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JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #481 
Hello my dear friends, 

Interestingly, this is my horoscope reading for today and it is so true.  In starting my new job next week I need to remember to be courteous but firm and don't bring personal issues to work.  I am excited but nervous.  

4.23.19:
 Your sensitivity to the feelings of others is nearly boundless, as is your empathy. In business, you can keep your inner world private by being courteous but firm, and sticking to rules when they’re fair and square. However, it is in your personal life that emotions run the show. Being there by offering a listening ear or useful assistance when a loved one reaches out is where you most want to be now. Model Liya Kebede said, “Helping others isn’t a chore; it is one of the greatest gifts there is.”

Your friend, 
Jackie in Seattle....badly needing some sun!
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 138
 #482 
Hello friends,
Jackie glad to hear about the job. Glad you finally got the job you wanted. Everyone sounds alittle better more upbeat that is good. I have felt alittle better since Miss Bs one year anniversary has past. Dont get me wrong I still miss that little girl more than I could ever miss most people. I still think of her so often and the hurt is still there but i realize i do have Annie. I have enjoyed being with her more especially since we are getting back to our summer temps and the days are long. I am going to start taking sat night off this summer ( since I was supposed to be done with overtime) but I only have a year to do this crap before i make a change with work. Since apparantly my other job isn't going to come thru. I hope everyone is enjoying the warm weather as much as i do. So please friends take those fur babies for a walk or even just sit outside with them. Friends Keith
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 174
 #483 
Keith it is so good to hear from you. I know the 1 year date is hard. I am glad you are reaching out to Annie as I am sure she is. Jackie you are fulfilling your horoscope by reaching out to Linda and I am hoping the new job makes you happy and gives you some fulfillment. Bonnie and Karmacat, I hope all is well with you. Your friend Diane
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 138
 #484 
Diane,
Please let Linda know she needs to join us. Always good to have someone else to hear from. The wisdom of yourself Jackie Karmacat and Bonnie has done wonders for me. I for one can always use another voice of wisdom.
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #485 
Thank you Keith!  In numbers we gain our strength.

Just because the thread starts with "Miss B" certainly doesn't mean we all can't talk about our furbabies Miss B., Rosie, Brandy, Termy and KarmaCat.  Mollie is certainly welcome! and her mom Linda.

On a sad note, my ex-brother-in law/sister-in-law's furbaby Ziggy crossed to the Rainbow Bridge yesterday.  He was a 12-14 year old Great Dane/Lab.  I'm sure all our children will welcome Ziggy.  Bill and Gina are devastated with Ziggy's loss but I am going to send them a card with a Ziggy poem along with a link to this site.

You all have saved my butt so many times I've lost count.

Excited to be working Monday!

Jackie, Angel Rosie, LuLu, KitKat and Blossom's mama.
Karmacat

Registered:
Posts: 111
 #486 
Hello everybody. Whenever K cat comes to my mind, I relive the trauma of her last days, and tears inevitably follow. It still strikes me almost daily, even after some 16 months have gone by. I think all of you may also have a similar experience.

The latest idea I'm going to try is to actually set aside a moment everyday to think about K cat and allow the grief to come. I'm sure it's an idea I've picked up from somewhere along the way. The idea is to get the grieving to come out in a deliberate structured way as part of a daily ritual rather than let it strike at random moments, as has been happening. I suspect this could be a good thing to try, and I will keep everyone posted on my progress on this new protocol. Perhaps some of you may want to try it out too.

Good luck Jackie with starting your new job and a new brighter chapter in life!
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 448
 #487 
Hi all,
I know what you mean. I used to relive Termy's last day over and over again. But I have pushed that day way back into my mind. Every time it comes up to haunt me I sob and feel the guilt but then I replace it with some fond memory that Termy and I made together. It's hard to do sometimes but with me no good can come from reliving that day over and over. It was one awful day compared to the 5964 days we shared. Karma Cat, I do set aside time everyday to grieve for Termy. It's at night when I go out side to talk to him. Most times the tears fall as I talk to him and I say over and over again how much I miss him and how very much I love him. My counselor suggested this when I was seeing her. She also suggested that I replace every negative memory with a happy one. This is still a work in progress but it does get easier, at least for me.

