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Jjbean

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Posts: 2
 #1 
My dog Lola was a normal, healthy girl. She was 4 years old when she passed away a few weeks ago.

We adopted her and her brother as littermates, they have never spent a day apart.

One day she was perfectly normal. Active and happy. The next day she was circling and walking like she was drunk. A visit to the emergency clinic showed nothing. We were referred to the Veterinarian College and when we went to pick her up the next morning , she was unable to walk and twisted to the left.

She spent 3 days in ICU. No explanation. Her brain was swelling but there was nothing in her blood, urine or stomach. She developed aspirating pneumonia and we made the decision to put her down.

My sweet little girl is gone with no explanation. I struggle with feelings of denial, guilt, and incredible anxiety with my healthy dog, her brother. He did the exact same things she did leading up to her passing, the vets have assured me it was unexplained...and yet, I feel like there was SOMETHING I missed.

I also feel a tremendous loss and I worry about her brother being lonely. I haven't left him for longer than an hour.

How long will these feelings last....just when I think I'm moving on, I get sucked back into my grief.
JDon

Registered:
Posts: 20
 #2 
Some things will not be explained. I feel your pain, we put down our little cat yesterday, he had been poisoned some how. We all feel responsible for these creatures and do our best.
Hopefully you can start feeling a little better soon.
The loss is overwhelming. Don’t blame yourself you loved that animal with everything you had,
Best J
skmk

Registered:
Posts: 93
 #3 
Hi Jjbean,

I'm very sorry for the loss of your precious Lola.  It sounds to me like you did everything in the world you could do.  I agree with JDon.  Some things will never be explained.  I brought my dog Dickens in to the vet for neck inflammation and 5 days later he died.  They said his immune system was destroying his red blood cells.  They didn't know why but by the time they had a chance to do anything he passed away.   They asked me if he could have been poisoned and thought he had a bleed somewhere and mentioned a fast moving cancer but I will never know what really brought this on and like you I wonder if I missed something.  They offered to do an autopsy but I just couldn't think of him being cut up I was too upset.  So I will never know.  And I too suffer from grief and guilt.  This happened almost 3 months ago and I'm still a mess.  And just when you think you're having a better day the grief comes back.  That's the way it is.  But you can always come to this site for support.  Everyone here understands.
Wishing you well,
skmk
Jjbean

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #4 
Thank you both. Knowing that others have the same feelings DOES make me feel better.

We are lucky to be getting an autopsy. Maybe one day I will have some answers. I feel like I still see and feel her ghost and that my mind is making things up to deal with how I feel. Unlike other senior dogs that I have put down, this loss is extremely different.
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