just a dog" but she was your daughter.  Just like my furbabies are my kids.  Speaking of "kids", my 40 year old daughter's cat died.  The cat had renal failure and been sick for a long time.  She texted me and we texted back and forth some (this is the estranged one).  Well, I wanted to drop a tree off (a Monkey tree) at her house and she told me to stay off her property!  So, I returned the tree, now have a $40 Mud Bay card and sc**ew.  Sorry, but I think more of the love from my babies than from her.  Good thing, I had therapy today.  I don't know Keith.  I think maybe as a law enforcement officer you are taught to be tough and toughen up.  Well, that don't work when your child dies.  Miss B loves you so much; she doesn't want you to suffer.

Bonnie, I feel your pain.  It's been over three months now for Rosie and I still cry on pretty much a daily basis...but not for as long.  Was Termy short for the terminator?  Just think, if it wasn't for our furbabies we never would have met!

Diane, I know you lost Brandy shortly before I lost Rosie.  It's funny, when you talk about her I can picture her running and her ears flapping in the wind!  Go Brandy Go!

Blossom is definitely blossoming.  Such a dear, sweet, little cat.  We are still going through the adjustment phase but things are progressing.

Love to you all from Smokey Smokey Seattle,

Jackie (Blossom's, KitKat and LuLu's mama)
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 322
 #179 
Good afternoon, my friends.
Jackie: yes Termy is short for Terminator. We named him Terminator when we first got him because the rabbits in the yard were bigger than he was so my husband thought he needed a tough name. So we settled on Terminator. It was really funny when we went to vets and the tech would come out and call Terminator, everyone including the tech would always think a Rot or a pit and everyone got a good laugh when I stood up with Termy (all 13 pounds). I agree with all of you, No one knows or understands the pain and loss we feel. It's life changing. I only talk to you guys and Nicole about Termy and also my counselor about my pain. I still can't really talk about Termy with out tears. I am like you, Jackie. I still cry everyday and we probably always will. We all suffered a deep loss and our hearts will never be healed. There are so many things that we shared with Rosie, Miss B and Brandy that just living from day to day reminds us of what we lost and no one to understand or shares our love for our babies with. We would truly be alone if we hadn't found each other to help out and understand. Keith, you don't have to be tough just because you are a guy and are in law enforcement. We girls know you have a big heart and it hurts the same as ours. Miss B gave you so much love and she would want you to try to be happy, After all she spent her life time making you happy and making memories with you to help you carry on after she went the Bridge. I know it's hard but try to remember one good thing with every heart ache you feel. You can always come here and we girls will always listen. We are in this together.
Peace to all of you.
Bonnie (always Termy's mom)
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 101
 #180 
Hey ladies,
Your right bonnie we are in this together I came to spite shortly after Miss B passed. I was hoping if one person read about her I would have told her story. You should have seen how high jumped when her story was read. I think it was by you Bonnie.i was like yes someone else has read about the B'ster. I hope we are keeping Termy's,Rosie's and of course Brandy's memory alive. I love hearing about them,it gives me a lot of joy and I need it after nights like last night(SOB'S) had me running all night at a high school football game. I can come here and and read about long walks or squirrels being chased. Maybe a walk in the snow in Eerie or a big Bassett hound resting while the rest of the dogs wore themselves out on Rochester. Maybe along walk among the leaves on Seattle. Geez I need that. Keep telling these stories ladies it reminds me there are real people out there. Thank you. Your humble friend for life Keith
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #181 
Hi Keith, 

I am glad me and Bonnie and Diane can give you some comfort.  When I adopted Blossom and saw Rosie sitting around the corner before she got so sick, I knew she was giving me her stamp of approval on this scrawny little cat from McAllen Texas who is so loving and sleeps with me at night.  I am so sorry for your pain.  I know what it's like to have no one except your furbaby.  It breaks my heart.  Whatever you need, we "ladies" will try to help because we are helping each other.

Another day in "Beijing China".  It is raining and smokey.  I am going to busy myself with my apartment and do a couple things later.