Great advice too. We all need to find a way to cope and any help we can share with each other is one step to healing.

Love you guys
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #488 
Hi Everyone, 

Good idea Bonnie and KarmaCat.  I so miss my Rosie and can't believe it will be a year next month.  But I HAVE TO remember the good times and not the last few months of her life.  I think she was living for me and when I gave her permission to go to the Rainbow Bridge the night before she passed, she looked at me like she was going on an exciting adventure!  It was the first time in quite awhile she listened to me and had her ears perked up.  When I felt her little soul leap into the air from her broken body, I knew I made the right choice.  Rosie wanted to go.

With my new job, it will give me something to focus on.  I am nervous but excited.  I need the money.  I need the routine.  I need to not isolate myself and focus my mind on something besides sadness.  I have arranged for LuLu to be walked every day.  It is not cheap but my little girl is worth it.  I can forego Starbucks, manicures, pedicures and eating out for my LuLu.  

Love to you all, 
Jackie

Karmacat

Registered:
Posts: 111
 #489 
Great hearing from you ladies! Bonnie, that is a good idea and I will try to implement that as well! For some reason, my mind is captured by the terrible searing pain of the last days of K cat. Maybe she did suffer quite a bit, but my mind magnifies that by maybe 10x or 100x... So it's possible she did not suffer quite as badly as I imagine it to be. Our pets died 1x, but we experience that death hundreds of times after that. That's the true horror of it. But anyway I will try your advice because what have we got to lose??

Jackie, I'm very sure the structure of the new job, the focus required to perform it, and the forced socialisation that comes along with it can only do you good. So do channel your energies into it! And I applaud you for foregoing certain luxuries to make sure that your Lulu stays well and happy as you embark on this new chapter in your life.!
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #490 

My Sweet Rosie

 

Oh Sweet Rose, I miss you so,

It’s been almost a year you know,

Since you passed that fateful day,

And forever went away,

Life’s been hard, I miss you Rose,

You were my life, my heart, my soul,

You’re still with me by my side,

But the tears I cannot hide,

I miss your touch, your smell, your eyes,

A proud, noble little dog you were,

But nothing’s changed; I know you’re still here,

To guide Mama along in life you see,

You say, Be Strong Mama, You Can Do It! To me,

Tomorrow I start a new job Rosie,

Be gentle with yourself mama, you tell me,

Oh how I wish that you were here,

I have cried rivers of tears,

But in my heart it’s this I know,

I did my best for you even though,

It broke my heart to let you go,

And cross over to the other side, you see,

I love and miss you My Rosie.

 

Love,

Mama

P.S. Rocky the squirrel says hello.  Please chase those squirrels at the Rainbow Bridge, my little princess. 

diane772

Registered:
Posts: 174
 #491 
Jackie, good luck tomorrow. You are in my thoughts. Diane
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #492 
Hello to my dear friends, 

Yesterday went well.  I am glad I am working.  LuLu had her walk...actually 3; before I went to work, the dog walker, and when I came home.  I love that little pooch and my two kitties.  She was so excited to see me and even though I was very tired, we did our little route through the woods.  So thank you LuLu for making me get some exercise instead of eating dinner and going to bed!  

Love to you all, 
Jackie

P.S.  Rosie was with us on our evening walk.  I could feel her little spirit.  I've started taking LuLu on some of the trails I used to take Rosie on.  There was a calm sense of peace as I could envision my little princess running ahead of me.  LuLu is much more obedient than my stubborn little Rose was!

cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 448
 #493 
Hi to all my wonderful friends.
Diane, Jackie, Keith and Karma cat, I hope life is treating you well.

Jackie, I hope your job is all that you thought it would be and your happy. You go girl!!!!! Rosie to the rescue. I knew she would look out for her mama. You go Rosie girl, you rock!!!!!!! Lu Lu is a wonderful person wrapped in fur. You impress me, Jackie. Thank for the support to my post.

