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cosesmom

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Posts: 322
 #281 
Hello all,
My goodness it's been really quite here on our post. I hope all is well with the four of you. I also hope I haven't offended anyone and you all are just busy. I miss your replies and posts. I am doing okay. I still miss Termy with all my heart and I guess I always will. I am hoping that Miss B, Brandy, Rosie and K Cat have sent you messages, even if you all don't realize that they did. Our babies are safe and taken care of. Please if you get time let me know how all of you are doing. I worry
Your friend in Pa
Bonnie (forever Termy's mom)
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #282 
Good morning to all my friends, Bonnie you could never offend me. I have tried to stay busy, it helps with missing Brandy. She would always love to snuggle in bed when it got cold outside. Keith you are right about her belly in the snow, she was easy to follow. She didn't mind the snow at all. She would just plow through it to find a good smell. Then she would just stick her whole head in the snow and come up snorting. Jackie I hope everything is going good for you. Karmacat you are right, coming here was my saving grace. I hope Thanksgiving preparations are going well for everyone. I am kinda dreading it because I have people coming over and I will have to wear a smile when all I will be thinking how much I miss Brandy. She liked to sit near by just in case someone dropped something. She never got in the way or really begged. She just thought it was her job to clean the floor. I love hearing from all of you, you make me cry and laugh at all your stories. cold but no snow yet in NH   Diane
JackieTeller

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Posts: 81
 #283 
To My Dear Friends Keith, Diane, Bonnie

I am in a really low point and have been for several days.  The job hunt has been extremely stressful.  I have spent the last two days in bed.  I talked to my son and THAT was extremely stressful as he fell into the old pattern of "telling me what to do".  I was exhausted.  I am 63 years old and my only saving grace is I don't look it.  He's saying start a business, start a business.  I wanted to scream.  But I kept my cool and it took it's toll on me emotionally, physically and mentally.

You guys are my only friends (besides my therapist) that I feel I can tell these things to.  I still miss Rosie so so much.  It is coming up on the 6 month mark on the 18th.  I do not want to call it an anniversary.  I totally understand what you mean about Termy, Bonnie.  I depended on Rosie for so much and now that she's not here it's not the same.  I love LuLu and KitKat and Blossom but Rosie was so special for me.  I was taking her collar on walks with LuLu and I but I want to stop doing that because I can still smell her scent on the collar and some of her hair is still on it.  I don't want to lose that by constantly having it in the elements.  Oh Rose, I so miss you.  You were my rock.  I am lost.

I am trying my best to make the best of things but I am really wore down.  My SAD has set in and it's not good.  

I have a second interview with a job I applied for, which if they offer it to me, I would start work tomorrow.  That also stresses me out.  It's hurry hurry and then wait wait.  I am not really qualified (it is in the medical field) but I have to go to the interview.  I need a job.  The rent here is killing me and I don't see how I can make it through this lease.  $1900 a month for a one bedroom apartment is outrageous.

So wish me luck.  Karma Cat I hope you are doing okay.  I don't mean to leave you out but Keith, Bonnie and Diane have been there for me since Rosie died.  Please don't take offense.  I am just really depressed and anxious today.

