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asnow19

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Posts: 1
 #1 
I dont know if it is just me, or if being very pregnant is making it worse. I was in grade 3 when we had our family dog put down. I am now 32. Perhaps it's the hope I had that we could make him better. We did an ultrasound and an MRI and we were going to pursue surgery if that would help...

What was thought to be a slipped disc in the neck turned out to be a nerve sheath tumor that travelled up his left leg into the neck and into the spinal cord. This is inoperable and also does not respond well to chemo and radiation.

Our boy London was going to be 10 years old in March. We didnt get much time with him as we adopted him when he was 5. He was a malamute/husky and HUGE. But a gentle giant.

But I cant stop crying. I may stop for 20 or so minutes and then it just starts right back up again. The feeling of loss seems to be affecting me more then the loss of family members. I am grateful though there is no wondering of 'what if'. What if we had done this, or caught it earlier, etc. This was fast progressing the vet believes by his symptoms and the only way to had stopped it was to catch it early while it was still in the leg and amputate. At his age/size/weight that is not something we would have put him through. I do get comfort in knowing we truly did everything we could but this is still extremely hard..
arosettamason48

Registered:
Posts: 32
 #2 
asnow19,

You are not alone at all in feeling a more profound loss than that of a family member. The way I have cried these last 2 and a half days is more than I have ever cried in my entire life and I've come to realize why.. humans have the ability to hurt us.. it could be the smallest fight or a rude comment that we can so easily hold onto. We as people unfortunately hold grudges at times and can be so critical of someone who hurt us.. while there are always wonderful memories with a family member or friend who has passed, there was always at least one bad memory we could look back on.

..not with animals though. Animals do not hurt us. They do not make us cry or feel badly about ourselves or abandon us. They are there for us unconditionally because that's all they know. They depend on us and they need us and the love they give us is unlike anything that a human can. That has been my deepest struggle
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