Diane,
So glad you are chiming in a lot more. I think of you often. I am so glad that Brandy shred so much with in her life. We were truly blessed, weren't we?

Keith,
So glad to see little Annie is trying to step up to the plate and fill some pretty big paw prints. I am also glad that you are opening your heart to her. I know that this was very hard because I did it with Darla.

Karma cat,
Keep the words of wisdom coming. We all need your keen in site. It really helps.

Something happened the other night I wanted to share with all of you.
The other night we were in our bedroom and my husband heard something fall in the living room. I got up to go investigate. I found Termy's paw print picture, photo and little Chihuahua toy laying on the floor. It fell off the shelf I had them on. But here's the rub. They had to get from the shelf to the floor from behind Termy's urn that has his ashes in it from the third shelf. The urn wasn't moved. I just know it was Termy sending me a message that he is still here with me. I cried my heart out. I think this was a very wonderful thing to happen to me and I just had to share it with my friends. I just want to believe.
You guys all take care. I love you all
Bonnie Forever Termy's mom

JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #494 
Hello Everyone, 

Thank God It's Friday!  I am having to learn ALOT at my new job and completely erase most of the information I gained over my decades of working in various industries and I can tell you this....the construction industry in Seattle is booming and I am up to my eyeballs in learning new processes and how Quadrant Homes works in the financial department.  So it's out with the old and in with the new!  And this old brain is working overtime (and overtime too!)  

Knowing this is the one year month for Rosie I have cried some tears but she says to keep going so that is what I am doing.  I hope you all are doing well.

Jackie 

Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 138
 #495 
Hello Everyone,
I hope everyone is doing well. As for me I had decided awhile back to stop the overtime but now I am doing more than I ever have. I hate doing it in the summer that's when Miss B and I were always outside doing something. We always went places and did things on Saturdays but now it's just work. Next April I will be 57 and then I can retire and come back to work with 2 paychecks so i will not ever do any overtime after that. But another long miserable year to go i hate all this. Anyway I hope everyone is enjoying the warmer weather. Please stay I touch. Just needed to vent. Thanks Keith
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 174
 #496 
Hello friends, Keith we all need to vent from time to time and this is the right place to do it. I really hope things get better. Jackie I am so proud of you. My thoughts are always with you. Bonnie I am so glad Termy sent you a sign and I do believe that is what that was. It just tells me that my Brandy is waiting for me so thank you for sharing that. Karmacat I hope you are doing well. Keep in touch all of my friends. Love Diane [I miss Brandy so much]
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 448
 #497 
Hello all,
So glad that you, Keith and Diane have checked in. Jackie, wow what a new path for you. I am proud of you. You go girl. Keep knocking them dead. Keith hang in there. Life will get better. I never thought I would ever say the words "I can't wait to retire" Well I can't I am so tired of the idiots that are in this world. It scares me that the younger generation are like they are. Remember Keith, 'All work and no play will make Keith a dull boy'. Take Annie and get out of the house, spend Saturdays with her. Jackie, My thoughts and prayers are with you as always. Same with you Keith, Diane and Karma cat. Diane, I know you miss Brandy a lot. She is always at your side and will forever love you. Termy's birthday is the 14th. He would have been 18 and I have no one to share a cupcake with.

With the sorrow and pain our love will forever remain.

