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davet753

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Posts: 1
 #1 
In my mind, it is hard to imagine a time when I did not have Jake by my side. This is a miserable time for me right now, as I have an appointment on Monday to take my dog to the vet and let him go.

Jake was a stray dog, a small beagle who found his way to my door many years ago. When he came to me, he was walking poorly due to a displaced hip, and his demeanor made it evident that he had been abused.  But, as my veterinarian said, "He sure found the gravy train when decided to come to you".

He slowly began to trust me, and it didn't take long for me to realize that I had something special in Jake and that it was entirely different level than I had experienced with any other dog that came before him. For years, he came to work with me every day, and we spent almost 24 hours a day with each other. His loyal and faithful friendship helped sustain me in the hard times, like when I lost my brother and father in 2001. Jake always trusted me no matter what, even when I met my partner who moved in with us and brought along another dog and several cats.  Instead of Jake taking offense at the new animals in his home, he just treated them all like brothers and sisters. As Jake grew older, it has always fascinated me to see the cats watching out for Jake, like they look up to him and want to protect him.

It has been hard for me...watching Jake grow old and feeble.  His hearing started to go year before last, and he went blind in his left eye. Our vet had to pull most of his teeth last summer, and she found several tumors shortly thereafter. I was told that, what with his age and all, there wasn't anything they could do for him.

Within the last month, I have watched Jake loose his vision in his good eye, loose weight despite his hearty appetite, and 2 weeks ago I had to start putting him in diapers as his bladder control worsened. Monday night, the 12th, he was having a really hard time breathing so I took him to the vet Tuesday morning. I was so scared she would confirm what I all ready knew in my heart.

Jake has no quality of life right now. He can't hardly walk, and he wakes up several times in the night, barking in fear because he can't hear me or see his surroundings.  I can get up, reach down and touch him, and he goes back to sleep again, safe in the knowledge that we are nearby. He bravely struggles to keep on going, but the struggle is now too much for him to sustain.

An appointment has been made for Monday at 2:30 for Jake with the Doctor that has seen him for over 15 years. At that time, I will pet his precious head and hold his paw one last time as I give him back to God.  This has been the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I finally came to realize that I am keeping Jake living for ME and my comfort, and not for HIM and his welfare. I cannot allow my selfishness to keep Jake here and him suffering.... just so I won't have to face his death.

There is a line in a song I heard that says, "The days dwindle down to a precious few"....so it is for Jake and I.  We have but a few more days with Jake, and I intend on making the most of it.  The vet gave me some medicine to help his heart and make his breathing easier, so I am going to take him out visiting some of the people he has known down thru the years so they can say their goodbyes. Jake's favorite food was always a hamburger, so he will get some of those this weekend.  He will spend a lot of time quietly napping in my lap, and he will have almost constant attention from his family of humans, cats, and dogs.

Inevitably, Monday will come and Jake will leave me. Oh, how I dread that. I pray God gives me the strength to do what I must do.
Nancee

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Posts: 1,328
 #2 
I know what you're going through. It's very heart breaking--watching your pet get sick and feeling helpless.
I'm sure Jake knows how much you care about him. They just know. Sounds like you 2 are very bonded together.
I know what you mean by keeping them here for ourselves. W/ my little cat who passed away in January, we kept her going longer than we should have. My husband just couldn't let her go--I guess I couldn't either. We have other ill animals, too.
You'll get through it--but it is very hard. Jake knows you love him alot. That's what matters most. Take care.
tonilit

Registered:
Posts: 331
 #3 

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.Jake knows how much you love and care about him. many (((((((((((((((()))))))))))))s

efox

Registered:
Posts: 45
 #4 

What a wonderful life Jake has had since meeting you! you have blessed his life too. be thankful for having him as long as you did. i lost my constant companion, Savanna i had for 15 years just this last Wednesday, and oh it hurts, i can't believe she is gone. but i know that she knew how much i loved her because i told her that everyday and she was the queen of the household for 15 years. life is not the same without our best friends. i was trying to think of the one word that descriped my Savanna and it was "constant" because she was always steady fast, you know, not changing, a sure thing, always there at home to listen to me always there when no one else was i could count on her, my constant companion. my heart goes out to you; i will pray for you and Jake. please live it up this weekend and thank the heavens above that he came into you life. God Bless you and Jake.  Elaine

Gruntsmomforever

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Posts: 699
 #5 
Dear Davet,

My heart is aching for you, I'm so sorry that you are bidding your Beloved Jake farewell.  Your post is a touching tribute to a wonderful little Beagle boy and the special and long life that you have shared with each other.  You were meant to be together.

Keeping you and Jake in my thoughts and prayers,
Katharine, Grunt's Mom Forever
mykittygirl

Registered:
Posts: 881
 #6 
Dear Dave,

My heart breaks for you...what a wonderful friend you and Jake have in each other and your love for him is obvious. I know how very difficult Monday will be and my prayers and thoughts will be with you.

Jake knows how much you love him and giving him such a beautiful weekend spending precious time together will in time provide you with many warm memories. You will be freeing Jake's bright spirit from his worn-out body but the essence of who Jake is will never die.

Bless you for giving this wonderful animal such a loving home and huge bragging rights when he reaches the Bridge.

Many many hugs,

Donna
katebock

Registered:
Posts: 686
 #7 
Dear Dave

I just want you to know that I am sorry.  You and your beloved Jake are in my thoughts and prayers.  May God be with you and help you through this sad time.

Hugs
Kate (Gus' mom)

HerbiesMom

Registered:
Posts: 196
 #8 
Jake hit the jackpot when he found you.  You gave him a life he never would have had and it sounds like it's been a very good life.

My thoughts and prayers will be with you and Jake on Monday.

Herbie and Belle's Mom


MaxsMom

Registered:
Posts: 258
 #9 
You and your beloved Jake are in my thoughts and prayers.  You have made a very courageous and loving decision, and I so understand how difficult this has got to be for you.  My heart goes out to you. What a special love you and your boy share, and what a wonderful blessing to have been together for 20 years.  I firmly believe that our bonds with our precious ones go beyond this earth.  Your love for Jake and his for you will last always. 

Sending many hugs to you and Jake.
MaxsMom
Steve1492

Registered:
Posts: 189
 #10 
Davet

I know your heart is breaking.  Inside that breaking heart you know you are doing the right thing for Jake.  You are ending his suffering and taking it upon yourself and it is one of the hardest best decisions you will ever have to make. 

The song you refered to is called "September Song" and like all living creatures, Jake came from God and will return to God.  His days here were many and I know you will miss him very much. 

Jake shall be restored to perfection and he will see you again when you are called home.  In time, you'll focus more on the joy of that day of reunion than the terrible pain you will feel on Monday. 

He knows how much you love him and he takes that love with him to the bridge.  Our furchildren don't need their ears or eyes to know what we feel, only their heart. 

Peace to you and as we have been for years and years, we will be here for you when you need us.

Steve1492 / Music Wolf
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