One Day At A Time, 

Your friend, 

Jackie

Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 100
 #284 
Hey, Diane I feel the same way I've been so busy lately I havent let myself think about losing B. But now things are slowing down and she has been on my mine so much lately. I dread Thanksgiving as i dread winter its been cold and raining here for days and I am so depressed. I guess I'll make it i really dont have a choice but these short days are killing me. Jackie are you ok havent heard from you in awhile. Hope your doing good. Bonnie ,Kcat hope yall are good as well. Hey everyone please stay in touch I really need to hear from all of you.
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #285 
Jackie. I feel so bad for you, I wish I could help. Please know I am here and will listen to all you have to say. I'm sorry things are not working out with your son. Family can be such a pain but we need them. I know because mostly my family drives me crazy but I love them. I can understand about Rosie's collar. The other day my mother was complaining about my car because Brandy's hair is on the back seat but I can't bring myself to clean it. I still have her stairs in the back seat because that is how she got in and out of the car and that is where they will stay. Keith I understand about the short days and the weather gloom and the lonely holidays coming up. I realize the dark day of the month is coming up for all of us so please stay strong. Love to all of you Diane
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 100
 #286 
Jackie,ok Seattle apparently is not the place for you. Ah maybe Aheville is. It's certainly cheaper you should give it a try. Don't let your kids get to you like that what do they know. Remember you only have to answer to Jackie (and maybe Rosie). Take a trip maybe go to New Hampshire for a few days. Sorry did you hear that Diane. Who knows maybe ya'll could help each other. Anyway dont let life get you to far down then you just have that much further to get back up. And Jackie you will get back up. Diane,Bonnie and k cat we do all need each other. Preying for you Jackie my true friend.
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #287 
Keith and Diane.....

Thank you so much for your support from the bottom of my heart!

Jackie

JackieTeller

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Posts: 81
 #288 
Hello to my dear friends Keith, Bonnie and Diane.  Karma C..are you still there?  

I just had to stop what I was doing and share this.  For the last several days I've been in a funk..for alot of reasons.  Anyways, my apt. was looking messy (which is not like me at all!) I'm spending too much time in bed, my son, etc, Rosie's upcoming 6 month passing.  

Four or so days ago, when all this began, I took Rosie's and LuLu's outfits and put them in the wash.  I knew I needed to go through their clothes as the weather changes but I put it off in dread of looking at Rosie's outfits.  She had two in particular, one with Squirrel Patrol on it and one with a sad-looking Reindeer.  Those were hers.  

So today I decided I needed to clean things up.  I pulled those outfits out of the dryer and totally lost it.  I'm crying about it now.  I realized I had put off finishing that laundry and ALOT of other necessary things because I didn't want to deal with Rosie's clothes.  So I'm having a good vent here and yes, I was able to put away Squirrel Patrol and Sad Reindeer.

I even have the blanket she died it.  I know it sounds morbid.  She wants me to move on but it is so hard!

Your friend in Seattle...where my flowers are still blooming!
Jackie
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 100
 #289 
Jackie, I feel the same way I miss B so much. I have a comforter on the bed where B laid her last night i am very protective of it. Jackie you are not alone so remember we all probably have items we cherish from the past. I hope your gonna feel better. Hey Diane,Bonnie hope ya'll are doi nbn g good in the cold and snow. KEITH
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #290 
Jackie, I have a few things of Brandy's that I will never part with. I understand what you are saying and I think you are brave washing her clothes. I did wash the blankets that I used to cover her  with on cold nights but somethings I have left right where she used them, like her bed and her stairs. Yes Keith we are getting snow tonight. I used to love the first snow fall because Brandy would be so silly but now it is just another day. Bonnie I hope you are doing ok. All of you stay safe and I pray you all have a happy moment about anything, we all need a little break. Diane
Karmacat

Registered:
Posts: 40
 #291 
Hi friends, so sorry for the silence. No special reason for it except mainly, I had nothing much new to share.

I felt sad to read about everyone's continuing struggles with grieving. Going through it myself, it is the worst emotional pain I have experienced in my 62 years on earth, and certainly the longest lasting one by far. For the love and care you have given your pooches, Rosie for Jackie, Brandy for Diane and Miss B for Keith, it doesn't seem right to have to suffer like that - after giving them a good life, and perhaps even a good death. But I now know that this happens in many cases.

In my case, I purposely avoided keeping any real momentos of K cat, to try to avoid the tsunami of grief I suspected was coming. But evidently it didn't really work anyway. The little basket where she often liked to lay in, and where she spent her last days, I had cremated with her too, and I didn't keep her ashes either. This strategy doesn't seem to have panned out.