Love you guys
Bonnie
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 174
 #498 
Hello everyone, It has been very quiet here for awhile. I always miss hearing from you guys.  Bonnie I will be thinking of you on the 14th. Have a cupcake and remember the good times with Termy. Jackie how is the new job going? I wish you only the best on your new journey. Keith I hope you are taking some time for you and Annie. You need a moment of quiet. Karmacat I truly hope you are well and finding some joy in your life. I am doing ok, spending a lot of time with my kitty Pearl. Now that the warmer weather is here I have been taking her outside. She is such a good girl when I put on her harness. I just wanted you to know I am missing your posts and I hope all is well with you. Your friend forever Diane
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 448
 #499 
Hi all my friends,
I am so sorry that I have been absent for a while. I am having an emotional breakdown lately. I've been crying  a lot and missing Termy . I know you all have been where I am now and I know that you support me. Maybe it's because Termy's birthday is coming up and I just knew Mother's day was going to be a bust. I didn't get any acknowledgment from anyone other than my good friend who made sure I got a card. My husband and daughter let me down. I know I was wrong to set myself up to be hurt by expecting something, just anything. But stupid me, I was hoping. How silly of me. Right?
Diane,
Yes on Tuesday I will buy a cupcake and remember the goofy things that Termy did that made me love him so. Thank you for the support. I hope you are well and are having the fondest memories of Brandy. I bet she loved the spring with all the different smells. I can picture her watching for squirrels and maybe a bunny or two. I am happy that Pearl is adding to your life and you two are bonding.

Keith,
How are you and Annie doing? I hope you are taking time and taking a walk with her. She needs to show you just how she can enjoy the moment and share it with you.

Jackie,
I bet you've been quite because you need the weekends to recharge. hope the job is as rewarding and challenging as you thought. You are a resilient young lady and can adapt. Remember Rosie is walking by your side and will be there to support you every step of the way.

Karmacat,
You've been absent to. I hope all is well with you. I miss your words of wisdom. You can put into words what we all feel inside. You are a wonderful addition to our group and exactly what we need.

I am sorry if I was being a downer by pouring my heart out. I always strive to be very supportive and give all of us hope and compassion. There are times when I need to just melt down and feel sorry for myself. So I apologize in advance if I was a downer.
Love to all of you
Bonnie
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #500 
Hello to Bonnie, Diane, Keith and KarmaCat, 

I too have noticed the absence and my email has been messed up.  Well, my new job is wonderful in most ways except my boss is a nasty b**ch.  I came home from work Wednesday and cried.  I felt like a total loser.  Then I called in sick for two days because I was sick but I plan on going in tomorrow.  

Anyways, I was going to go to HR but decided against it.  I've only been there two weeks and I need this job!  So I am going to back off tomorrow and go with the flow....but also not take crap.  

88 here yesterday.  Enjoying the warm weather with LuLu.  HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL!

Jackie
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 138
 #501 
Friends,
Happy belated mothers day to all of you. Bonnie I an sorry your family is so uncaring but we care and I hope you made the most of your day. Diane you are a good mother also look at how you took care of Brandy and now Pearl. So I hope you also had a good mother's day. Jackie you havent said anything about your special day so I guess you were disappointed also. Just think though your children are out on there on and doing well so you did raise them right. Karmacat you have been quit si I hope your doing ok. I know sometimes we get caught up in our own lives but we need to stay in touch.
I hope I have done most of my overtime I want to enjoy the summer then start back in the fall. I really want to just enjoy the days til the unbearable heat gets here. Remember ladies,moms,that you are special you have raised two and four legged children. My mom is gone so I cant understand why for the life of me these kids dont just smother you with love but that's another story. Love you all Keith.
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #502 
Hello to all my friends, 

It is Monday morning before I go to work.  I needed to share something....anything.

First off, Mother's Day was a non day.  Neither my son or daughter texted me or anything.  I don't expect them too anymore but my feelings were still hurt.  So I went to pick up a friend who did nothing but complain and moan than her sons only acknowledged her with a text and phone call.  The more she complained about it, and life in general, the more I wanted to get away from her.  So she declined my invitation for dinner because she "was tired" and I took her home.  I am trying my best to remain positive. 

My job is interesting but my boss is a nightmare.  I was home sick for two days because of sinusitis but this was after she raked me over the coals on Wednesday.  I am trying to get along with her but it is very difficult.  I need this job as it is my "last hurrah" here in Seattle.  My lease is up in September and if this doesn't work out, I am leaving here.  So I am trying really hard to make it work.

