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mross

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Posts: 3
 #1 

Yesterday I accidentally backed my car over my 10 year old cat.  I watched her crawl under another car and die within about 15 minutes.  It was one of the most horrible things that has happened to me and I am having a really hard time forgiving myself.  I think that if I had been more cautious that day, it could have been prevented.  She loved being outside and spent 10 years enjoying the outdoors.  Although I knew it was more dangerous, I just couldn't make her live life inside.  I am so upset about the pain she must have been in after I hit her and the look on her face while she was so injured and helpless.  I had to go home and tell my 3 young children while my husband got her and burried her.  We will all miss her and I can't stop thinking about it and reliving it.  My friends don't really seem to quite understand why this affecting me so much.  I would appreciate any support you could give.  Thank you!

Myasmom

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Posts: 386
 #2 

This wasn't your fault. It was an accident that could have easily happened to a neighbor or a friend. I am soo sorry this happened to you. Your friends who don't understand, I pity them. They have never known the love and joy of a faithful companion. Know your fur baby loved you and would never hold a grudge. Their love is unconditional.

mross

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Posts: 3
 #3 
Myasmom,
    Thank you so much for taking the time to respond and for your encouraging words.  I am having trouble getting through the basic tasks I need to do in the day.  I know I need to stop blaming myself!  It helps to hear it from someone else. 
--Meleah
HeartsickII

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Posts: 837
 #4 
I can only imagine the horror, the pain and the guilt.  I am deeply sorry for this tragic accident and for what you are going through.  I sometimes swear that evil must have a hand in some of these occurrences.  For the most part, I believe that a certain fate is involved and that there would have been no stopping what happened.  No matter what we believe or don't, though, the honesty of it is that it was an accident.  Accident, according to Webster, is,"An event that takes place without one's foresight or expectation".  You know that you would have never done anything in the world to hurt your sweet kitty and in fact, would have done anything you could to help her.  That is what you must hold on to and try and forgive yourself.  You can beat yourself up at a constant rate and it still doesn't change the word "accident".  As hard as it is to face, and I'm sure I would feel the same for awhile, you must not dwell on the I should have...what if I...I wish I...if only I would have..., and I could go on.  Most of which none of us would do on a normal basis.  It comes down to the same crucial thing: you must forgive yourself!!  Stop and think if it would have been your husband or someone else you love that this happened to; what would you say to them? 

She was loved everyday for the ten years she was with you.  That is what she took with her as she left this earth and crossed over to rainbow bridge in the arms of her angel, not the circumstances of this tragic and sad accident.  Our beloved pets have only the ability to forgive and to love.  We sorely need to learn from their example.

Don't worry about your friends not understanding, it is just not possible for them to know what you are going through right now.  You will definitely need more support and you will find that within this site and among these caring people here.  Come often and talk, vent, rail or rage.  We understand it all here and will be here for you.

I am so sorry this senseless tragedy has happened to you, I truly am.

Magnum's girl, Barb

Dale

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Posts: 45
 #5 
so sorry to hear of your terrible accident, its the hardest thing in the world to lose a pet in any way but please try not to blame yourself, it was what it was "an accident" and your baby would not want you to feel so bad.

I will be thinking of you
HelenY

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Posts: 1,415
 #6 
Dear Meleah--

    My heart is just breaking for you, but your precious little girl must know that it was just that-- an accident.  You gave her 10 wonderful years of love and caring.  She will take that with her to the Bridge.

            Peace and healing to you-- Helen, Teddy's Mom
Tapahtyn

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Posts: 30
 #7 

I am so sorry to hear of this,  There had been a couple of times that my boy just didn't move when i was pulling into or out of the driveway, he just wasn't scared of things like that.  I cry for you because I know how much that hurts, I honestly can't believe how broken my heart is.  I have a hard time forgiving myself for ANYTHING that happens to animals in my care, I feel like I should never let anything happen to them.  Everyone is right though, as hard as it is, you can't blame yourself.  I will be thinking about you

Mare

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Posts: 11,060
 #8 
I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet cat.  Accidents are so heartbreaking.  My heart goes out to you.  I know it is impossible to stop thinking about your beloved cat's last moments, but do try and dwell on the happier times and the wonderful memories you have of the many years she shared with you and your family.  Your pet is now with all of our babies, and she is surrounded by the best of the best.  I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Mare-wolf
precious Christoph ~ gone three years, but alive in my heart ~

tstefanick

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #9 
Oh my, I'm so sorry to hear about your accident.  I've heard of this before and I always feel so badly for someone who experiences this.  I totally understand how awful you must feel.  I would feel the same and so would anyone with their heart in the right place.  I have outdoor kitties and understand the need some of them have for being outside.  The other evening when I came home from work one of them ran onto the driveway and laid down and starting rolling around on her back as if to say, "Look at me.  I'm so cute and happy."  I couldn't believe it.
It is very sad how your kitty died and you have every right to be sad and grieve.  Don't worry about what other people think.  We here on this site understand completely and there are a lot of us.  You are in our thoughts and prayers.

