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rnj79

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Posts: 13
 #1 
Last Friday, July 13th, everything was fine. But the next morning wasn't. My husband had been on a turnaround for over a month and working straight nights. Instead of making our 2 doxies, Abby and Boudreaux sleep in their kennels at night, I let them in our bed. They made me feel safe and secure. I woke up Saturday morning, July 14th, to Abby, our 13-year-old doxie, vomiting over the side of the bed. I immediately carried her outside.

She felt lousy. She did not eat, nor drink. It took her a long time to find a comfortable position after coming back inside. It was not normal for her to turn down food, but I wasn't concerned. She continued to vomit over the next couple of hours. I still wasn't too concerned. It happens, right? Dogs have episodes of upset tummies just like we do. I thought she was ok.

Around 3 pm, she started becoming lethargic and continued vomiting. My husband decided to not go to work. We took her to the ER. She was on Rimadyl 2-3 times a week to help keep her arthritis pain at ease. The ER vet did some labs. Her ALT (liver enzymes) were elevated and she was a "little" dehydrated, but they thought she was ill from the Rimadyl. She received subcutaneous fluids and 2 anti-nausea injections. They sent us home.

We were home for about 2 hours when she had a seizure. She had never had one before! We rushed back to the ER. This time, it was a different doctor. He told us that in dogs her age, the most common cause for seizures are brain tumors. We went from an upset tummy from Rimadyl to a brain tumor in a matter of minutes. They admitted her for the rest of the weekend and we would carry her to our family vet Monday morning. We left our baby there, at the hospital and came home feeling soo empty and scared. The ER doctor called Sunday morning to tell us Abby had another seizure right after we left and another right before he called. She went all day Sunday without any. We picked her up Monday morning to bring her to our vet. She was so out of it. They had her on Valium for the seizures. She was on Robaxin. She was on steroids and another kind of painkiller. She had no clue of her surroundings or who we even were. Her eyes looked empty. She also had a lifelong battle with IVDD and the ER doc thought she could have been in pain from that. I cannot get that image out of my head.

We made it to our family vet. She was planning to run a battery of blood tests, a urine test, and give Abby some more IV fluids. She even suggested that if Abby remained stable for the day and if her labs were within manageable limits, Abby could "possibly" come home for the night. We stayed with her for a while- got in lots of snuggles and told her how much we loved her many times. And left.

I got a call from the vet about an hour later. Abby started having another seizure. Her heart was still beating but they could not get her to breathe. We rushed back up there. She was gone. Gone! Our Abby, who was supposed to come home that night, was GONE!

I come here 8-1/2 years after our beloved Moe Joe went to Rainbow Bridge. I struggled for months with his unexpected death. I really found comfort on this forum from people just like me. Abby was only 5 when he left. She started aging from that point on. 11 months after Moe died, we opened our hearts to another puppy- Boudreaux. He will be 8 on October 1st.

I really need yall's help. Today is one week since Abby left us. I am struggling. I feel like I'm sinking in a boat without a paddle. The waves keep hitting me like a wrecking ball. Abby is everywhere in this house. I had to put all of her blankets, beds, food dish, etc up. Seeing it all without her here just tore me up. I even relocated the water dish and food bowl Boudreaux uses. And him... he looks for her. He is missing her. I wish I could explain to him, but I cannot even comprehend it myself. I am so grateful to have him. He has been giving extra sloppy wet kisses. And when I'm crying- he knows.

Please help me...
KFitch

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #2 
Hi there. I too am in a sinkhole that seems helpless. I wish I had advice as I am losing myself on a daily basis. My other dogs watch me cry too. I know I am not doing them any favors. I’ve been reading a book that had told me to talk them when I’m upset. I do that too, so at least they know why I’m crying. I don’t think it will ever get better. The only thing that keeps me somewhat sane is that I know my other babies love and depend on me just like Marla did. So for them, I have to go on.
Dogsarepeopletoo

Registered:
Posts: 106
 #3 
Mj: I am terribly sorry -- few things are harder than watching a pet struggle with failing health; and it's hard when it is sudden like that. I am so sorry you had to go through that with your beloved pooch. I'm so glad your Boudreaux is giving you kisses and comfort. Poor guy probably missed his buddy.

I have no words that will make it better other than I know how you feel. Our dog was fine on Wednesday am; collapsed that day; and dead on Friday. It was devastating and I know that dealing of despair after the loss. I knew it would be hard some day when Annie passed away but I never dreamed I would be AS hard. It has been a few weeks for me; and it's still difficult but I feel like I can see a light. There are moments of sobbing; moments when I opened the glove box in our car today and found a roll of cleanup bags and felt horribly sad.

Please be kind to yourself -- come here and vent and cry. We all understand
pb313

Registered:
Posts: 104
 #4 
I am so very sorry for your loss. I have no silver bullet for the pain but know I care.
rnj79

Registered:
Posts: 13
 #5 
Thank you all for your kind words.
Abby was without a doubt, our heart dog. She had the sweetest temperament. She gave lots of kisses and her tail never stopped wagging, until the Saturday she became ill. My husband and I always said when she stopped eating and that tail stopped wagging, we'd "know", but we never thought the day would come. She was supposed to be here forever. She was soo out of it the last 2 days of her life from medication. I can only hope she knows we would have saved her if we could have. We tried our best.

I hate this with a passion. There are no words that describe how broken and empty my heart feels. 

I hate that we are all here for the same reason. I am thankful though, for all you kind and understanding souls. Compassion goes a long way and it is definitely felt on this forum <3 
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