I have been very sad and missing my sweet Rosie ALOT lately.  Maybe because her one year is coming up on Saturday.  Diane, I remember the flack you got for releasing balloons for Termy.  Well on the 18th I am going to release my balloon(s) for Rosie and all my other furbabies.  I realized the other day my big boy Buster, who has been gone over 4 years died on the 18th of October, 2014.  That made me cry.  

I have been very lonely and sad.  You guys are a lifeline for me. As I get older and am looking at the big 64 in a couple months, I've had time for alot of reflection.  Never did I think I would be at this point in my life 20 years ago.  It just shows the twists and turns life hands you.

Love to you all, 
Jackie

Karmacat

Registered:
Posts: 111
 #503 
Hi Bonnie, Diane, Jackie, Keith

I am almost happy to tell you all that I too have been crying quite a bit recently. Happy cos well, then you all will know you are not alone in your tears. It's a mysterious thing, how we suffer relapse after relapse. Perhaps sometimes we trigger it ourselves by looking at a momento of our departed babies, or by listening to a particular piece of music or some other action. It's probably because part of us doesn't want to move on, doesn't want to leave this intense love of our pet behind. So perhaps we unconsciously trigger these relapses. It hurts but yet it's paradoxically comforting in some way maybe?

Bonnie and Jackie, I have always thought that Mother's Day, like other such days, are just artificial creations driven mainly by commercial agendas. How ridiculous is it that only on one day do we celebrate our mothers?? Unfortunately, if like me, one's family is not close or bother too much with each other, one good day in a year or a decade is not going to change anything. If a person is not part of my life, is not someone I see or interact with every week or month, what would be the point of meeting them at all? This is how I have always felt. People who have no time for us, why should it bother us if they didn't greet us on our birthday, on Christmas or any other so called special day? Holidays always set us up for disappointment. Someone bangs the gong and tells us it's going to be a special day, but then it turns out to be just another ordinary day. We feel let down, almost like we failed again somehow. We should stop letting others raise our expectations and set us up for the fall when things fail to materialise.

Jackie, it is probably unrealistic to expect to have a 'nice' boss or manager at this time. People are so stressed in our modern world that everyone has learned that they have to be tough and unrelenting in order to hold on to their jobs and livelihood. As you do need the job, just try your best to get along with your b*tch manager. Even unpleasant people might eventually be won over to an extent if we have the stamina to keep trying to charm them. So see if you can set up a mindset of 'okay I'm gonna make you like me, no matter how long it takes'. I actually tried this out on a person who I felt was rude and unpleasant to me for years, and it worked out quite nicely. He seems nicer to me, and I no longer dread to meet him or harbor resentment against him.

Recently I had a minor but horrible operation to excise a wart that had grown inside my nostril. The injection of the local anaesthetic into the septum of my nostril was at once a terribly exotic and unpleasant ordeal! I hope none of you will ever have to experience this! This time, as usual, I thought of my cats, departed and living, and a new thought came up in my mind - "better this happen to me than to you kitties".. I can't say it lessened the hurt but perhaps it helped a little to think this strange thought.

Anyway, the point is hurt as we are, sad as we are, cry everyday as we might, we are all still here, so we may not be so weak as we imagine ourselves to be. I look forward to hearing all of your further adventures soon.
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 448
 #504 
Karmacat,
I knew you would speak such words of wisdom. Most of what you said is true. They do make Halloween, Easter, Valentine's day and Mother's day  etc all about the hype. Yes our children should acknowledge us all year long not when they are forced to my the media. I guess I was feeling that I was being wrote off and that maybe my daughter would maybe feel bad and text me or something. Your right too in the fact that she makes excuses after excuses that make her feel better. I guess that's why loving something covered in fur that loves you unconditionally and expects nothing from you but a bowl of food and a drink of water and anything else that you may offer is why we love them so much. I think that's why I miss Termy so much. Termy gave me all that I was needing without me ever asking. He made every hurt right and every happy thing better. I know he's still there and if he could have he would have shared the day with me. Why is it we always want what we can't have? I never want to leave the intense love of Termy behind so I guess I will continue to cry and miss him until the day I can join him. Yes, it is comforting in a way because the tears and heart ache reminds me just how much I do love him and always will. He was real and I cherish all the special memories that he shared with me over the years. I bet your injection was like getting an injection to get a tooth pulled. I never minded getting a filling or tooth pulled, I just hated the shots. Maybe that's why our babies get put to sleep for dental work. There must be something to it.

