Logo. Puff and Midget under the rainbow

ALL the Pet Loss Message Boards are moderated to make this an ABSOLUTELY SAFE place for you to find support.
You must REGISTER before you can post or reply.
Posts and replies cannot be viewed until after they have been checked for content & released by the Board Moderators. - EdW
Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
Sign up  |   |   |  Latest Topics

  Author   Comment  

Posts: 2

My dearest, my "Shadow", you were with me through thick and thin. My little princess, my little terror. I love you. I miss you, in just a few days you would have made it to 15, and the vet didn't think you'd make it past a few months.

You were the runt, I took you in and raised you. Got up in the middle of the night and gave you your bottle.

My little 8 oz. miracle coming home with me because your own mother turned on you. Your little eyes opened for the first time in my hand. All I did was love you and you gave me the best and worst of yourself in the nearly 15 years you called me yours.

Even when you shredded my chair and stole the food right off my plate, drank my milk out of my glass and mewed at me in annoyance when I wanted some too, even when you bit me too hard in play, and when you ignored me just because, I got upset yes, I still loved you very much.

God bless you.

May you have all the milk jug rings you can handle ;)


my Shadow, my cat, my friend

my friends have asked me if I will get another cat, I do not know if I can. I know by all of the purrs and cuddles you gave me when I was happy, that that is what you loved.... my happiness. I can never replace you my miracle, my shadow.
will my pain ease? yes.
Can I have another? I do not know.

Thank you all who read this post. If you have any insight on getting another pet in the future (no time soon I am sure). Please tell me how hard it was and is is really worth it? I am afraid I will feel like I am trying to replace her. I don't know, I am hurting and confused. I have a void in my heart now. She is the only pet I have had in my 32 years on this earth that was truly mine and I gave all of myself to.
Thanks again.

Posts: 1,198

Getting another pet is a very personal choice. From what I've read, many on this board (including me) have gotten another pet after their beloved died.

I have learned that getting another pet does not mean you love your deceased pet any less nor are you replacing your deceased pet with a new one. You will know in your heart when it is time to bring a new pet into your life. Perhaps you will be blessed to be picked by your new pet and that you won't even have to think twice about whether or not to bring the new one home with you.

I have a new cat - his name is Squeeker and like Blackie, he is a DSH black cat. I brought Squeeker home with me less than a week after Blackie passed away. Some may say that is too soon, but I am glad I did. Squeeker is a gorgeous cat with an incredibly loving heart and wonderful temperament. I do love Squeeker, but I love him differently than I loved Blackie. With Blackie, it was love at first sight on both our parts and I loved him like no other pet I've had before or probably ever will. He found a place deep in my heart the instant I laid eyes on him and the longer we were together the deeper my love grew for him. We had a truly special bond. I have had special bonds with other pets, with the two cats I had growing up and with my Rufus, the other cat in my household. Yet the bond I had with Blackie was so very different and so very special and precious. I'm not sure why that is - perhaps it is because Blackie was the first cat that was truly mine. I was the only person responsible for his happiness and his care, and we went through a lot during our short time together.

All but one of the cats in my life have been black cats, including Squeeker. He has similarities to Blackie but he is so very different from Blackie in many ways, so I really do not look upon Squeeker as a replacement for Blackie. I look upon Squeeker as his own cat, a special and unique being that for whatever reason has found a way into my life and into my heart. I am very glad Squeeker is part of my life and I am slowly starting to develop a bond with him. But I know it will take time because I am in no way over losing my precious Blackie.

Sorry for rambling on, but I guess my point is this: when your heart tells you it is time to bring another pet into your life, it will absolutely be worth it. Your relationship with Shadow shows that you have a lot of love to give. If you ever feel you are ready to share your life with another pet, it may be difficult at first because it might bring back some of the memories you had of your life with Shadow.  But I am sure you will honor your life with Shadow by giving your new fur friend unconditional love and companionship and friendship, just as you did with Shadow.

Blackie's forever mom


Posts: 190
We lost Jade, our 10yr old golden/chow mix last spring.  Just 3 days after she passed I brought home Emma, a gsd mix.  I can't help it!  She was just so darn cute...

It was the easiest decision to make for us to get another.  However, I did give Emma a bit of a cold shoulder at first, but she is persistent!  I knew that she wasn't a replacement, but it I wanted it to be similiar.  But none the less, we bonded incrediably well.  Today she is the biggest mommy's girl ever, and I wouldn't change my decision for the world.

As for Jade, that little girl is up there causing havok.  She has somehow taught her sister Emma all her antics that used to drive me crazy!  Like taking 10 minutes to find the perfect toy to bring in, sleeping on the dirty clothes instead of in bed, and the list goes on.  We have started calling her junior. 

