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misscath007

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Posts: 13
 #1 
I lost my baby 8 days ago. He died suddenly at home. You know, I was reading some of these posts on here about peoples' babies being killed by car accidents and I think how could I live through that? But then I think does it matter how you lose your baby? It is still devastating.

My boy had just turned 12, he did not seem sick, except for hurting his paw. Other than that he was eating and seemed ok. The last day, he was having trouble going to the bathroom and was restless. I knew I needed to take him to the vet, I should have taken him to the Emergency but what did I know. He died early the next morning. I cried so loud, I woke up my roommates. 

I have his ashes with me. He was my whole world. I don't have a family of my own, no close friends and my sister is my only remaining family. The anniversary of my dad's death is coming up in a month and I feel like the hole in my heart will never mend. I suffer from clinical depression and am on medication. Right now I am going through the motions. 

I have lost furbabies before in my life but none of the losses have come close to this one. He was my constant companion. He gave me something to live for when I didn't have anything to live for. I want to get another baby so badly, but I am looking for a place to live and I don't know if I will be able to have a pet.

I don't know if I will be able to go on if I can't get another baby to love. I am so lonely.:(

I loved him with all my heart and soul. I don't know what I am going to do without my Spikey. :(
Ashelby

Registered:
Posts: 92
 #2 
Oh no, I'm so sorry for your loss.  I struggle with depression and anxiety myself, and I too am on medication.  I know how much losing your baby will be setting you back because I'm going through it too - so badly that my mum wants me to talk to my doctor about increasing my medication as, since my dog died three months ago, my current dosage is no longer helping.

If you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to PM me.  Keep coming back to the message board, you may find it helpful to share how you're feeling.

I know it's hard, and it seems impossible at times, but try to look after yourself.  Lately I've been reading a lot of articles on https://themighty.com/depression/ - it helps a little bit to know others are dealing with similar thought patterns.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss.
Me223

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #3 
My dog died suddenly too. Was sick for only a day. I still think about how I should have gotten her to the emergency vet. And then I think, maybe she might have died anyway if their approach would have been to monitor her.. she may have died alone in a kennel... I have to force myself not to think about my dog's last day as I can't change it. I try to not think about it but like you, tonight I'm struggling. I'm sure yours had a great life with with you. That's more than so many animals get.
misscath007

Registered:
Posts: 13
 #4 
Thank you both for responding. Ashelby, I don't know if my meds are making any difference right now and on top of that I have migraines that occur on a near daily basis. Thank you for your kind thoughts.

Me223, I didn't really think of it that way. Don't know if him dying in a vet's office would have been any better.  Yes, he had a great life with me, I wish all of those wonderful pups and kitties could have the same love. I just miss him, all I want to do is  stay in bed and cry. 
Pidolin

Registered:
Posts: 102
 #5 
Dear misscath007, be brave, I know how you feel and I am really sorry for your loss. My little Westie was 12 and two months when he unexpectedly died on 1 January this year. I have been devastated ever since and I feel just like you, I want to stay in bed and cry. He was my little baby, my little child, my soulmate, my best friend, my everything, my one and only pet. I never had a pet before him and I don't think I will ever have one again.
misscath007

Registered:
Posts: 13
 #6 
I'm sorry for your loss. I feel the same as you, just totally lost. I want to run out and get another furchild but I can't. I don't know where I will be moving yet, so I have the added stress of finding a pet friendly roommate situation. If I can't find one then I will have to take whatever I can get right now. I  am trying to be positive that I will find such a place but it's hard to be positive when you are feeling so empty. 
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