Jackie
I feel for you. You're boss is horrible and a terror to work for but there is a means to justify the end. with this job you can move after September. Hang in there my dear friend. My boss (one of them) (and an owner) is a drunk. I mean a drunk. She makes it hard to stay upbeat and get through the day. I have three and a half years to go and I know I am going to stick it out and make her as miserable as I can. When she is being a Bi**h I look at her and smile, answer her and walk away. Then I say the spirits "she's all yours" and then I hold my Termy pendant and kiss it.I feel better knowing Termy is looking out for me just as Rosie is looking out for you. You release all the balloons you want. If it makes you feel better than go for it. Remember to attach a letter to Rosie or maybe a poem that you so loving write. Sorry your friend didn't take you up on your offer, I would have.

Dang Kieth,
You are so right. When we think we failed as a mother all we have to do is remember that we are the greatest mothers ever to walk this earth. Our Brandy, Rosie and Termy knew we are the best ever. Yes, Keith Miss B knows you are the best daddy  to. Kcat knows that you, Karmacat is the best ever too. So all we have to do is look at all that we have done for them and know we didn't fail. I will trade you my 40 something degrees for your heat any day. I took Darla out for her evening stroll and I had to put her coat on her. You could see your breath, that's how cool it was and did I say rain? It's rained here almost every day for the last six weeks.

Diane,
I am so glad that you and Pearl are starting to bond and do things together. I am going to stop at Walmart on my way home and but the same kind of cupcakes that Termy and I always shared. I may have to eat all them. I will try to see if Darla would like to try one. So think of me every time you have a cupcake. Happy to hear your having warmer weather.

you guys are all my heroes. I am glad that our babies brought us together.
My next post I am going to try and list all the nick names I gave Termy over the years and hope you all will share yours with me.          

Love you guys, you make it all better
Friends are family you get to pick
Bonnie          

Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 138
 #505 
Bonnie, Have a cupcake for me. I've had this day on my calendar so I wouldn't forget. Be glad I'm not there to help you eat them you may not get one. We are with you today.
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #506 
Hi Bonnie, 

Thinking of you on this sad day.  Mine is coming up Saturday.  I'm sure Termy is looking down at you with love and drooling over that cupcake!

Love, 
Jackie

diane772

Registered:
Posts: 174
 #507 
Bonnie, I am thinking of you today. Please be well and think of happy times. Jackie and Keith my heart is with you also on your tough days. Take care everyone. Love Diane
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 448
 #508 
Ah, you guys are so wonderful. Even through your pain you care that I am hurting today. I love you guys.
I had our cupcake and saluted Termy, I wished him a happy birthday and told him how much I loved him.

I will post more later, right now I want to go outside and cry my heart out.

Thank you all for caring. You are the most wonderful people I have the honor of calling friends.

Love you guys
Bonnie
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 448
 #509 
You guys never cease to amaze me. Thank you for your support and understanding. I will write more later this week but I just wanted you all to know just how much you mean to me. Termy loves you all to. He may not be here to show you guys but he knows all that you've done for me.
If there are heroes in this world I've met them here. You are my heroes.
Love
Bonnie
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 448
 #510 
Jackie,
My whole heart goes out to you especially today as with every day. I know how hard it is to recall the most dreadful day in your life. Rosie is always with you and she is watching over you and wanting you to remember her with love and fondness. Cry if you feel you need to but remember the journey to. Do something special in her honor. Donate to a shelter in her name, write her a poem, and yes there is always a balloon to release. What ever helps you through the day.
Remember we are all here for you.
Love
Bonnie (always Termy's mom)
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #511 
Hello my very dear friends Diane, Bonnie, Keith and KarmaCat, 

