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Phoebewhite

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Posts: 5
 #1 
I lost my beautiful girl Phoebe 10 days ago today, I can just about talk about her without bursting into tears, I am having a 'down' day today though, I had been talking about her to someone yesterday who knew her but didn't know we had lost her and it choked me up when I saw the expression on his face, our friend had known her since she was a puppy. She was so loyal, being a German Shepherd I know that comes naturally but she was more loyal than my other 3 had been if that was possible, I miss the evenings when sitting watching TV she used to play 'footsie' with me, I used to say to her No, I'm not playing footsie and immediately she would put her foot on mine then I would lift my foot up and put it on hers and so it would go on, this was a regular thing right from her being about a year old, I am smiling as I am typing this so she in a way has cheered me up a little, even the day before she was pts at least we got to play footsie one last time.

There is a photo of her on my account page if you would like to see it, I haven't yet worked out how to post photos on the forum.
HeartBroken12

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Posts: 158
 #2 
Sorry for your loss Phoebewhite! It sure is hard to lose our furbabies. They are the most loving and giving beings!
cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #3 
Dearest Phoebe Fur parent,
I understand your hurt and pain. I miss my Termy (boo boo, aka Terminator) so very much. Even though I lost him a little longer ago than you, I still find myself crying and wanting him back so very badly. I was just saying to myself to myself " oh Termy, I miss so very much" I too have friends who don't know he is gone and I know when they are told I will choke up and cry. It's just so unfair that their lives are so much shorter than ours. I wish the hurt would ease a bit. Your Phoebe is your heart love as Termy is mine. I took a video of Termy playing with his slipper that looks like a wolf that he had all of his life just a week before I made the awful decision to let him go and I cry each and every time I watch it. So you playing footsie with her is a memory that will last your lifetime. I love and hate the little things that remind me of him, if that makes any sense. I look out in to the yard and no matter how hard I try I can't see him there and I want to so very badly. I guess that's where our memories will have to be enough.
I am sorry that your Phoebe is gone and you are hurting, I wish I could say that it will get better in X number of days but I can't. Please feel free to write me and we can cry together.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
Phoebewhite

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Posts: 5
 #4 
Thanks both for your kind words.
I also made a couple of short videos of Phoebe, it makes me smile thinking about it, she could be really silly, our other dog liked digging and Phoebe would stand right behind him getting covered in dirt ☺, watching the video makes it feel a little as it she is still here, it is silly things that set me off, like today I was looking at the carpet and there were no clumps of Phoebe fluff dotted about the floor, she moulted (shed) all year round, it drove me crazy, but now.....well I'm sure you understand.
HeartBroken12

Registered:
Posts: 158
 #5 
I sure do understand! Now you wish she would still shed and drive you crazy =) I'm so glad when I still find a piece of my furbabies hair here and there.
I wish I had more videos of my baby boy, some reason I haven't took that many, not even sure why. =( At least I have pictures. And of course now I wish I did some things differently when he was still around.
Hugs and blessings
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 580
 #6 
Phoebe mom,
Thank you for replying and most of for understanding. It seems as if you do the same thing that I do, look for things around the house to see if we are only dreaming that they are gone. Termy was just starting to shed to get ready for winter. I found his sweater the other day and it was covered on the inside with his fur. I will never wash it, I am going to put it in a bag and hope it will always smell like him. I haven't even put his dishes away yet. I did however put away his condo (crate). I haven't gone through his toys yet because his sister still plays with some of them. I understand what you are going through. Christmas is going to be hard for both of us. When I get out the decorations I know I will find his stocking and cry. I hope we both can find the peace we both need to keep living each day without them. I will think of you and pray that you find peace in knowing your Phoebe is waiting for you at the Bridge. Keep memories of her in your heart, for she loved you so very much.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
Phoebewhite

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #7 
cosesmom,

I understand the bit you said about Termy's toys, Phoebe's toys are still in her toybox in the lounge, I can't even bring myself to wash them, Harvey our other dog isn't interested in toys, never has been but Phoebe loved her soft squeaky toys, her favourite was a large pink flamingo and a funny spikey shaped ball, right up until the evening before we lost her she brought the flamingo to me to squeak and then throw for her. 
We have just received in the mail this morning a lovely card from the veterinary  surgery that looked after her through her life right to the very end, it has been signed by everyone from the surgery, all the vets, nurses and receptionists, they have also sent a special card impregnated with wild flower seeds for me to plant in the Springtime as a reminder of our beautiful dog, how sweet is that? needless to say the tears are flowing again :'(.
I am thinking of you also. Sending doggie hugs back to you.x
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