Keith, you are showing what a "real man" shows; empathy, compassion and unconditional love.  Do not feel bad about that.  

Your friend in "Beijing" Seattle, 

Jackie


JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #182 
Hi Keith, 

I am glad me and Bonnie and Diane can give you some comfort.  When I adopted Blossom and saw Rosie sitting around the corner before she got so sick, I knew she was giving me her stamp of approval on this scrawny little cat from McAllen Texas who is so loving and sleeps with me at night.  I am so sorry for your pain.  I know what it's like to have no one except your furbaby.  It breaks my heart.  Whatever you need, we "ladies" will try to help because we are helping each other.

Another day in "Beijing China".  It is raining and smokey.  I am going to busy myself with my apartment and do a couple things later.

Keith, you are showing what a "real man" shows; empathy, compassion and unconditional love.  Do not feel bad about that.  

Your friend in "Beijing" Seattle, 

Jackie


diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #183 
Hello to all my friends Jackie, Bonnie and Keith. It sounds like you are having better days. Keith I am glad you are sounding a little better today. Bonnie I love your story about Termy, I can just picture the vets office when they called Terminator. Jackie you are showing a little bit of humor with Beijing, Seattle. I am very happy things are going well with Blossom. I know we will never have our heart babies again but there are so many that need our love. I am spending alot more time with Pearl my cat and I think she knows I need to hug her a little more, and believe me she was never a huggy cat. She has started meeting me at the door when I come home and it makes my heart so glad. I love having you all as my friends. I will always be here for all of you and Thank you so much for being here for me. Have a good night and God bless Diane
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #184 
Hello Everyone, 

I know this sounds weird but tonight I am going to a psychic that can "supposedly" talk to dead people.  I asked if he could take to dogs!  He said maybe.  All my family is dead, my father, mother, brother, sister but after discussing with LuLu I decided what the heck!

So I venture on to the spiritual realm tonight...

I had to give KitKat (my 10 year old matronly; i.e. overweight cat) a time out today in the bedroom because she was bullying Blossom (my one year old skinny 1/3 the size of KitKat.)  I was fair but KitKat came out with a totally grumpy cat expression and walked right by Blossom with a swish of her tail.  Love to you all Keith, Bonnie and Diane.

Jackie...in just right Seattle today!
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 101
 #185 
Jackie,
Let us know what the psychic says. Sounds like Kitkat might be a little jealous of Blossom. That does sound funny though. Anyway sounds like your doing better today hope it continues. Diane, Bonnie hope ya'll are doing as good as Jackie sounds. Well just wanted to drop a line and see how everyone is doing. Hope everyone has a great labor day weekend (we deserve it). And Jackie tell Blossom to watch that tail swishing. Love you gals Keith

Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 101
 #186 
Hello ladies,
I've had some free time at work today so I've read every post on here from the very 1st one. Geez why did I do that it made me think about the day Miss B died. Then looking at her pics it has really made me realize how much I love and miss her. Now days are starting to get shorter and I havent done winter without her yet and I'm not sure how I an do it without her. I hate winter and I'm gonna be in trouble without the B'ster. I miss that little girl so much how do I face the fact that she isn't coming back. I'm worried about her is she scared is she happy is she lonely. I'm worried about her she's not very big and I've always protected her. Who's protecting her now? I always worry about her. KEITH
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #187 
Hi Keith, 

I feel your pain.  I'm having a bad meltdown over my sweet Rosie.  I miss her so much!  The new cat is a diversion but it doesn't take away from the loss of my sweet little baby.  I tell myself that she is in a much better place (I have to believe that) and that with all the heat and smoke this summer, I don't think she would have made it.  My poor little LuLu.  The cats not getting along is starting to wear on me.  It's been 3 1/2 months since Rosie died.  God I wish I could hold her one last time but I can only do that in my memories.  So Keith, I'm right there with you.  It hurts bad today.