I don't want anyone to rush right on out and get a new pet.  Instead I think people need to be open to take the plunge when the right little one appears, because it doesn't always happen on our schedule.


Posts: 258
Dear MyShadow,

Your tribute to your baby was so moving!  What love you gave your sweet girl were her savior and her Mom.  It hurts so much to lose our little ones and the pain sometimes makes us afraid to open our hearts again. I know that you miss your kitty-girl so, and I so understand your sadness! I think that you are right ~ Shadow touched your heart so that you could share your love and be happy - that IS what she wanted.  Loving another fur-baby wouldn't be replacing her, it would be passing her love on!

You will know when you are ready to open your heart again.  I can't be very helpful in that department, because I am not yet ready, even though my Max has been gone for 5 months now.  I think I will be ready again some day...just not yet.  Listen to your heart and it will guide you to do what is best for you. 

Sending you hugs,
MaxsMom - Joanne 

Posts: 774
Everyone has their own way of dealing with death. the way I deal with death is to try to save another life. So, I will rescue a kitty that needs a home.  There are just so many desperate little kitty's out there that are so needing of a good forever home. It will break your heart if you actually think about it and look around you. Look at any supermarket parkinglot by the dumpsters at night. Look and see how many homeless little babies are out there. It will surprise you. The thing is, with me anyway, I figure, okay I have a nice safe place for some little lost soul kitty to live in. That's all. I don't want to replace anyone and I am not taking in a baby (any age) for me, I am doing it to save, help ect. them. So, it is not anything but a kind thing to do that I am doing. What then happens is that I get all involved with helping the kitty and maing their life as good as it can be, so I really don't have time to grieve like I wold if they were not there. Afterall you can't take i a kitty and then cry all over them ll the time.Now somehow during this whole thing it helps me as well.
There was a time when i swore over and over that I would never ever have another pet or any living thing to care about.  I was set on that. I moved into my boyfiend's house, who was not an animal person at all. He told me when i moved in NO pets of any sorts. Ok I thought that that was good because I will never have a cat again.
I work with animals, so I allways have them anyway. So, I was working at a regular Vet hospital (I work at a specialty hospital now to avoid this kind of thing happening) Anyway I am working at a hospital and there is a 6 year old very overweight orange striped tabby and white cat (big body little head) in a cage in the back with a euthanise card on his cage. He is all the way in the back of the cage pressing his head against the wall of the cage. I reach in and pet him and he is trembling and won't look at me. So, here I am supposed to euthanise, which is not the rite word in this instance I should say kill, this poor chubby wubby cat. No way. I can't do it, and I won't do it. Apparently the family that had him got a new kitten and the adult cat was spraying in the bathtub etc. and there was blood in his urine. I call the owners and they don't care if I take him. I take him home and he is catatonic (no pun) for 3 days. I treat his urinay tract infection and he gets better. Let me tell you the first day I heard him purr was one of the best days of my life. When he finally accepted me and walked out from under his desk cage to purr and meow hello. I have him still. Even though at first I was just going to get him bette and adopt him out afterall i was not going to get a pet at all. It took about 3 months or so before I would call him my cat. this is about 3 years ago. I love that fatty big body little head cat. He is the sweetest kitty. As for my boyfriend, he built him a cattree on the 2nd day he was with us.
I recently got a kitten 5 months ago. She was a feral kitten that fell down a 35 foot well and was stuck there for 2 days. This was when she was 4 months old. I did the same thing with her. Just took her home so I could make her adoptable, and now I have another kitty. The reason I had to keep her was because my cat Rusty fell in love with he and she with him and I couldn't ever seperate them.
Sorry this is so long. But this is how I deal with the grief. Like I said you have to do what is rite for you. But do think about the fact that there is a life out there you could save. mabey if you don't want the comitment you could foster for a while.
Just a thought. I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do. And I think you could give a urball a wonderfull loving if not home at least a place to stay.

Posts: 90
Dear My Shadow:

I'm so very, very sorry for your loss.  Your tribute to your baby is very beautiful, ty for sharing.

Shadow would never ever want you to be very sad, Shadow would want you to love and be loved again.  I know for me my house is not a home without babies in it.  I need them to live and while none of them can ever replace another, I love them for the individuals they are.  They are each so uniquie and special.  At first it is a little hard because you do find yourself wishing it was your baby, comparing, afraid to give your love, worrying about every lil thing but oh yes, it's worth it!  I found what helped me most was telling my 2 lil ones all about Kato and those 2 lil bundles of energy would actually just sit and listen.  It was sooooooooooooooo cute.  Yes they do help us to heal, they bring smiles and laughter again.