Well, today is one year ago that my sweet Rosie went to the Rainbow Bridge.  It seems like only yesterday I was at the clinic holding her while she passed.  My heart aches and my tears flow, her passing left a hole in my heart that will never be replaced.  I went to the store and bought some red Roses (I wasn't even thinking about Rosie at the time) and some sprigs to make two bouquets.  I really didn't want to think about today because I have been sick for the past couple weeks, the job isn't working out well at all, and I couldn't bear the thought of Rosie's passing.  Oh God Rosie, I miss you so much.  I love you so much.  I look at your pictures every night.  I know you are here with me in spirit but when you died, a part of me died.  So today I will put the roses out and later get some balloons and write her a letter to paste on the balloon.  

I have never felt grief this deep.  Living the "new normal" sucks.  

Your friend, 

Jackie
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #512 

One Year

 

It’s been one year since you went away,

I think about you every day,

Oh, my Rose, why did you have to go,

When I still loved you so,

You were so special to me, you gave me happiness, you gave me strength,

This past year has been very hard,

My heart is broken, I miss you so,

My dear Sweet Rosie, I love you so,

So on this day it’s been a year,

I still hold you close my dear,

And look at your pictures every day,

Even though you are far away.

Love, Mama…..waiting to join you…

diane772

Registered:
Posts: 174
 #513 
Jackie you are in my thoughts and prayers today. I know there is nothing I can say to ease your pain, just know you are in my heart. Always your friend Diane
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #514 
Hello my dear, dear friends, 

Yesterday was rough but I have to relate something extraordinary that happened later in the day, as I spent alot of time in bed grieving over my baby, my sweet Rosie.

As you all know, yesterday, the 18th, was one year ago my sweet Rosie passed.  Oh how I love her and miss her so much.  It was not a good day.  I spent most of it in bed.  But then my little girl came to me in the most unexpected way.  After I got up having cried most of the day, I went to take my little LuLu for a walk.  She is a chihuahua/jack russell.  I looked and looked and couldn't find LuLu's collar.  So I looked at my little tribute stand I have for my Rose which is where Rosie's collar is.  I asked Rosie if it was okay if I borrowed her collar for LuLu.  She said absolutely!  So I put Rosie's collar on LuLu...it was a bit snug but that was okay.  I do not want to change the size because it fit my sweet girl.  So LuLu and I went for a walk with my sweet Rose around her neck.  Afterwards, I had to return some stuff at the store and LuLu still had Rosie's collar on.  I took it off and hung it on my rear view mirror in the car.  So now my little Angel travels with me wherever I go.  She wanted me to put her collar there.  I can still see her little JRT white hairs on the collar.  I know she was trying to comfort me.  I did finally find LuLu's collar.  It was on my bed where I had looked several times previously.

Your friend in Seattle, WA
Jackie
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #515 
To my dear friends, 

I posted this on the thread regarding euthanizing our beloved ones.  I wanted to put it here too.  It has been a rough time.  

I too had to let my sweet, sweet Rosie, my beloved white little Jack Russell Terrier go to the Rainbow Bridge one year ago yesterday.  I had her for over 14 years...I got her as a stray so I'm not sure how old she really was but I estimate at least 16 or 17.  People say, well, she lived a good long life but it is never long enough!

My poor girl had a heart murmur that turned into congestive heart failure.  She was such a proud and noble little dog who had been with me through some of the best and worst times of my life; divorces, estranged adult children, traveling around the US, our adventures were endless.  

But the last year or so of her life it was not quality.  She became deaf, incontinent at times, confused and the heart issue....I literally spent a couple thousand dollars on that alone.  But it didn't matter.  To see her go downhill and stop doing the things she loved broke my heart.

So after I had picked her up from my old vet (I no longer go there) one year ago and they had drained 2 lbs of fluid from her lungs...she only weighed 16 lbs.  Rosie and I had a little talk.  We talked about what a wonderful little companion and soulmate she had been to me through the years.  We talked about her playing with the soccer ball on the beach and chasing squirrels; about her always sitting in my lap and how she loved running through the woods.  And then we talked about her going to the Rainbow Bridge.  I told her I loved her so so much but I was ready to let her go; if she wanted to go.  Rosie was ready, but I wasn't.  I so wanted her to be her old self again but those days were long gone.  