Actually 2017 was a really bad year for me. Early in the year, a community cat C that I often interacted with had kidney failure and in spite of quite some efforts by various people, she had to be put down after several weeks of valiant struggle. That already brought me to tears, which was already a portent of things to come. Shortly after, another sad skinny stray with serious respiratory problems (which they named S) was rescued and I helped to get her accepted by a no kill shelter here. But just as it seemed she was safe, she passed away within a week or two on going into the shelter. And then late in the year, I had my own K cat's death.

But as I approach the one year anniversary of K cat's RB day, I feel like the pain is finally subsiding a little. The frequency, intensity and duration of the tears is definitely lessening. I am in tears as I write this, and still tear up often if I think about K cat, don't get me wrong. But perhaps I am finally turning the corner for real this time.

Jackie, I don't think I would cope well with being in a similar situation. Having job and financial stresses on top of everything has got to be really really tough. Only thing to do is keep plodding forward and just see how the road turns. Being of a similar age, I can empathise that starting some business is going to be difficult. But that is not meant to discourage you in any way if you decided to go that way.

I guess the winter season is going to make things more challenging for you guys. I live in the tropics, where we don't have the four seasons so we don't have to deal with this. I have been reading about the wild fires in California and aside from the human toll, I always think about how many animals, tame and wild, must have perished horribly in those flames, and many more will do so in the coming days. It is a really disturbing thought which tends to leave me feeling overwhelmed and helpless.

JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #292 
To My Dear Friends Keith, Bonnie, Diane and Karma Cat

Today is six months ago my sweet baby Rosie crossed the rainbow bridge.  I am very sad today.  We had our first frost last night and I know how much Rosie would love all the delicious smells.  I hope someday I can remember her without crying so much.

Your friend, Jackie

Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 100
 #293 
Dear Jackie, im sorry i let this day slip by without a note to you. I know how hard Mis B's 6 month day was. I know how hard her year will be. i am already dreading that day. i hope i never stop crying over B she would want me to stop but the best is will get is several days apart. i know how rough it is for you by yourself in Seattle,but you still have Lulu and i bet she would love for you to give her a big hug right now. Remember she lost Rosie to. Diane,Bonnieand kcat i hope all you are doing well. Diane look around at some of the local shelters surely there is a Bassett hound in there looking out the window at the snow waiting for you to drive up. Try it,it couldnt hurt. love Keith
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 100
 #294 
Diane, I'm sorry I just realized that it sounded bad when I said that it couldn't hurt. I meant it to say maybe there is a Bassett Hound just waiting for you. Well Bonnie, Jackie and Kcat I hope ya'll have a great Thanksgiving. Jackie I hope your doing better dont let anybody take away from from your holiday. Well everyone I hope you have a great Thanksgiving. Another holiday without our babies.
Karmacat

Registered:
Posts: 40
 #295 
Hello friends. I went to the community library today to borrow a couple of books. As I walked through the grounds where Karma cat used to live before I adopted her, I couldn't help but tear up again. I still miss her so much, and have again teared up daily through the last few days. So I guess I'm not quite out of the woods yet.

The intensity and duration of each 😢 episode has lessened compared to before though. Wish all of you a happy Thanksgiving on Thursday. Most of us do not celebrate it here in my country, and it's just another normal working day for most. Take care everyone and be well.
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #296 
Keith, you don't need to say your sorry, I totally got what you were saying. Sad to say there are no basset hounds around here to adopt. The closest to me is New Jersey. I was checking out petfinder the other day and there was a cute one in SC and I thought of you. I don't know if I am ready, I am afraid I will compare any dog to Brandy and that is not fair to the dog. So for now I will be happy just looking. Tomorrow is a bad day for me, it will be 9 months. I'm hoping I will get through the day.   Karmacat, it is so good to hear from you and I am sorry for your bad times. I am beginning to think it will never go away for any of us.   Jackie and Bonnie, you are always in my thoughts. I truly hope you all have a good Thanksgiving and have a few moments of peace. Love Diane
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #297 
Hello and Happy pre-Thanksgiving to my dear friends Keith, Bonnie, Diane and KarmaCat,

Diane - You are especially in my thoughts today.  It is very sad and emotional to remember milestone days of our furbabies' passings.  Please know that Brandy is alive and well and waiting for you.  Your love for her will never die and she knows that.  I have to continually tell myself that Rosie would not want me to be so sad.  It is hard to do.  She wants me to take care of myself and the other children.  I still cry though.

