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celestialpixie

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Posts: 4
 #1 
My beloved Dobby who I’ve had since I was 9 drowned in our pool. He was going to be 16 in June. I took my mom to an appointment, he’s usually fine during the day in th backyard. My sister was home and I figured she would check on him. I should have asked or left him inside but he started peeing inside often and I knew would be back soon. I regret it so much.When I got back I went to check on him, I see his orange sweater floating and I run out screaming at the top of my lungs I didn’t realize how loud I was and I pulled him out he was gone already. The thing that is haunting me the most is me pulling him out and pressing on his stomach. Foam blood and water poured out of his mouth. Someone even called the police when they heard and an officer checked on us. I feel like I overreacted but I can’t even process this it doesn’t feel real. My mom and sister also feel so guilty I don’t want them to feel as horribly as I do I just keep seeing him in the pool and wishing I could have been there to help him I don’t know what to do. I can’t sleep and haven’t eaten since he passed 1/23/17 and at constantly nauseas. He would walk in circles during the last year of his life, get stuck in small places, trip and lose some of his teeth. I’m not sure if he was blind but he did have a growth on his eye and was unsure of where my noises came from. I know he was towards the end of his life but I still expected another 2 years at least with him. And I wanted to be able to say goodbye. I can’t believe after all these years he ended up just dying in our own yard. I hate to think that he suffered or was cold or struggling to get out of the water, my mind keeps wandering to how his final moments were and I’m consumed with guilt. He hated the water so much even baths were a struggle. He was my best friend and I would snuggle him every night every morning as long as he would let me. I know he was old I know it was an accident but I wish it didn’t happen this way. I feel I will never get over this and I’m so sorry that I failed him
Abbie

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Posts: 46
 #2 
I can't even begin to imagine the pain you are in.  Please know that you had no reason to believe that anything would happen as nothing had before!

We cannot predict how or when, but only that it is written in stone the moment they are brought into this world and nothing or no one will change that.

Please know also that you are here with all of us who are grieving as well and understand and care without judgement!
celestialpixie

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Posts: 4
 #3 
Thank you for your words Abbie. Yes believing that it was his time to go brings me some comfort. also hoping that since he was older with some problems already that he went quickly with as little pain as possible.
Always__there

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Posts: 123
 #4 
Celeste...Regardless of our pet's age pain is pain is very early.I am told by my vet animals live in the moment. Never easy for those of us left behind to grieve. Know that you are not alone and WE all feel your despair. We all hurt for our beloved pet's having passed and are now peaceful. Peace to YOU.Sherry/beloved Perryxx
celestialpixie

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Posts: 4
 #5 
It’s almost 3 weeks since I lost Dobby. I have bought a necklace for his ashes and haven’t taken it off. Recurring dreams of Dobby. I really feel like he was so much more than a pet, my familiar, my soul mate. Last night I had a dream that I went outside to get Dobby. I see him running towards me and I lift him up and burst into tears. I know he’s gone. I know he’s dead but not quite sure it’s a dream. I hold him closely, petting him, hugging him and pacing around the back yard crying. Even in the dream i know he’s gone but I felt so confused that he was there yet comforted that I was able to hold him. I wake up crying and wanting to see him again and go back to sleep. Does anyone else get visited by their pup? What do the recurring dreams mean? I hope it is his way of letting me say goodbye.
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