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goofygirlinva

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Posts: 1,191
 #1 
Today marks 10 years that my beautiful, precious Blackie left this earth and flew on to heaven. He was such a special cat - I could not have asked for a better kitty companion - and even though 10 years have passed, I still miss him so very much.

Yesterday after work I drove to the townhouse complex we lived in and walked around a bit, remembering our time there together, especially our last day when I took him out for a brief walk. It was bittersweet to revisit our old stomping grounds, and even though there have been some changes to the complex, it was almost as though I stepped back in time and it was still 10 years ago and Blackie was still with me and part of my life. Revisiting our former home brought back some poignant memories and I will say I shed some tears as I retraced the steps we took during our last walk together. 

This morning I wrote a brief letter to Blackie to let him know I was thinking of him on this anniversary. Here is what I wrote: 


God, Blackie, I can't believe it has been 10 years since you left me. I have missed you so very much, and my love for you still shines as strong, if not stronger, than the day you left to run on ahead of me to heaven.
 
So much has happened since you passed away. Rufus is still with us and going strong. I adopted Squeeker, and we spent 9 glorious years together, but sadly, he passed away last May from cancer. I adopted Bud and Little Red, and after Squeeker passed away, I brought Thomas into my home. None of these wonderful creatures would have been here with me without you first gracing my life. 
 
I miss you so much, beautiful Blackie. I miss your meow. I miss your quiet, dignified presence. I miss caring for you. I miss having you in my life and coming home and seeing your wonderful face greet me at the door. I miss sleeping with you and waking up in the morning with you by my side. I just miss being with you and knowing you were always here, waiting for me to come home. 
 
Blackie, I hope you are happy and healthy up in heaven. I hope you have found some good friends to play with and to keep you company. I hope you are waiting for me because I am so eagerly looking forward to the time when we will be reunited, never to be separated again. 
 
I don't know what more I can say other than I miss you and love you, my beautiful, precious one. Be a good boy and please come visit me, OK?
 
Until we meet again,
- Kelly
 
 
Tweenys_Ma

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Posts: 847
 #2 

Dear Kelly,

You and Blackie have been in my thoughts recently and am glad I came upon his 10 year post.  It must have been comforting and haunting, at the same time to revisit the places you spent together.  I am in tears reading your letter to him and all the happy times you did together.

Seems like we felt like we would not survive a year without them, and now we find ourselves all these years later remembering and loving them as much as ever- even forgotten memories sometimes come back out of nowhere.

I'm sad that you lost little Squeeker last year, I lost my little Samantha as well.  These precious little souls come into our lives and stay with us forever- even if not physically, they are always a part of who we are. 

Thinking of you and sweet Blackie with love today, and always warmly in my heart.

Beautiful 10 Year Bridgeday, Precious Blackie~~**

With love, Tweeny's ma Anna (and Rusty, Patches, Middy, Matty, Samantha and earth babies Sylvia, Lulu and Lewis)

Sabrina_Buster10

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Posts: 26
 #3 
Hello Kelly,

What a beautiful story, and special letter to Blackie.  Not that long ago it was one year since I lost my precious Buster.  It was so hard.  After I let him go, I started writing a letter to him.  It's kind of like a journal.  I make entries every now and then when I want to feel extra close to him.  It's amazing when I look back at what I've written.  I still miss him terribly, and now after losing Sabrina little more than a year later, the pain is fresh all over again.  When Buster died, I had Sabrina to comfort me.  We grieved together.  It's even more painful now that there is no one to comfort me.  The house is so very empty.  But I know their spirits and souls are here.  I can't bear the thought of adopting another pet right now.  I feel like I never will.  Going through this pain again would kill me.  Sabrina was with me for fourteen years.  Every single day.  My best friend.

I'm thinking of you as you get through this day.  You are celebrating him and that's so special.  I know he is looking at you from across the Bridge, waiting for you to join him.

Take care.

Sabrina & Buster's Mom



goofygirlinva

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Posts: 1,191
 #4 
So...Saturday was Squeeker's 10-year Gotcha Day anniversary. This was the first time he was not with me since that wonderful day 10 years ago, and I was feeling extremely nostalgic and sad that he is no longer with me. I had the day off from teaching so I decided to go to the shelter where we found each other and spend some time with some of the cats there as a way to honor Squeeker and the wonderful cat he was.

We had a bit of snow overnight, so it was cold and snowy, similar to how it was 10 years ago. Only 10 years ago we had a blizzard. Thankfully we did not have a blizzard, but it was still a bit of a snowy day. Anyhow, I drove down to the shelter and went into their cat area. I went to the part of the cat area where Squeeker had been housed, and there were just a bunch of really wonderful cats there waiting for somebody to adopt them. I did not bring any cats home with me yesterday, but almost all of the cats I visited were snuggly ones that really wanted to cuddle and purred up a storm almost immediately. None of the cats I have left purr and cuddle the way Squeeker did, so it was wonderful to experience that again. There was one particular group of cats that were exceptionally cuddly and sweet. They were a group of 3 and they were all related. Their person had passed away and their person's family could not take them into their home, so they came to the shelter. One was a beautiful black beauty named Bear. She was about 6 years old and was all black except for a white spot on her chest. When I was in some of the other kitty rooms, she saw me and did her best to get my attention. As soon as I went into her room, I sat down and she came up and settled down on my lap, purring away, just like Squeeker did 10 years ago. The other 2 cats in the room were Bear's brother named Storm, who was a beautiful tabby boy with white feet, and Storm's daughter. All three cats were just the sweetest things - very gentle, affectionate, and very ready with their purrs. All three need to be adopted together because they are very bonded, and if I did not have any cats, or if I only had 1, I probably would have taken all 3 home with me. But I have 4, and that is more than enough, so I was not even thinking about bringing them home with me.