Bonnie - I am so sorry about the situation with your spouse.  I can relate immensely.  Having been married three times, I have no desire to make it a fourth.  I do not want to go through the pain and misery again.  I understand how Termy was such a big part of your life; as Rosie was for me.  She fulfilled many of my needs and was ALWAYS there for me.  

Keith - You are a dear friend.  I know Miss B. is looking down on you with angel wings on her back.  She says, daddy, I love you very much and I am happy and free from my pain.  I will wait for you.  Please don't be sad; you were wonderful to me during my time with you.

KarmaCat - I know it is hard but try to remember the good things about your special kitty.  Going to the library where she used to be would be very hard and I can understand the tears flowing...as mine frequently do.

I miss my baby EVERYDAY.  But Rosie is telling me that I have to move on and take care of LuLu, KitKat, and Blossom.  I tell Rosie I don't want to move on but I know I must.  I have been taking care of a neighbor's dog and it makes me so sad to see that poor dog (he's a lab/great dane...I think) shut up in a small apartment all day.  However, I can't focus on it too much or I want to be the caretaker for him and quite frankly, right now I only have so much to give.

Well, I finally got a job.  I start Dec. 3rd.  It is an accounting job in Bellevue, decent pay, good benefits and not stressful from what I can tell.  It is the job I wanted.  So Keith, it might be awhile before I make it to the Carolinas but I will someday. I need to keep busy or I tend to dwell on things that make me sad.  

You all are very special to me and I sincerely mean that.  I hope to meet you all sometime in the near future.  Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  I will attend a church potluck I really didn't want to go to.  I have discovered though that when I want to isolate, I need to put myself out there.  I'm bringing pie and also watching my neighbor's dog..R.J. overnight.  He is such a sweet dog but BIG!  

Love to you all,

Jackie in cloudy Seattle but my flowers are still blooming.
Karmacat

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Posts: 40
 #298 
Congrats Jackie on getting the new job! I am very happy for you and it's also cheering to hear some good news - yay!!!
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #299 
Jackie, I am so happy for you and I need to say thank you. As you know today is a very dark day for me but when I read about your job I had a moment of happiness. I need to hear about some happy news.It makes my day go alittle easier. So thank you again for helping me. Enjoy your church potluck and I am proud of you realizing you need to around people. Someday I hope to get to that point. Love Diane   snowing like crazy in New Hampshire
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 322
 #300 
To all my friends,
Well, so far this year we have had over 14" of snow and I only had to shovel Darla a path in the yard once. It's just spitting snow today with a high of 27. Going to enjoy a turkey dinner that I am fixing and I have a nap planned for afterwards.
This is my second Thanksgiving without Termy and let me tell you, it still tugs at your heart. I miss him.

Jackie, I am really happy that you got a job. Rosie does want you to be happy because that was their mission in life. To give us memories that make us smile (and some times cry) but all wrapped up in happiness. Wow, December 3rd! that's a special day for me too. I used a vacation day to go and see that spiritualist again. I am totally pumped, because I know Termy will come through for me like he did before. While I am there I will think of you and send you comfort and support. Keep, looking forward and smell those roses. Thank you for understanding my situation at home.

Keith,
How are things down there where it is a bit warmer than here? I realize that this is your first Thanksgiving with out Miss B and I am sending you my love and understanding. It's hard, the Firsts but the second isn't much easier. Try to remember those other Thanksgivings and smile knowing you shared your day with Miss B.