Your friend,  Jackie

diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #188 
To all my friends, I have been having a bad time for the last few days. I miss Brandy so much and I keep crying. I seem to have lost any improvement I was making. I spend my days missing her so much, I want to hug her and give her a belly rub. She loved her belly rubs so much. I miss her on the bed in the morning, waking up with her and she would be so happy that the day was starting. I am so glad you all are here, if you knew me you would know I am a private person. I would never tell anyone I see all the time how I am feeling. I feel they wouldn't understand, they would just think I should get over it. That is why I am so glad you are here because you do understand. Thank you for listening and being my friends. Diane
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #189 
Keith, Diane and Bonnie, 

Keith and Diane, I am so sorry you are having a bad day.  I am too.  I rearranged my balcony and put Rosie's rose where it could get some sunlight.  I haven't been good about watering lately so it has one droopy rose...but it smells so sweet!  I'm glad we're all here for each other because I couldn't do this without you guys.  My heart is still so broken I don't think it will ever mend completely but I know Rosie would want me happy.  Not having a job sucks too but hopefully I will be working shortly.  There are days where I want to just give up.

Your friend, 

Jackie

Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 101
 #190 
Jackie,
No ma'am no giving up allowed. Diane hasn't I haven't so you can't. Although many many days o feel the same way. It really should be easier now but the pain just stays and stays. Yes I am so glad ya'll are here or I would have given up myself. So Jayng in there Jackie And you too Diane and yes of course Bonnie your In for the long run also. Life has changed for us all and I for one hate it,but just keep chugging along friends. Thank you all,Keith.


JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #191 
Hello Friends, 

I feel this is the ONLY place I can talk to you about Rosie, because you all understand.  I don't know whether it's the beginning of the change of seasons and another month goes by..my baby has been gone all summer.

I totally lost it this morning.  I had some pics of Rose and other stuff from her on my refrigerator.  The cats went at it and Blossom was on top of the fridge and all of Rosie's stuff got knocked to the floor.  I totally lost it; picking up pictures of my baby in better days.  I cried and cried.  I don't blame the cats and I'm not giving up on Blossom but I really miss my Rosie today and every day.  

I hope you all are doing better than I am.  I cleaned my apartment this week and am taking LuLu for a walk.  I don't feel bad crying in front of her or KitKat anymore.  When it comes, it comes.

Your friend in Seattle, 
Jackie

cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 322
 #192 
Dearest friends,
I posted yesterday but I see it's not there. I didn't think I wrote anything that wasn't allowed.

As I said yesterday, the three of you are going through a newer grief period than I am. I am the oldster here, but I still hurt the same. Trust me when I say it does get better but the sadness and lonliness remains. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of Termy and wish him back. I know that this will never happen but what keeps me going and supporting others is knowing that Brandy's, Rosies's and Miss B's spirit will always be with us. They will never truly abandon us. Their spirits are always surrounding us, guiding us and loving us. There will be many downs for awhile but then there will be times that you will remember and smile. You will never forget the love you shared. They are looking down on us and feel our pain and only wish for us to be happy.

Jackie,
Water Rosie's rose and cherish it. Every time it blooms, It's Rosie sending you a message that she is near and loves you. I do hope you find a job that you will love and make you feel fulfilled. You will always miss the little things that you shared with Rosie but these are the memories that you made with her to help you through the darkest days. Give yourself time and cry when you need to. Try to find your happy place, maybe it's only smelling Rosie's rose, or watching the clouds roll by or the sound of birds at night when they go to bed.

Keith,
I know you feel as if your world has stopped and you are alone but you are never alone. Miss B is always by your side. You need to believe this. She is safe and love by the angels at the Bridge and isn't afraid. I know you feel no one could take care of her as you did and your right but God wouldn't have made such a perfect creature and a place for them to go if they weren't loved and cherished until we join them one day.

Diane,
I know missing Brandy is hard and the belly rubs are bitter sweet. Grieve with us, we are here for you.I don't let anyone see me cry anymore because they all feel that it's been almost a year and I should be "over" it. I'm not and never will be. Termy was my Heart Dog, my rock  and my deepest love. Brandy is with you and feels you sadness.