We aren't replacing - we're just loving and there is nothing wrong with that - nothing at all.  I feel it's actually a tribute to our babies that have passed.  They have taught us so much. I truly do believe it helps to be with others who understand and many times after getting my pups I would talk to others like ourselves that helped me with each and every step of dealing with all different feelings that arose from getting new babies.  Sometimes, my Shadow I think I waited too long.  Follow your heart and know we are here for you.
Big Hugssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss,

Posts: 2
ty for replying.
I found the room yesterday moring and spent a couple of hours there, a couple of my co-workers and a friend all commented that I seemed different somehow, and my friend said I seemed to be more at peace with the world somehow.

I didn't realize how much of a difference a compationate ear could bring to me.

I know it wasn't my fault but I couldn't help feel it.
It helped a lot to hear that it wasn't.
I have but one true regret, I do not have many pic's of her and none recent.

I feel blessed to have met so many wonderful and kind hearted people engaged in this site.

IF I do get another cat, I will be sure to take lots of pics so that I may not have that regret again, and I will be sure to share them.

Posts: 26
Dear MyShadow,
  First let me say I am so sorry for your loss.  I too lost my beautiful boy cat Mystic only 8 weeks ago.  I am still blessed to have two dogs and another cat.  However my dogs are 11 and my other cat is 13.  I loved my baby boy Mystic and thought I would not ever get another or at least "not now".  I thought I would be fine with the other three here.  But honestly, I have felt that void as well.  I also fear that because my other babies are so old that I will have an empty house all to quickly and I did not want to face that.  Our animals are lent to us for a short time and I think the joy they give us makes them the special part of our lives they are.  I was afraid to even look as you said in fear that it would seem I was replacing my baby Mystic.
    Well, I can never replace my Mystic, but I can share my love with another who needs it.  Today, just today, we brought home Sammy.  He is a beautiful big 18 lb.  tabbu dsh.  He is just perfect.  He is calm, loves the kids, loves the dogs and the other cat.  He is sitting on my lap as I type this and is purring like wildfire.  You will know in your own time.  Your heart will tell you.  LIsten to your heart and it will guide you.  Good luck to you and heal your heart.

Posts: 104
I am so sorry for your loss.  I recently had to lose Fred.  He was fourteen with kidney failure - I had him from 3-4 weeks old from a drug users pocket, he was tiny, flea ridden and anaemic and had to be fed formula from a pipette.  He had fourteen happy years, some of them wasn't living with me as I left him with my parents where he was settled with a garden away from the road etc when I moved around, but I used to visit everyday and we were very close.   I got two sister kittens at my own place and lost Pip four years ago of a stroke aged 2.   I was more shocked to lose Pip than Fred because of his age, but both losses hurt even now as they were unique characters that I loved very much.

I have always had cats, they turn up when you least expect them to in various states of want or neglect, and cannot imagine a home without a cat in it.

You can never replace your Shadow and I can never replace Pip or Fred, but you can share your life and love with another kitty that NEEDS YOU and one day you might find that YOU NEED a cat.  They are not just animals that live with us, they are companions and little friends that we can get along with better with than some humans, and to me they are my children. 

There will be a day in the future when you will only have happy thoughts of your Shadow and remember the love you shared and be glad you did, not sad you did.  When you get past the raw pain and miss what made you love Shadow, you may find that you feel like loving another that deserves what Shadow was lucky enough to have for so long.  Only you will know when that is.

Best wishes and peace to you. 

Posts: 11
The decision to get a new furry is one that can only be made by the person adding to the family. For us it was 30 days to the date we put our girl down. Some of it had to do with stress for the other Dog, and it was a good time during summer break. And yes I missed having my own dog. I loved Shiloh and think of her often but I needed a new little friend to laugh with and watch grow. I would say you will know when it is time. We did.

Once again Sorry for your loss. best wishes

Posts: 1,910
I am so sorry for your loss, your wonderful tribute brought tears to my eyes.  A love like that is a jewel in life, well do you know.

Unlike some of the others who have responded to  your post, I say--- do adopt another one!!

You have so much love to give, there are so many babies out there in desperate need of a home, please do open your heart to another.  It won't be, can't possibly be a replacement, but it would show your beloved departed one just how much the love that you shared meant: that you will seek out a variation of that love again with another needing sentient furred being.

Do it sooner, do it later (I vote for sooner!), but don't let the chance go by.  With all the misery in this world, any way that we can add love is a wonderful thing to make the world better. 

And, I must add, do it just the tiniest little bit sooner than you think you are ready.  If you wait until it looks *perfectly* right to you, you will very likely have passed up days or weeks of love and companionship that would be a balm to your aching soul.
Previous Topic | Next Topic

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

If you can, please help support this Message Board with a donation: