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Andijayne

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Posts: 5
 #1 
I just posted about his issues and death but realized I did not post about his big beautiful soul!
Although I did not know it at time I needed him as much as he needed me. He changed me forever. He taught me patience acceptance and love!
We had so many good times over his short years.
He was too smart for his own good. Picked up on any obdeience coomand or trick I threw at him. We called him Super Koop!
Although he had several fears and phobias. Cieling fans Loud noises , rubber bands....we worked on those and he got better with some. He had a huge personality! Not to mention huge ears. Such a clown!
Every day before work he'd steal one of my shoes and bolt outside. He knew I'd chase him to get it back !
He loved to tug with his fav leather toy! He'd dump the toy box over at least 5x a day.
Every sat it was agility class or hiking. Many evenings doing backyard agility.
There was also plenty of snuggle time.
He was my boy and I loved him !
I ended his life, the world is quieter now without his energy! ! I can't breathe! I wake often hoping it's a bad dream. But then I remember he's gone ! I feel I made a mistake. He wasnt old or sick... What have I done? I can hardly live with myself!
SpookyWolfe

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 591
 #2 
Super Koop sounds like quite a character. I’m so sorry for your loss. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. You made the decision because you had no other choice. It was not you that killed him, but rather the illness in his head. It doesn’t make the grief any less, but you did the right thing.
Andijayne

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #3 
Thank you so much for the reassuring and kind words. Yes he was a character for sure ! He was a very special dog. I really believe he didn't want to do those things , he just couldn't help himself . As it would last only a few seconds then he would retreat and look very confused. Even the people he bit felt bad for him. They knew he wasn't his usual self.
Not everyone understands my decision or how hard it was to make. I get that as I struggle with it every minute of every day. Thanks for your understanding and not judging me. Your words really do help
Andi!
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