Hang in there my friends, I am here for all of you. I may need you and your support on September 18th. I have a feeling it will be a very sad and dark day for me. I am hoping that releasing a balloon with a note to Termy will help. It will be Termy's one year Bridge day. Oh, my sweet sweet Termy
Love and peace
Bonnie
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #193 
Bonnie, Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. You are right we will never be totally over it but I must believe things will get better. I know I am at the point when I do have good moments and I try to build on that every day. Some days I fail but I keep trying. A few years ago I had an accident and I had a brain injury. It left me with really bad balance so I tend to fall down alot. Before when I would fall Brandy would rush over to see if I was all right, last night I fell and I just cried because she was not there. It's funny because before I would fall and she would make me laugh, kissing me and laying down next to me until I got up. Thank you for listening. To Keith, Bonnie and Jackie thank you so much for being here and I pray things are going well for you. Your friend Diane
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #194 
Thank you Bonnie, 

There is a big void in my life without my Rose.  I know it will never be fully whole again.  I did not know the human spirit could grieve so much for a little four-legged white dog that was my little soulmate, travel companion, and with me through some very dark, dark times.  I will always be grateful for Rosie because she gave me a reason to live when I didn't want to.  I hope you all can make it through the day.

Your friend, Jackie

Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 101
 #195 
Bonnie, I to have written in the past day or so apparantly the censors didn't like it. To everyone I am like ya'll I show no more grief when around people. I guess they feel it's time for me to be over losing B. I only talk about her to ya'll so thank everyone for being here. Bonnie,Diane and Jackie you are all very much needed. Bonnie of course we will be here on Termy's cross over day. Thank you all,Keith.
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #196 
Good Morning Everyone, 

Bonnie, I will pray for Termy, Miss B., Brandy and Rosie as on the 18th of this month it will be four months since Rosie passed.  You guys are my TRUE friends even though we've never met.

God bless you all and hugs, 

Jackie

diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #197 
Bonnie, you are in my prayers and my thoughts. I understand the 18th will be difficult for you and I will be here for you. Jackie you are also in my thoughts. I understand the 18th will be hard for you too so I will be saying extra prayers that day. Keith always feel free to show your grief here. We know exactly what you are feeling because we are living with it. Your friend always Diane
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 101
 #198 
Well I guess my last post didn't cut the mustard since it never appeared. Just wanted to say hello and hope everyone is doing good. Jackie didn't you go to a psychic? How was it did he say anything about Rosie? Diane how are you doing. Are the leaves changing up? Did Brandy like the cooler weather? Bonnie we're thinking about you with THE date c I'll ming up. I got a call from the vet yesterday reminding me that Miss B had her yearly check up next week. That was a hard one. Anyway getting ready for the hurricane so need to go. Everyone ha e a good day.
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #199 
Keith, stay safe in the hurricane. The leaves have not started changing yet. yes Brandy loved the fall, it was her favorite time of year. She always loved jumping in the pile of leaves. Bonnie and Jackie, I know the date is getting close but you are still in my prayers. I pray for your day to be  a little easier. Keith I hope your days have gotten a little better. You guys are always in my thoughts Love Diane
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 322
 #200 
Diane, Keith and Jackie,
I know we all our feeling our loss and we grieve for Termy, Miss B, Brandy and Rosie but they brought us together to help support each other and to share our memories of the most important little beings to ever enter our lives. Here we never forget because we are friends.
I wrote a little poem that I am going to put on Termy's balloon when I honor his cross over day on the 18th. I think it says a lot and maybe by sharing with you, you too can smile.

When I walk the paths you and I shared, I don't walk alone.
Even though I can't see you beside me, I know you are there.
I feel you in the wind as you caress my face,
I hear you in the Russel of the leaves as they move to your touch.
I sense you, your presence all around me, for you never really left me.
You are still there and every where,
sending your love and guiding me still, as I walk the paths
I once shared with you, alone but never alone

Please let me know what you think
Your friend and Termy's mom
Bonnie
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