Diane,
It's hard to remember those events in life we shared with our babies. It does get easier as time goes on but there will always be times when you just have to give into your sadness. I did this morning, I cried hard and I haven't done that for a while. Keith is right. Just take a look around and who knows there maybe forces at work guided by paws of love. I know you might think or say, Brandy used to do that or I wish she or he would do this or that because Brandy did but that will pass as you open your heart to more love from a different set of paws. I did for a while with Darla and then I said to myself she can never be Termy but she has her own personality and her own kind of love to share and it's been good. Not the same but good.

K Cat,
i hope you are well and doing better. I know what you mean. Walking by or seeing things that bring back memories that bring up sadness. For a long time it was hard to walk by this certain tree in the park because it was where Termy left his last message to others that stroll by but now I can look at it and smile. Some sadness remains even after all this time. Hang in there. We are here for you. always.

All of you, take care.
Love
Bonnie (in cold but dry Pa)

Karmacat

Registered:
Posts: 40
 #301 
Hello dear friends. Well I'm back to tearing up daily again, so it's just more of the same at the moment.

When Karma cat passed, something happened to me. I wonder whether any of you have had a similar experience. I have become hyper sensitive to any hint of cats (and dogs) who are sick, are in the final stages of life or have passed on. I recently fed a stray cat and teared up and became quite upset when I noticed it had a lump on the side of it's face. The thought that it might have some terrible illness like cancer made me really sad. On another occasion, I noticed another beautiful tuxedo community cat had suddenly disappeared and the thought that something bad had happened to it also brought me to tears and still bothers me till today. Sometimes when I play with my remaining cat Botti, I am also brought to tears knowing that one day, she will get old, perhaps get sick and then pass on. I shudder to think I might have to put her to sleep some day, and yet I am determined to do the necessary if the need arises. These thoughts just spontaneously arise and fills me with great sadness and apprehension.

I can't read about animals in distress or suffering without being deeply affected. And often, when I read about some happy story about a stray being adopted, it also drives me to tears. I feel like any emotional armour plating I had enjoyed previously has been totally destroyed and ripped up by Karma cat's passing. Every little thing about animals in pain seems to hit me hard, and I have morphed into some kind of crying machine. And to think I seldom cried prior to this, and even conceived of myself as being somewhat cold and unemotional. Now it's like there's a big open wound in my heart and every little thing just gets through to me.

I had turned vegetarian about 8 years ago, and am trying to go vegan as well now. I read somewhere that something like 165 million animals are killed everyday to feed the world's human population. I scarcely dare to think about this terrible slaughter that goes on everyday otherwise I may just become a total basket case! The whole situation just seems very very wrong. Life and the world situation just seems very unsatisfactory, and yet I am too fragile and lazy to tackle the problems.

Sometimes I really wonder whether I am really broken down and depressed finally, or perhaps I'm really old now. I have a sense that perhaps my reactions now are certainly not normal. I went through a period about 12 years ago of being really down, after I had to close down my little business. The reasons were all about me, my disappointments with how little I had achieved, my bruised ego etc. But this is quite different now, because the pain I experience now is all about the suffering of animals in the world, even those pets who have loving homes and owners. And of course, about the fate of Karma cat, who I only had for 4+ years.

All the sadness and disappointments I have had in the past seem trite and minor now though. The passing of Karma cat seems overwhelmingly so much more difficult to come to terms with compared to them. It's the closest I have come yet to feeling unconditional love for anything and frankly, I'm not too sure that I'm thankful for the experience. Dec 8 will be the 1 year anniversary of K cat's passing. I guess it will likely be another day of mourning but I am somehow looking forward to it...