Still, sitting there petting all 3 of them brought back memories of how when Squeeker & I first met, he came right up to me in his room and settled down on my lap, purring up a storm, as we took our time getting to know each other. I remember sitting in Squeeker's room (which, IIRC, was right across the hall from Bear & Storm's room), listening to the radio play Rite of Spring (it was the 1st day of spring 10 years ago) and watching the snow fall through the window at the end of the hallway. I remember how heavy my heart was from losing Blackie just 2 days ago, and I remember how soothing it was to sit there and pet Squeeker and listen to his purr and look into his eyes. I was having similar emotions yesterday as I cuddled with Bear and Storm and Storm's daughter, and it felt so good to pet a kitty that way and listen to their constant, full-blooded purrs again. It made me miss Squeeker all that much more...

Anyhow, I just wanted to come here and mark Squeeker's 10-year Gotcha day anniversary on Saturday. It is so hard to believe I have lost 2 cats and that this is the first year that both Blackie and Squeeker are no longer with me. I really do miss them so very much, and my love for them is as strong as it has ever been, if not more so...

Love you and miss you, my beautiful boys. Thank you both for the time and love we were blessed to have shared and for the wonderful memories. You were definitely two of the best things that have ever happened to me...

All my love...

- Kelly

goofygirlinva

Registered:
Posts: 1,191
 #5 
This past Sunday was Blackie's 12-year RB Day anniversary. It is so hard to believe 12 years have gone by since I last saw my beautiful boy, since I last had the chance to kiss him, hold him, look into his beautiful eyes and tell him I love him.

I finally took Thomas in to be cremated on Sunday. The place I go for pet cremation is about a mile from the townhouse where Blackie and I last lived together. I wanted to go back to that complex and spend some time walking around the grounds and reflecting on the time we lived there. But because we now have a shelter in place order, I did not do that, which was sad because I really wanted to revisit the last place we lived together. But it was also a cold and wet and windy day outside - probably fitting for the mood I was in - so it was probably best that I just kept my trip to the pet cremation place short and to the point.

So this now means that March 29 will have a double meaning for me - Blackie's RB day and Thomas' cremation day. I guess the good news is that tomorrow, March 31, will mark Squeeker's Gotcha Day anniversary. And one other good piece of news - I decided to foster Tobie, a 15-year old male tuxedo cat whose owner moved and decided she could not take Tobie or his friend Oreo (a 12-year old tuxedo boy) with her. From what the people at the shelter told me, she didn't have any restrictions or anything that would keep her from keeping Oreo and Tobie, so she simply gave them up. So sad for Oreo and Tobie. But now Tobie is with me and I told the shelter folks that I would foster him for as long as he is alive. They seem to be perfectly fine with that, and so far Tobie seems to be settling into his new surroundings quite well. 

The first evening Tobie was understandably cautious with a few hisses towards me and my 3 cats he saw on the other side of the door. But after a day he settled down and is starting to show his personality. He purrs up a storm when he sees me, is affectionate and is surprisingly playful. He has a great appetite and is just a gorgeous boy with the prettiest eyes ever. He also has a white undercoat, which is unusual and very beautiful. Tobie also let me clip the nails on his front paws without putting up any kind of fuss - I think he is thankful to have them clipped because his nails kept getting caught on the carpet, on my clothes and on the towel I put on the loveseat that is in his room. So far he does not seem to be interested in leaving his room, not even to play with one of the toys he seems to enjoy, and that is OK. I'll give him however much time he needs to feel comfortable enough to start exploring the rest of the house.

But in the meantime, I am still adjusting to not having Thomas with us, and now I need to get used to having Thomas' ashes in the house. I really, really miss Thomas and his huge presence and personality. I miss hearing his obnoxious, demanding meow. I miss seeing him greet me at the top of the stairs when I come home. I miss feeding him, sitting with him on the sofa in the evening and just being with him. I really wish I'd taken advantage of the opportunities I had to teach him how to walk on a leash so we could go on walks together. I think he would have loved doing that. The weather is supposed to start warming up around here starting this week. I am looking forward to getting a lilac shrub to plant in Thomas' honor in one of my back yard gardens. Planting season around here usually starts in the middle to late part of May, so I probably have about 7-8 weeks to wait until I can do that. But once I can plant the shrub, I am really looking forward to being able to sit outside and smell the flowers from Thomas' shrub and enjoy seeing it thrive and then reflecting back on the life Thomas and I were blessed to share, even if it was for less than 3 years...

Love you and miss you, Thomas and Blackie. I hope you are both happy and healthy up in heaven. Please find a way to let me know you are nearby, OK? Until we meet again, all my love to you both...

- Kelly
grievingmom

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Posts: 639
 #6 
What a lovely tribute. Almost brought tears to my eyes.
Raiseravens88

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Posts: 8
 #7 
What a sweet tribute idea ❤️ It’s almost 1 year since I started my memorial garden and I think it’s time to erect a plaque with their names. I miss and love my two so much.

Good on you for fostering! I volunteer at a shelter but haven’t taken the plunge yet to foster. I’m nervous that I will grow too attached and be sad when they leave. Not sure if I will do it in the end, but it sounds enticing.
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