Registered: 1187662903 Posts: 8
I have not been back to this board in a long time. Maybe 8 or 9 months. But I think about my boy every single day. I still talk to his picture on his urn across from my bed. And when I go to bed each night I still imagine him here with me wishing him a good night's sleep and telling him how much I love him. I have not been able to go back to the vet to ask the questions I have. I think if/when I do it will help me put some "closure" to this but....I have not been able to go back. And as much as I want to ask the questions, part of me doesn't want to revisit that horrible day last August. The one year anniversary is approaching. Maybe it would be appropriate to go back on "that" day. Or, maybe it would just be morbid!?!? I just need reassurance that my boy knew how very much I loved him and that he was not in pain. I need reassurance that he knew I was there with him till the very end and that I didn't want to turn and leave his body behind that day. But I had to. Revisiting this post may not be a good idea. I'm in tears all over again just like ten months ago. I've done okay these past several months. But I have not been able to think of getting another dog. I just can't imagine loving another one like I loved him. We had a connection unlike I've had with any other living creature on this planet in my 38+ years. I don't think it can be matched. I miss you Winston. Mommy loves you...and will love you....forever. XOXO my boy.
Registered: 1162335502 Posts: 460
I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. In my 66 years, I have lost many dear furbabies and featherbabies, one of them I had for 29 years, longer than I had my two daughters at home. You do need closure. Instead of a visit to the veterinarian's, how about a phone call? You have unanswered questions. Perhaps you can phone, ask your questions, and the vet can call you back with the answers? I wouldn't go back on the anniversary. That would bring too many memories. Please know that your sweet baby knows that you were there to the very end, and beyond. Your baby is at the Rainbow Bridge, happy, healthy, and probably playing with my bridge babies. Love expands exponentially. The very love that we have with our dear furbabies goes on forever. It is a gift from our Creator. I believe the love shared with sweet pets is probably one of the purest forms of love. All giving, all compassionate. After you talk with your vet, after you have made your peace with the passing, and achieved some closure, please keep it in the back of your mind that their are wonderful, loving, caring pets at Animal Regulation (The Pound) that are just waiting for a nice person like you, to share this wonderful companionship and love. I know, you don't want to do it, it would seem like you are abandoning your baby. Not so. The love you shared must go on. Love is like a living thing, and each time you share love with a pet, you have more capacity to love again. Just think what a wonderful world it would be if everyone could share that sweet love with one another! We would have no conflict in this world, if that were possible. Again, my heart-felt condolences on your loss. You both are in my prayers. Love, Pat
Registered: 1211298031 Posts: 95
I read your post and went back and read your Aug 07 post. Your baby boy looks just like my Bennie. Your words sound just like my words to my boy. I called him my baby boy, too. I cried when I read your post it was just so similar to mine. I share your heartache. What beautiful boys we were fortunate enough to have in our lives. They were blessings from heaven. Just think of what we have to look forward to someday. We will see the sunshine of our lives again and they will be well and happy, and so will we! My days are empty now and there is no sunshine without my boy. May we find peace.
Registered: 1198872932 Posts: 1,205
I too have gone back to your past posts on the loss of your beloved boy, Winston. What a beautiful boy he is, by the way. I am so sorry that you are still hurting so much, it must be so hard for you.
I am sending you a rainbow, just to remind you that however our babies have passed they are well and happy now. They will always love us as we do them. Love Di xxx