Sorry about posting such depressing thoughts. I resisted venting about these things because I didn't want to further darken everyone's mood. But this forum has really helped because no one around me here can really understand what I am going through, except you brothers and sisters in pain that I have found here. Again, please accept my apologies for this depressing post.
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 100
 #302 
Hey Everybody. Well one more holiday down. I have been looking around a lot today at Miss B's stuff. Just her stuff her bed ,her comforter, even the area in the yard where she went to the bathroom the last time. when she went to the bathroom the last time her uncle Mark had just got home from work. Even as weak as she was she tried to wag her tail because she was so happy to see him. God i miss my little buddy. she actually bossed me around a lot,I mean she had a way of getting what she wanted. Now i have the new girl Annie who has grown on me but she is no Miss B. i miss her so much. I dont even mention her anymore because like i said before everyone else has moved on. But how could they she was such a big part of their lives. its like she never lived at all to them. K cat you are right i feel the same i never really thought i could miss a pet so much but since her passing i am much more atone to the suffering of animals. Well moving on I hope everyone had a good thanksgiving. Jackie i really hope you had a good one maybe you took Lulu for along walk. You know she misses Rosie also. Bonnie i hope you didnt work to hard on Thanksgiving dinner. Then that nap sounded great i hope you got to take it in peace and quit. !4 inches of snow geez we havent had a total of 14 inches of snow the last 20 years. Diane i hope you had a good day. Brandy would want you to be happy. you friends i had never thought about it before B's death but i bet our pets really did understand more about us than we thought. I mean they really do know when we are happy or sad and now they probably really know when we are hurting. at leasyt i hope they do and i hope they are all waiting for us on the other side because i really do want to see Miss B again. Thank you friends MISS B'S DAD Keith.
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 322
 #303 
Hello my friends,
Well tonight our area is suppose to get six to 12 inches of snow. The good news is by Sunday it'll 52 degrees so it'll melt. That's good because I have an appointment again with the same spiritual reader on Monday. I am so excited to see if Termy has any messages for me. Last time I went it made believe that our loved ones are in Heaven because of what she told me. I miss spending time with Termy in the winter. I took his little sister out tonight and she chickened out on me and wanted to go back home. It was still forty with just a little bit of sprinkles. I guess she's just a fair weather walker and if I leave her at home she whines the whole time I'm gone . Termy and I walked for blocks. I guess I'll be shoveling paths tomarrow night for Darla's calls of nature. Ugh!

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving, considering. I had a little break down and cried for my loss. I thought after getting past the first with outs I would be okay but I was wrong. It wasn't as bad as my first with out but the second hurt too. Maybe it's because I didn't have him to eat my pie crusts like he did for 16 years. I did write him a note on my post and it did make me feel better.

Keith, What kind of pooch is Annie? She will never be Miss B just as Darla will never be Termy. But I have opened my heart to her. I feel you, I don't talk to hardly anyone about Termy either. You have to have the kind of loss that we experienced to be able to understand. Kinda like the fight hubby and I had when he threw it in my face that I love my dead dog more than him. Sadly, he probably is right. At least Termy got me and loved me for me just as Miss B did for you. I guess that is why we all bonded. We need each other. And yes you will see Miss B again. I tell Termy every night when I talk to him that I am one day closer to being with him.

Diane and Jackie I hope all is well with you both. Write when you can. We would like to hear from you.
Love from Pa
Bonnie
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 100
 #304 
Hello everyone, I hope everyone is ok it's been to quit. Diane are you ok I guess ya'll are about snowed in by now. I know you miss Brandy in the snow but remember there might be a Bassett out there that would love to walk on the snow with you. Jackie are you ok? Maybe the new job has worn you out. I hope your still taking Lulu for her walks. Remember she still needs your attention to. Bonnie well Annie is really a mutt. She was do e on her luck about to go to the pound when we were brought together. I hope things are going well for you. What did your spiritual reader say? Karmacat how atr things in your part of the world? I'm sure there are many animals waiting for some like you to rescue them. Well friends just wanted to see who everyone is. Love to all from the chilly but snow free south. keith
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #305 
Hi Keith and Diane, Bonnie and Karmacat 

Well, I had to jump through some hoops but I am starting work on Monday.  Thank you God!  I had a dream last night and I was in South Carolina!  

