MelanieBnG
Registered: 07/20/10
Posts: 37
|
| | 07/30/10 at 02:22 PM | | #1 |
|
| Last night, my boyfriend Chris and I along with my Dear Parents went out for dinner for Chris' birthday.
My Mother went and picked up Jackson's remains earlier in the afternoon...and she brought something to dinner with her....
The wonderful people at the cremation place took Jackson's paw and made a paw print in clay and gave that to my mom, along with his ashes. I smiled as I have clay prints from my two heelers (still alive) - it was a kit I bought at Petsmart that came with a frame, etc...
Anyway, after dinner, Chris and I were driving home and I kept thinking about Jackson's paw print and I started to cry. All that remains of our beautiful boy is ashes....and this paw print....I guess I just felt that pain in my stomach again and it was like I could reach out and pet him....I guess I don't know what I'm trying to say...his toenails also made an imprint....It almost felt for a second that he was still alive somewhere...he had to be! That was our baby's paw print!!! I used to tell Jackson when he was a baby how BIG his feet were. I guess it just struck me as, this is the last physical impression on anything he made before being cremated....also that this impression was from after he had passed....A whirlwind of emotions....it is beautiful, but almost solidifies the fact that he is REALLY, in fact....gone :(
Does this make any sense at all??? Ugh...I'm just thinking out loud :( |
| Loading... | |
Darian
Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 39
|
| | 07/30/10 at 04:09 PM | | #2 |
|
It makes perfect sense. I feel the exact same way. Our baby's ashes don't arrive until next week. I'm anticipating all kinds of stress, sobbing and more guilt. The paw print was a very sweet thing for them to do. I guess they know how we cling to every last moment and hope to get a glimmer of joy from each memory.
I don't know if the pain goes away but I'm sure it will get duller as we realize that this is the way it is meant to be.
|
| Loading... | |
john82
Registered: 07/22/10
Posts: 21
|
| | 07/30/10 at 04:30 PM | | #3 |
|
I actually didn't know about the paw print thing at all. My dog Buddy passed away after being at the emergency vet clinic for about 28 hours while being treated for pneumonia-like symptoms. I took his remains to be cremated and brought his ashes home on the same day.
A few days later, my mom came over with a package addressed to me saying it was delivered to her house. It was from the vet so I was really curious as to what it was. I opened it and it was Buddy's paw print in clay along with a condolences card from the vet. Very sad but I'm very glad that they got his paw print for me.
|
| Loading... | |
rottiesrule
Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 81
|
| | 07/30/10 at 05:02 PM | | #4 |
|
My boy's ashes came home on Wednesday, and my husband had to get them, I couldn't do it. And I'm like Melanie, my mind just stops at the thought that my big, beautiful Rottweiler is nothing more than ashes in a box. It completely messes with my head. I know the pain will get easier, and I know I won't hurt like this forever, but I miss him and I want him back. My vet said today, that's he's whole again, running, up on all fours. It's a beautiful thought and I hope it's true. I asked Bubba to show me sign that he's ok. I'll wait for that til I'm meant to meet him at the Bridge. |
| Loading... | |
mkornreich
Registered: 07/12/10
Posts: 33
|
| | 07/30/10 at 06:26 PM | | #5 |
|
I feel the same way. My Alex has been gone for 3 weeks (tomorrow will be 3 weeks). My husband had picked up the ashes about a week later and I just couldnt look at them. How is my beautiful, vibrant girl in that box? It makes me physically sick to really think about it. But, at the same time, I cant get rid of them (scatter them). I'm feeling so lost. 4 weeks ago she was running around, healthy as could be. And 3 weeks ago she was gone. And now all I have is a small box of ashes.
I understand your heartbreak. It just doesnt add up that all of our loved pets, who were so full of life, come home for the last time in a tiny wood box.
|
| Loading... | |
LukesDad
Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 129
|
| | 07/30/10 at 06:55 PM | | #6 |
|
Melanie and all, what you're feeling, and the "roller-coaster of emotions" as I've been calling my experience, has got to be normal for our losses. I've seen so much of myself in everyone's posts that there gets to be a certain amount of comfort in the fact that I'm probably not going crazy after all!
I chose not to have my babies cremated....I wanted to have their bodies on my property in a nice little burial area that has one on the side of the other and two small sugar maple trees in-between the graves. I live on 3 1/2 acres, and I have them in a very nice spot out in back where they can get a mixture of sun and shade, and be right next to the place that their kennel used to be. Every night, I go to the graves and bring another stone to put on each one, and I talk to them, and cry a bit. I know that it's not them anymore in there, but somehow it gives me comfort to go there and put the stones in place and talk. At these times, I hope that they are looking down at me, telling me that they're OK, but maybe still appreciating that I'm attending to them. Does that make any sense at all??
I'm becoming more convinced every day that Lil is happy to be back with her buddy. The three weeks that she had to spend without him must've been very tough on her. Now that's over.
God Bless you all for the help you've given me to make it through this so far. I have a feeling that I won't be straying too far from this forum at any time in the near future! LukeAndLilsDad (Rick)
|
| Loading... | |
justkell
Registered: 07/21/10
Posts: 12
|
| | 07/31/10 at 12:59 AM | | #7 |
|
| ohhh Melanie, I know how that paw print makes you feel. I had the vet get me my chihuahua Bruiser's paw print and my husband picked it up for me and when I saw it I just cried. The ashes have not come back from the cremation place yet, so this paw print really is all I have of my little boy right now and it was very emotional. I just got back from the tattoo place right now. I got his paw print tattooed on my foot. When Bruiser was here he followed me everywhere. And now after his passing he can still continue to walk with me every step I take. As soon as I got it, it's just made me so happy, and feel so peaceful. I feel like I have him with me at all times now. I keep looking at it and just smiling. And when I'm walking I look down at it and it really makes me feel like Bruiser is still walking with me. |
| Loading... | |
Mare
Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 5,791
|
| | 07/31/10 at 03:05 PM | | #8 |
|
Emotions run wild in the early days and weeks of losing your beloved fur baby. I was a disaster when my bunny first passed and didn't think my heart would ever recover. Talking to others about your feelings is very helpful and this site is so comforting. My heart goes out to you as you cope with the loss of your dear Jackson.
Mare
precious Christoph ~ 2 years at the bridge ~
|
| Loading... | |
Moonlight
Registered: 10/18/09
Posts: 488
|
| | 07/31/10 at 10:03 PM | | #9 |
|
Yes, it makes sense. I'm so sorry. You're in the early stages of grief and I was totally nuts when I lost my 17 year old cat last October. Grieving is like an emotional roller coaster. I lost my 15 year old dog just this May too. I've been through an absolutely crazy journey to get to a place of starting to heal. I cried, was depressed, angry etc.. All you can do is let it out. Your beloved pet is in a beautiful place now and isn't really gone, don't forget that. Take care.. |
| Loading... | |
