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Bossmomma

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Posts: 2
 #1 
I'm so mad sad and hurt I had to put my maltipoo down yesterday. He had a heart murmur and a secondary kidney infection from a surgery he had a week prior on his foot(his foot was irritated , he had an appointment scheduled for the next day but he chewed his nails down to the bone the night before I could take him. I still don't know why and can't believe he did that) I've never heard of a dog doing that before.He didn't drink or eat for 9 days straight after the surgery. My baby was in pain. I know he was In pain but I still feel bad for having to put him to sleep. I miss him so much. I dread coming home now without him here . today is his birthday , he would've been five. I miss him so much. He was still young. I'm mad I didn't get to spend more time with him.I'll never forget the look his doctor gave me once his heart stopped beating. Me and my family was so upset. I was so upset that I forgot to double check for myself just to make sure he was gone. That's something I told myself I would do. I checked his heart all night before and still forgot to check after he was euthenized. Now I have feelings of guilt like what if the doctor was wrong and he wasnt really gone yet? And he died with out me?
twinkiesmom

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Posts: 837
 #2 
I am so sorry for your loss. None of us ever have enough time with our pets, sadly all too soon they leave us. You love him with all your heart and he knows it, the last thing you did for him was to allow a merciful release from his pain. I have an absolutely wonderful vet. I met her when she euthanized my precious kitty Nugget while my previous vet was on vacation. When she told me he had passed I looked at her and said but I didn't tell him goodbye. She said but your last words were I love you. At a time like that we are not able to function normally. We are emotional and trying to keep it together. He didn't die without you. I feel sure he felt your loving touch and heard your voice. He is at peace, no more pain, only love. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you.

Twinkiesmom
Lu

Registered:
Posts: 22
 #3 
I'm sure your pet didn't die without you. Grief causes our thoughts to run rampant. I had similar horrible thoughts about my dog and I buried her. She had very clearly passed and I didn't bury her until the next day and she had been wrapped in a towel all night. Still every horrible thought you can imagine crossed my mind. I'm so sorry about your pup. I lost mine a month ago and I am doing much better but am still very sad and miss her so much. She was only half way through her potential life span and I wish I could have had many more years with her. I do believe their love and energy lives on and although I don't know about the Rainbow Bridge, I do think we will see our dogs again someday! Hugs!
Bossmomma

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #4 
Thank you guys for your responses it makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. I'm sorry for your losses as well. It's hard coming home to an empty house. Even cooking is so different, I'm used to him being in the kitchen with me begging for food lol thinking about the good times definitely helps. We will definitely see them again when one day.
Lu

Registered:
Posts: 22
 #5 
You are definitely not alone. :( The first few weeks are the worst, I think. It helped me to put together a photo album and my girls and I are going to make a collage or a memorial craft together. These little rituals seem to help although it doesn't seem like they would. It may seem weird to some people, but I watched a ton of Near Death Experience videos on Youtube, especially ones in which people saw their pets in the afterlife. 😉

I didn't used to believe in that, but science is legitimately studying it and there are scientists (former skeptics) who have had NDEs who are complete believers now. There are institutes dedicated to the study of survival of the consiousness after death, reality beyond what we can perceive/understand with our human brains, etc. (I searched "NDE pets" etc.) Eben Alexander is a good one - he is a neuroscientist who had an NDE. (not sure if there is any mention of pets in his story, though) At the very least it has given me hope that there is a lot more going on in the universe than what we are aware of and that our pets' spirits are still going strong 😉 I used to think it was silly when people said "they're in a better place" when someone died but now I believe they really may be! 

One day I hope to see my little Lulu running toward smiling me they way she did here on earth! I think you will see your sweet pet too! Hugs!
 
Lu

Registered:
Posts: 22
 #6 
You are definitely not alone. :( The first few weeks are the worst, I think. It helped me to put together a photo album and my girls and I are going to make a collage or a memorial craft together. These little rituals seem to help although it doesn't seem like they would. It may seem weird to some people, but I watched a ton of Near Death Experience videos on Youtube, especially ones in which people saw their pets in the afterlife. 😉

I didn't used to believe in that, but science is legitimately studying it and there are scientists (former skeptics) who have had NDEs who are complete believers now. There are institutes dedicated to the study of survival of the consiousness after death, reality beyond what we can perceive/understand with our human brains, etc. (I searched "NDE pets" etc.) Eben Alexander is a good one - he is a neuroscientist who had an NDE. (not sure if there is any mention of pets in his story, though) At the very least it has given me hope that there is a lot more going on in the universe than what we are aware of and that our pets' spirits are still going strong 😉 I used to think it was silly when people said "they're in a better place" when someone died but now I believe they really may be! 

One day I hope to see my little Lulu running toward smiling me they way she did here on earth! I think you will see your sweet pet too! Hugs!
 
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