YorkieHeidi

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Posts: 1,541
 #10 

Dear Meleah:  How horrible for you.  I am so very sorry.  You must have been in agony.  Please be gentle with yourself, you have suffered enough.  My yorkie, Chelsea was hit and killed by a car but she died instantly.  I think that was my one saving grace, she was already gone.  I cannot imagine what you had to go through.  God Bless You and Your Family.  We are all here for you, for as long as it takes.  Sincerely, YorkieHeidi

Lisarb

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #11 
M
I just backed over my son’s beautiful sweet cat WHILE MY SON WAS IN THE CAR with me. He was a dear cat- the very sweetest I’ve ever had and I’ve loved many, but he was white and deaf. In the five minutes it took to open the garage door and pump up a couple footballs the cat walked under the car and laid down. It’s really hot and he must have closed his eyes and gone to sleep- he does that but I never realized he couldn’t sense the car starting up. I heard something and thought I had a tire problem- I jumped out to look and there he was. Thank God my 14 year old son didn’t know what happened and thank God he was absolutely dead and not just injured. I quickly moved him to the side of the house without my son looking and drove my son to football practice. This happened 6 hours ago and my husband knows the whole story, completely forgives me and buried our boy. Some (many) would laugh at the ridiculousness of this story, but I am literally in agony. I’m trying to go about the day normally since we decided not to tell the kids until my 12 year old comes home later. We also decided to say that it happened on the street by an anonymous driver who must not have even known it happened to spare them from thinking a horrible neighbor hit and ran. I know I must live a sheltered, blessed life because this may be the single worst thing I’ve ever experienced. I’ve been thru many many pet deaths, every one horrible in their own way... but this???? I am at a loss.... usually a strong woman, but currently destroyed.... I think I actually have friends who would laugh at this- and others who would shrug it off, but I feel like I just murdered a member of my family and I am not OK right now. I think you compassionate souls will understand. Would appreciate any comfort, thank you
olesim

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #12 
Lisa rb,
Do not be too hard on yourself. My boys told me that life happens and people die every day, so do our furry friends. Their time just comes. Sometimes it is an accident, and sometimes it is a disease.

You will not believe what happened in Sardinia, Italy. I was on vacation with my dog Mila at the dog beach. She was playing in the water and running to the blanket. She stayed with us all the time and never left us. Then, suddenly she went to a stranger to say hi. I thought she would come back as she normally did. I called her. She did not even look at me. She went towards the beach county road. I ran after her calling her name. She stopped by the road. At that time, the road looked clear. So I yelled at her and  clapped like I usually call her, “Mila No! come here!” She looked at me for 2 seconds and turned her head and went to the road. At that time a young guy appeared accelerating on the motorcycle. The speed limit there is 30 kilometers which is 18.6 miles. He was probably going 40 miles. He hit her in the head. She ran for a few steps and fell on the pedestrian crosswalk. Mila breathed for about 2 min and died. 
She never left me before and she always listened. I feel it was my fault to let her off the leash on the beach. We were far from the road. She had to run through sand, bushes, pine trees, and palm trees. She did not stop anywhere to sniff anything as she normally did. There were no other dogs or children towards the road. There was nothing there but this motorcycle. She did not chase the motorcycle, just jumped in front of it as I watched. It was devastating and horrible. 
I am trying to find peace but it is difficult.
My boys said that God takes care of his creatures who died on earth. They will live in heaven in His new creation. They said Mila is with my first German Shepherd Santana, who died 20 months ago.
Stay strong and look for peace.
Olesim
pb313

Registered:
Posts: 104
 #13 
M,
You have found the right spot. Please know guilt will try to get in your heart and your head but we are to help. We lost our buddy, Raider, in a car accident. But notice, accident. That does not take the pain away. But please do not let guilt trick you. You love your children so much you want to spare them and you loved this cat.
Hoping the kids do okay nd you guys find some peace.
Paula-Raider’s mom
eddiesmommy

Registered:
Posts: 15
 #14 
Oh, I am so, so sorry. That must have been awful. We had a neighbor accidentally run over her new puppy a few years ago and I know how devastating that was for her. I can't imagine how it would feel after 10 years. I'm actually on this board because my dog was hit by a van when I was walking him yesterday and he passed away. I am having a really tough time forgiving myself too. "if only..." "I wish..." You could go on forever wondering, but you'll go crazy. I hope that you (and I) find peace soon. Just know that it was a freak accident and NOT YOUR FAULT. 
olesim

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #15 
Eddiesmommy,


It was an accident and it is ok to grieve and miss our babies. Guilt and blame corrode the soul. We have to remember the good times and happiness we shared with our babies.
Hope we all find some peace.

Olesim
rh

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #16 

I am reading this now because I accidentally ran over one of my cats yesterday morning. I won't describe the whole story to save you the visual (it wasn't gory, but harrowing), and eventually he did not make it. Must have been internal. I do think he knew I was near, during the the time when he was in pain. But yes, the guilt. and shame. Why couldn't I have looked under the car? It is cold where I live, and frosty, and I went out early to warm up the car, but I forgot to turn the defrost on...so when I went out to leave, I had to sit there for a few minutes with defrost on...how confusing for him??? We have a big mud rut in our driveway due to recent rain and then freeze, and when I started to back up I felt resistance and thought it was the mud rut. =-(  

I have my own business which without going into details is all about leaning on God, receiving Grace and Joy and Light in our lives. And this means I have to constantly be on social media promoting events, talking about light and love---and I believe all of it--

but right now I feel so heavy and sad. Feels inauthentic to do what has to be done, even if it is still true. I forget for a minute and then I check back into reality and he is still gone. And I could have looked under the car and stopped it. 