As I talked to her, she listened as if she was going on a new adventure.  Her ears perked up and her eyes....those little brown eyes...were full of excitement.  I was releasing her to go home to God; after all he only lends us our babies for a short time.  

The next morning around 5 a.m. I awoke to her panting heavily and in dire distress.  I rushed her to the emergency clinic.  They told me they could try saving her but she would probably only last a few more months....but I wanted those months!  However, I remember my promise to my little girl the night before...that I would let her go.  So I held her in my arms while they put her to sleep.  They warned me she would poop and pee on me but I didn't care.  Then with her last breath, I felt her little spirit leap into the air free from her aged and broken body.  She immediately became cold.  The vet said that was because her little heart was just broken and couldn't be fixed.  

I miss my baby every day.  I know I did the right thing and kept my promise to Rosie but it hurt(s) so bad...even though she's been gone a year.  I know she is healthy and happy at the Rainbow Bridge.  She tells me the grass is green and the sun shines all the time.

I know this is long and I hope you all read it.  I believe euthanizing a beloved but suffering fur baby is the greatest and most ultimate act of love we can give them....and that is what I gave my Rosie.  See you at the Rainbow Bridge my sweet little squirrel chaser.

Mama (Jackie in Seattle, WA) also mama to LuLu, KitKat and Blossom.
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #516 
To My Very Very Dear Friends, 

Today, I bought 10 balloons.  I am releasing them for my children and also Termy, Miss B., Brandy and KarmaCat.  They were/are very much loved and a huge part of our lives.  This is my tribute to our best companions.  They loved us through thick and thin.  I have 4 heart balloons, three gold balloons, and three blue balloons.  I love you all.

Jackie

cosesmom

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Posts: 448
 #517 
Jackie,
Rosie knew just how special you were and now we all know exactly what she knew. You are a wonderful lady who loves with all her heart. It is so wonderful that you thought of us on Rosie's Bridge Day. God made Rosie, as his special angel and she shared you with us.
I love you dear lady
Bonnie
diane772

Registered:
Posts: 174
 #518 
Jackie, thank you very much for thinking of all of us. Bonnie said it right, you are very special and very dear to all of us. Keith you have been quiet, I hope everything is ok. Love you all Diane
Barefoot1

Registered:
Posts: 138
 #519 
Hello everyone,
I've just been trudging through this life. Not alot holds very much excitement anymore. I had suppressed Miss B's last few days but this morning I have been thinking about her alot. We have a 3 day weekend coming up and would have been so nice to have her spend it with me. The temperature for next week is over 100 with high humidity for the foreseeable future. That will just add to my misery,welcome summer. Jackie if I can take this miserable job you can keep going with yours. Just remember it will end someday. That's all that keeps me going here. Diane I really hope your finally able to get out and enjoy the weather. Bonnie I hope you are finally thawing out. Karma cat we all enjoy your words of wisdom. And Linda if you are out there come be a part of our group.
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #520 
Hi Keith, Diane, Bonnie and KarmaCat, 

Well, I don't have to worry about the job anymore since they fired me yesterday.    I am done with Seattle.  I will be 64 which I don't think is old but apparently it is in Seattle.  I have been sick and they were waiting for me to come in so they could fire me.  A cheapo severance package but i'll take it.  Keith, I am planning on flying in to Greenville, SC. to check our Asheville, NC.  A scary leap for an old broad but I can't stay here.  So everyone, wish me luck.  Rosie is my co-pilot and I will make a last trip to Alaska.  Love you all and it will be easier to visit if I'm in NC.  Keith, Diane, Bonnie an KCat, I have to relate the experience when I said a memoriam for your children.  Every way their balloon flew into the sky was different.  Quite incredible!

Love, 
Jackie
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