Registered: 1212435488 Posts: 1
We had 3 one year old cats that live primarily in our garage. As you can imagine, it is a challenge to make sure they are all safe when we are moving vehicles in and out of the garage. I usually physically bring them in our house. Yesterday, my children and I were out of town and my husband had to use our suburban. To make a long story short, he couldn't find them and they wouldn't come out so he proceeded to leave the garage. Two of the cats were apparently up inside the vehicle and the third was hiding elsewhere. At any rate, one of the cats was run over and killed. He says instantly, thank goodness.
He feels so guilty and distraught. I do forgive him but I know he feels badly because I called him and sent a text message asking him to put them inside before he left. He tried, but they didn't cooperate. Imagine cats doing what they please. Our daughters were very sad and upset, but not angry at their father. I am not angry either, though I was at first. Thankfully, I didn't voice my anger. I am grieivng for our poor sweet baby kitty-Frosting, but am also grieivng for my husband. We are so grateful for the time we had with this cat and she died knowing she was loved. She can never be replaced but we are fortunate we have others to love and keep us busy. Has this happened to anyone else and how can I help my family be "ok" with this loss. My husband loved this cat and she loved him! As I write, my 12 year is crying>
Registered: 1157161163 Posts: 1,821
i am sorry for your family's loss. Loosing one of these precious souls is never easy. i have never faced this exact accident - but we have faced loosing babies to accidents. i had one i took in for a neuter and initial shots - knowing he had been recently chased by a cat killing dog (luckily he was faster) and he paniced because the vet also has dogs around so he could hear and smell dog. When he paniced he attached himself to the top of the vet tech's head all four sets of claws and teeth, and he bit another tech who tried to assist him to remove the cat. Rabies were at a high at that time - and the bites were severe. So legally we had no choice - he had to be tested for rabies - that meant he had to be PTS. It took me a long time to accept that it was just a freak accident, for a long time i blamed myself - for not waiting, for not going in the back with him as a known calming presence for him, all of the what ifs and if onlys. The sad fact is accidents happen, we simply cannot foresee and prevent them all. Be there for your hubby, reassure him, allow hi to/help him to express his grief, and bring him here. Beyond this all i can say is it will take time. Know you have my prayers. May peace and tranquility be you companions on this path, ghattenwolf
Registered: 1198872932 Posts: 1,205
First of all I am so sorry. My condolences to you and your family, I can imagine how your poor husband is feeling.
My sister had 2 very old cats, and one of them, Daisy had a habit of lying under cars. It was ok because all the family knew this and would check under their cars before leaving. My sisters youngest son is a firefighter, and he called in at my sisters for a cuppa. He got a shout while he was there and run out to his car and started to drive out of the yard, I think you can guess the rest. He was inconsolable, and the poor guy had to go to work. Of course, my sister was distraught, but how could she blame her son, perhaps she was angry to start with. These accidents happen, however careful we are, and as you say, cats have a mind of their own. I am so sorry. Thinking of you, Love Di xxx
Registered: 1208561808 Posts: 30
I lost my youngest cat, Tash, in a freak accident almost 2 months ago.
He was sleeping on one of the shelves in my closet, and he got caught up in a coathanger while climbing down and choked himself. I keep telling myself that there's no way I could have seen this accident happening and it wasn't my fault, but even 2 months later I still wonder if I could have done something to prevent this. If only I hadn't hung any clothes on the bottom rung (my shelf has 2 bars, one higher and one lower)...if only I had a lock on the closet door so he couldn't get in there (even if the door was closed, he'd stick his paw under it and pull it open)...if only I'd kept my bedroom door shut so he couldn't get in there in the first place... etc. Time does seem to help a bit. The pain isn't as raw and fresh as it first was. But even though I still have Tash's three older sisters, Willow, Zoey and Aimee, it still hurts that Tash isn't around anymore, and I sure do miss him. Even with a houseful of cats, there's such a hole without Tash. Lisa