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Nicolemariemorris

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Posts: 4
 #1 
My cat got run over 2 days ago, I’m not expecting to be completely fine, but since it happened I can’t even think of a future without him.
He was 7 months old and the loveliest cat you could ever meet. We rescued him from terrible circumstances and nursed him back to life.
Throughout the later stances of my pregnancy he was with me all the way, cuddling my bump and following me around. He was there when we brought our son home for the first time and didn’t get jealous just loved his little brother.
He somehow managed to make his way to the main road from our back garden, he never normall went far but this time he did and got hit😢 some lovely lady took him to the vets and that’s how we found out.
I’m riddled with guilt thinking maybe if I called him in earlier it wouldn’t have happened and I feel guilty for just doing day to day things. I’m scared of forgetting him. Most people don’t understand what I’m dealing with right now but I just don’t see a way forward from this, I just want my fur baby home 😥🐾
KatKat

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Posts: 171
 #2 
I'm so sorry for your loss.  Your grief is acknowledged here.  It's so hard to lose our fur babies.  This is a sad and tragic event.  It's normal to feel grief and guilt, however, there's no way of predicting whether you had called him sooner would have had any different outcome.  What a beautiful life you gave to him.  You won't forget him, time will eventually allow you to heal and not feel so sad but, because you loved and nurtured him, you will never forget him.  Please continue to reach out, I've found it helpful.  I recently lost my kitten to a tragic event.
Napalmakita66

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Posts: 138
 #3 
I'm so sorry for your loss. We all go through phases where guilt sets in. Could I have done more..what if I came home earlier..questions that we will never be able to answer. The fact is that some things are out of our hands. We do the best we can...what more can we do?
I have my beliefs...reincarnation, soul journeys...it helps on one hand. But the fact is we don't know how this universe works or why things seem to go the way they do. One day it's perfect, everything going my way..the next, my beautiful pup is in front of me on a table at the vet covered in a towel. The world certainly doesn't always go the way I want.
There are lessons, challenges and growth. I'll never be the same again. We all love our pets with every fiber in our body. It's a tremendous loss and I hope you find comfort and peace soon. Perhaps another furry friend will decide it needs your love and find it's way into your life. Be well
Nicolemariemorris

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Posts: 4
 #4 
The guilt is awful, I thought I heard his cat flap earlier that hurt a lot. I hope this isn’t forever I can barely manage to fake smile at the moment
Napalmakita66

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Posts: 138
 #5 
It's so hard I know. My Akita, my little man was my guardian angel. He woke me up every morning for walkies. We ate meads together. He would lay outside my door when I meditated and did yoga, he was outside the door when I cane our of the shower...car rides to the store. He was my partner and best friend. He's gone now
The house is quiet and empty. I look for him around corners and in all his favorite spots. Yesterday I tore a chunk of chicken off and started to reach next the table to give him a snack...it's just strange not having him here..but his energy isn't gone either.
It will get a little easier. I have good days and hard day's...I'll laugh and then a wave of tears. Guilt is normal, but we did the best we can and sometimes things are not in our control. Give yourself time and let things heal. I wish you the best
KatKat

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Posts: 171
 #6 
When I first lost my little kitten I swore I could hear her sweet little mews.  She loved to run up the stairs and peek around the corner at me.  I still look at the stairs and think of her.  I miss her everyday but my pain is easing up, I don't have a constant emptiness in my stomach.  Guilt and what if's still run through my brain but I am not completely devastated when it happens, sad but able to manage.  Thinking of you..
Napalmakita66

Registered:
Posts: 138
 #7 
KK...glad to hear your doing better. Skins about the same for me..I feel better now but there's still a heaviness in my heart and the tears still flow daily. It's a process
KatKat

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Posts: 171
 #8 
Aww Naplamakita66, I think of you and your sweet boy often.  Losing my kitty was very difficult but I know not as difficult for me as you because she was only in my life a short time.  Hugs to you😉 
Napalmakita66

Registered:
Posts: 138
 #9 
So many memories..all those habits. That's my karma now and I have to deal with it. I'm sure your little tiger made quite the impression. The brightest flames burn out the fastest...something like that. Thank you again for the thought, you've been a great help. Take care
KatKat

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Posts: 171
 #10 
Aww, your words are so comforting and beautiful.  Her little flame burned out way too fast.  She truly was a beautiful creature sent from God.
Nicolemariemorris

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Posts: 4
 #11 
Thankyou everyone for your kind words, I have to get on I have a baby to look after but it doesn’t stop me from seeing him, like napal said in his favourite places, he used to sleep in my spare bedroom and his favourite blanket is still there with his fur on, im scared that one day it won’t be there anymore, I guess I’m holding onto that like it’s him but it isn’t 😩
My partner wants to get another cat, not because he didn’t love our little Cosmo but I guess that may be his way of dealing with things, I’m not so keen right now. The house feels empty and I feel a loneliness I don’t think any other animal can fill right now, I’m just not ready yet I don’t want to feel like I’m replacing him because I could never. He did everything with me, sit on the bath, on the windowsill whilst I showered, next to me at the dinner table, he was like a dog although he’d never been around them! I love him dearly, I’m just hoping the hurt and emptiness will ease up soon
Napalmakita66

Registered:
Posts: 138
 #12 
Thank you for sharing that Nicole...i can totally relate. And my Akita acted like a100lb cat sometimes too...i think they are way more complex then we'll ever know in this lifetime.
I think your heart is telling you what's right and any attempt at replacing your furry friend wouldn't be fair to anyone at this point. I'm trying to take advantage of my alone time..what else can I do? Part of me believes my boy moved on because he knew it was time for me to grow on my own..maybe make some huge life changes.
I'm gonna grieve and take time to let the process play out. I'll cry, like now, and I'll cherish the gift he was. I still keep nose prints on windows and fur too. Maybe one day I'll share my love with another but like you, now just isn't the time. All the best. Be well
Nicolemariemorris

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #13 
I hope you find peace soon, maybe our furbabies are playing together, I like to think of him doing his crazy things maybe in another life we don’t know of yet. Take your time, the pain will ease, hopefully one day instead of tears when I think of him there will be smiles at the beautiful memories that we made.
The best always get taken first, everything in this world is out of our control and I guess this was always prt of my journey, take care😊
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