How do I ever get over this? 

eddiesmommy

Registered:
Posts: 15
 #17 
Oh, I am so sorry for your loss! I understand you pain and feeling that it was somehow your fault but after losing my dog this summer, I started going to therapy and my therapist said something to me that really resognated..."did you wake up that morning with the intention to hurt/kill your pet?" Honestly, you know that you had no intention but to love on your cat that day. Please dont be too hard on yourself and just trust that your kitty is in a better place waiting for you.
rh

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #18 

Dear eddiesmommy---thank you!  

I read this message Saturday but was not able to respond right away---your words certainly did bring a measure of comfort (along with some other folks' prayers and words recently), and I so greatly appreciate that you took the time to write them! May God bless you mightily!!!

warmly,
robyn

mross

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #19 
Hi rh,
I am he one who posted this originally 8 or so years ago. It was a really difficult time for me and our family. I will say that it does get easier with time. I am also a Christian and try to remember that God uses all these things for our good and His glory. We have another sweet kitty now and though our other cat will never be replaced, it is comforting to know that we do everything possible to love and care for the pets we have. It’s important to remember that it was an accident that could happen to anyone and to try to forgive yourself. Praying for you!!
-Meleah
eddiesmommy

Registered:
Posts: 15
 #20 
Thank you and God bless you too.
J_09

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #21 
Hi, I'm reading this because a few hours ago I witnessed my husband run over my cat. I'm absolutely devastated. He didnt know our cat was there it was a complete accident. I saw it out of the window and screamed. He drove off totally unaware so I rang him while I ran outside. Our cat had got up and ran onto the pavement but collapsed onto his side. He made a strange choking sound and died. I stroked him and cried hysterically. My husband returned and i could see the guilt in his face hes so hurt. We buried him in the garden and have to tell our children in the morning. Weve decided to tell people he was simply run over and not to go into detail. My husband has gone to sleep but I'm awake in tears. I cant get the image out of my head. I dont know how to come to terms with this. I loved our cat so much. Itl be so strange not having him around. Our other cats and dog all know. I can tell their sad too. The whole atmosphere in the house is awful. My children are aged 3 and 6. I know I wont be able to tell them without crying. I'm so sorry to hear all of your experiences. But it gives me some comfort to know others have been through it if that makes sense. I'm so numb I cant believe hes gone. I cant blame my husband he feels bad enough as it is. It was an accident. It isnt his fault. And if I'm crying all the time hel feel even worse.
rh

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #22 

to " mross", thank you!  I am sorry that I am just now responding! It has definitely gotten better with time. 

 

to J_09, oh, I am so sorry. Believe me, I completely understand what you are going through. As the others have said, it will get a little easier each day, but we can certainly understand the pain in this moment. I honestly wondered in the first few days, "how will I EVER get over this?" And the truth is, I am certainly not OVER it, but I can handle it. sometimes the memory of how my kitty passed comes back to haunt me for a moment, but I have to choose to remember how happy he was, how much love he received and gave, and what a blessing we were to each other. I do believe that he is in a better place now waiting for me...and I believe that for you and your sweet kitty, too. <3 

I am praying for you! May your many good memories begin to crowd at the one painful one...because they are far more important! 

KatKat

Registered:
Posts: 101
 #23 
I am so sorry for all of you that these accidents happened to.  How tragic and painful.  Monday my dog killed my little kitten in front of me, I am devastated.  Keep blaming myself, should have, could have etc.  I never left them alone but it didn't matter.  I set the kittens toy on the floor next to me, a plastic tower with little balls in it, my dog was somewhere else, suddenly was by the toy and the kitten ran out from under the couch I was sitting on and my dog turned and grabbed her, it was so fast I couldn't do anything. I jumped up and ran over to her and it was awful, I picked her up and screamed and screamed and screamed and cried and my held my little kittie and she passed away.  She trusted me and I let her down, what was I thinking when I put that toy on the floor.  I should never have brought her into the house thinking it would work with my dog.  I hardly sleep, I cry all the time, I'm sick to my stomach and I can hardly eat.  I don't know if I can ever forgive myself.  I am also in agony and my husband doesn't get it even though he felt bad when it happened, he cleaned up the floor and buried my sweet baby.  I drag myself off to work and get through the day but it's tough.  I keep wishing I had put the dog somewhere else when I had the kitten out with me, I keep wishing I had never bought the stupid toy which was delivered that day, I wish I hadn't put it on the floor.  I can't stop reliving it in my head.  I can't stop thinking about her.  Thank you for listening to my pain.  So sorry some of you are also feeling guilty because it's such an awful feeling.  My hope for all of you and myself that in time we can forgive ourselves and begin to heal
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