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em_jay_93

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Posts: 1
 #1 
Hello everyone,

First of all .. my heart goes out to all of you dealing with the loss of your fur baby.. may they rest in paradise with all the other angels.

We lost our dog about a month ago. He got out (like Houdini.. to this day I cant wrap my head around how he squeezed out).  What followed was the worst week of my life to date. We searched endlessly.. I became obsessed.. I drove around every few hours for about an hour just calling his name.. pulling over to trek through bushes.. I took days off work to search for him. I couldn't function properly.

I did all the normal things.. FB posts, posters, emails, missing pet alerts, calling vets constantly. There had been a post immediately after he'd gone missing that a similar looking dog had been hit by a car but had kept running. Believe me, we searched that area at least 10 times. I went there myself daily and just sat in my car crying.

A week later, my partner was out with our other dog and she pulled him into the bushes, right near where he had supposedly seen last. She pulled and pulled and my partner just knew.. he said he could smell death... and there he was, his body lay there the whole time.. that whole week I spent convincing myself he was coming back and the anger I felt in not being able to find him quick enough..  I guess we should of taken her out sooner, but I guess we weren't thinking straight either.

Due to his brindle coat, he just camouflaged with the dry bush. I still can't believe we didn't see him. I could swear I'd looked in that same spot many times.  


The next day we buried him. We couldn't move him :( we basically had to put dirt on top of him where he lay. 

His last moments as I imagine them haunt me daily. I am riddled with anxiety and find myself imagining the loss of other things I love.  He was such a special boy, the sookiest, laziest greyhound cross you'd ever meet. He was everyone's bestest buddy. My heart aches at the sight of photos and videos. It feels so unfair that I don't get to have him in my life anymore.

I feel so much guilt. Like I could have done more to keep him safe. And the "what ifs" are so hard to stop.  I've gone through the loss of a few pets, most of them were from old age.. however this is the second time within a year that a dog that I consider to be "mine" has ran away and not come back. The other, we still do not know where he is (please do not cast judgement, these are two very separate events, on two different ends of the country, two very different types of dogs.. two very traumatic experiences).

I can't believe I have gone through this twice in my life. It is one thing to see your baby live out their last days as an aged pup..(I am not discounting the pain of this, I have been through this, I understand ) but another to see their life snatched from them so prematurely.. and for it to be so horrendous.. maybe I could of dealt better had we found him sooner? Who knows..

I thought I was doing OK but sitting and thinking about how ive felt for the past week.. I would describe it as mostly empty and highly anxious. My life is great other than this yet I cannot appreciate it fully.. not right now... I don't really expect anyone to know the right thing to say but just writing this out makes me feel a tiny bit better.



Loudpurring

Registered:
Posts: 774
 #2 
I am truly sorry for your loss.

I am fairly sure he died when he was hit by the car. The body can keep going after the soul is gone. I am sure you have heard of dear getting hit that continue to run. If he had still been alive you would of found him. There was no suffering involved. Just happy dog running then happy dog running in heaven.

Try to find comfort in the good memories you have. Allow yourself time to grieve as this is so hard.

I am sorry
pb313

Registered:
Posts: 104
 #3 
I am so very sorry for your loss. May you find peace.
Paula- Raider’s mom
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