I am so grateful for this job.  It has been so stressful.  I have been sick the past couple of days but am feeling better knowing I will be working.  

This may sound weird but I believe Rosie had a hand in all of this.  LuLu is such a wonderful, giving little dog and I did feel bad not giving her my full attention.  She is almost 10 so I asked Rosie how she felt and she wanted me to let her go with love and love LuLu.  I felt this message to my soul.  Rosie has been so worried about me and the children.  I know she hasn't been happy on the other side seeing me grieve so much.  So, with Rosie's permission, I am accepting LuLu for the wonderful little dog she is and I know Rosie is relieved.  I still dearly miss my little Rose and always will; but I know I need to move forward and I feel I have Rosie's permission to do so.  

Love to you all, 
Jackie 
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #306 
Hello to everyone, Keith I am so glad you found a fur baby that needs you. I know you will love Annie and she will love you back. Jackie I am very happy for you, good luck on your new job. You will be in my thoughts on Monday. It is wonderful about you opening your heart to Lulu. Bonnie I hope you are ok and things are going well for you. Karmacat I hope you are doing well also. I know in my heart that Miss B, Rosie, Termy and K cat are looking down at you all and loving you all. I also know Brandy is with me everyday helping me to move forward. She is steering me towards a really needy dog even if it is not a basset. Everyone take care   Love Diane
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #307 
To My Dear Friends, 

I just posted a looonng post and dropped a pen, reached down, hit the keyboard and it disappeared.  I will try and condense it and post again but right now I'm too drained.

Your friend, 

Jackie

Karmacat

Registered:
Posts: 40
 #308 
Hello dear friends. Every time I think I'm finally getting better, I still suffer many relapses and find myself back in despair, like tonight. But overall, the episodes don't last as long as before and the intensity has lessened a bit as well. I wish I could say that this prolonged grief and suffering has brought me some kind of clarity or understanding, but it doesn't seem so. It seems like as long as the love persists, so will the grief. Every time I come visit this place, and read the various posts, I always end up in tears. Sometimes, every account of a pet's death and the aftermath I read here seems to mirror my own experience with K cat...

In a few days, it will be the one year anniversary of Karma cat's RB day. I miss her so much every day, and I often wonder where she has gone. I just hope she is well and happy, and free from pain and suffering, wherever she is now...

Karma cat may not have been a special or even a unique cat. But as I fell hard for her, I just loved her so much, and no reasons were necessary for that at all.
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 322
 #309 
Hello, my friends

I deeply understand your pain and loss. I feel your pain also. No matter how much passes,it still rips at your heart. Our little ones Termy, Brandy, Miss B, Rosie and K cat) all shared our lives and loved us to such a depth that time can never erase. We cry and feel sadness everyday because we loved so much. For some reason (no one can explain) we connect to them on a level that defies any explanation. Lucky for us we had the opportunity that they chose us to share their lives with.
I learned today talking to my spiritualist that Termy is always at my feet and continues to share my life. He woofs at me when he wants my attention. I haven't heard him woof yet but I am going to keep my heart and mind open so I can receive messages from him. He also said that I have a boulder in my path and he is going to help me get around it and choose a path in life where he knows I will be happy again. He knows my sadness with my life and wants me to change things. He also said he will guide me to make the changes I need to make because he knows I put off those things for him while he was here on Earth. The spirits adore him as do I. I know I need to make those changes so I can hear him. I told her about the dime and penny and she said he is going to send more money my way. She asked me if I see dirt and leaves in the air as if Termy was digging a hole. I told her I did but I thought it was just the wind. She said no it was Termy. She also asked if I was putting up a tree this year, I said no, my heart wasn't in it. She then said my sister wants a tree and on Christmas morning I will see her. She explained it like staring off into space. If I stare at the tree like in a trance I will see her standing beside it. She also said my sister wants me to relax more which I need to. I cried a lot during that half an hour but it was a good cry. I know this wasn't all that she said to me and if I remember anymore I will share it with all of you. It was a good experience and words I needed to hear. So see, we are never alone because Rosie, Miss B, Brandy, K Cat and Termy really never left us. This I believe with all my heart.
keep the faith and hold tight to the love
Your friend in Pa
Bonnie
Karmacat

Registered:
Posts: 40
 #310 
And on the one year anniversary of K cat's passing, I have a strange tale to share with you, my dear friends..

I went to one of my usual haunts to grab a bite and run an errand. On walking on the overhead bridge to my destination, I noticed an unusual cat that was prowling on the bridge and looking lost. Firstly, this was some special breed of cat, something like a Bengal, judging by its unique coat and markings. It also seemed to me to be unusually tame, and it was prowling back and forth as though looking for something or someone. My gut feeling was this was either a lost kitty or perhaps an abandonment case. Anyway, I left it there and went to complete my errand but felt really uneasy about the situation.

I was surprised that after finishing my errand, I had a sudden resolve to try to bring this cat home to foster, while trying to locate it's owners or perhaps get it adopted out. Surprised because part of me was very unenthusiastic about getting involved with any other kitty. Anyway, I had no carrier with me, and my car was parked quite far away. So I decided that if I could entice the kitty to follow me to my car, I would indeed bring it home.

After finishing my errand, about a half hour later, I went to look for it, and sure enough it was still prowling around the roadside, near the overhead bridge. I actually managed to coax it to follow me back across the overhead bridge and almost halfway towards my car when it kinda got distracted and stopped. At this moment, a man in a hat passed by and noticed the cat and me. He started petting it and we started to chat. He also commented that it seemed to be a special breed of cat. I explained my plan to bring it home to foster, and I asked him to help me to keep the cat there while I brought my car around to get the cat, and he readily agreed to help me.

It took about maybe 10 mins for me to swing around with the car, but I found neither man nor cat there. I spent another half hour scouring the area there, but found no trace of either cat or man. So in the end I had to come home empty hand, somewhat relieved and somewhat disappointed too.

My best guess (and hope) is that the guy decided to take the cat back for himself, in which case I am perfectly happy with the outcome. I am just praying that he doesn't turn out to be some sadistic cat serial killer, but I didn't get that feeling from him in my short interaction with him. So a rather strange and unusual event today on 8 Dec, the anniversary of Karma cat's RB day...
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 100
 #311 
Hello Friends, i truely hope this silence means everyone is doing good. Diane how are you? i hope you are staying busy. Brandy doesnt want you to be depressed im sure she is wanting you to be happy like you were with her. P{lease stay in touch, miss hearing from you. Brandy i was very happy with your news from your spiritualist. hearing that Termy was around you must make you very happy. If I new B was with me i would be a different person. Let us know what else he said to you. You and Diane would be laughing cause they are calling for maybe an inch of snow sunday night and the school closings have already begun. Jackie how is your new job? I know its good to be working maybe that takes some of the strain off of you. anyway Rosie has to be proud of her hard working mom. Anyway you need to stay in touch also. Kcat how is the warm weather? I hope your doing good you have very good insight i really enjoy reading your post. Friends please stay in touch ive missed yall this week. Your friend in snow flurry s.c. Keith
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 128
 #312 
Hello to all my friends, Thank you Keith for the smile about the snow. I am doing ok but I can't seem to get over losing Brandy.Her birthday is coming up and I so want to buy her a gift but then I tell myself she is not here anymore. Every year I always made a big deal of her birthday and this year I feel empty. Karmacat I hope everything works out for the cat, but I am glad you tried to bring it home. Thank you Bonnie for your message, it gives me hope that Brandy is here with me. I hope Termy is guiding you to happiness, I guess all you have to do is listen with your heart. Jackie I hope you are doing well. You are all in my thoughts and prayers, take care everyone. Diane
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