Registered: 1230401278 Posts: 332
I don't visit you all very often! For some who don't know me or remember, I lost Sadie on 12/26/08 suddenly, due to an issue with pancreatitis. It went down in a matter of days. She was only 8 1/2 yrs (yellow lab). I was in the dark gloomy place many of you are in for months. Foster dogs helped give me some happiness, but not joy. I wanted a dog of my own, but I missed Sadie so much I couldn't do it. I adopted Jake 8/30/09. Many of you recall the questions I had -- was it too soon? Will I bond with him? What's my problem? You all gave me assurances to give it time, and I did. THANK YOU!
It took me a while. We just went through the motions for a few months. I didn't dislike him, but I felt conflicted. I still wanted Sadie back. Well, I still want her back, but I love Jake, too! He's brought me joy again. It's different, but it's still Joy. It probably even took me until after the one year anniverary date (right after Christmas), to let my heart fully open to him, but it did. I enjoy that he is different in so many ways -- he's my goofy lug of a boy. He sits on me, lays his head (or his butt) on my stomach, he's always lying in the way. He rolls around on his back with a squeaky toy. He burps. He's obsessed with swimming. He doesn't lick me. Sadie was a licker and enjoyed swimming only to cool off. She preferred sunbathing. I love them both. Yeah! So, I am doing well. I do come on here from time to time to see how others I knew, others who supported me through the rough times are doing. From time to time I post or send a private message, but not often. I should. So many of you were, and still are, my family. My biggest supporters. So, you are all in my hearts. My advice for you all in that dark hole -- try to find some joy anywhere. Give it time, but keep your eyes open. Take chances. Get more help if you can't get out. Lots of people are on this site, and out there in the world who care. Sometimes you have to look. Sometimes, it's another (different) pet who does the trick. Sometimes, it's a counselor. Sometimes, a friend, a child.... I still miss Sadie terribly, but it's not an all consuming grief like before. It's back on the shelf in my head, along with the grief of losing my grandmother and others. Thanks to all of you for supporting me, and for continuing to support everyone new to our family on this site. Jennifer (and Jake)
Registered: 1228234766 Posts: 347
That's great that you are sharing your heart with another dog. He sounds like quite a character. My loss was very near your loss of Sadie. I lost my cat Squeakers on Nov. 13, 2008(one year ago tomorrow). It was also very sudden. I still come back here from time to time to read others posts and respond when I can, because I know how tough it was for me in those early days. I agree, it does get easier, but that longing is still(and always will be) there. I'm glad Jake has brought you so much joy. Sadie must be so proud of you!
Registered: 1271859354 Posts: 214
Your words and stories are very encouraging and give me hope. :) Thank you for sharing.
Registered: 1253813053 Posts: 1,523
Isn't it wonderful to have Joy in your Heart. They say that Grief expands the chambers of our Hearts, so that more and more Love can come in. The most important thing to Sadie is to have Her Dear Mother Happy. Jake will start a chapter in your Heart. I know Sadie is so Happy for Her Momma. God bless. Love, Mayme ~ Sammy's Mommy
Registered: 1236028082 Posts: 1,066
I was so happy to see you here on the boards. It's wonderful to see how far you have come. Jake sounds like a love. Boy, we really went through some difficult times together. I, too have joy again, but like you said, it's different. Lucy is almost a year old and she is as big as Tiffany now. She's quite a handful and loves to bite Tiffany's ears, tail and legs. I have to separate them a lot. I miss Cleo in her old body, but I can't even begin to tell you how similar Lucy is to Cleo. It's almost 2 years for Cleo too. I'm glad you were there when I needed you the most. You helped me a lot and I hope I helped you too. Sadie isn't very far away. She loves you and she brought Jake to you. Try to not be a stranger and thanks again. Sleep peacefully, Pam SADIE SWEETHEART, YOUR MOMMY LOVES YOU TO PIECES AND SHE ALSO LOVES JAKE. YOU GAVE HER JOY AGAIN. STAY CLOSE TO HER.
Registered: 1245859572 Posts: 2,123
Jennifer ~ It's so good to hear from you again. Your Jake sounds like a sweetheart. I'm so glad you've found joy again. And thank you for the support you gave me when I needed it so desperately. Hugs, Lori
Registered: 1219887733 Posts: 11,059
Very good seeing a post from you!! I think about you off and on and remember the picture of you and Sadie. Jake sounds like a hoot! He is winning you over with his silly Jake ways. How sweet is that!! I hope you will visit us more often. There aren't too many regulars here any longer and I miss hearing from them.
Mare precious Christoph ~ 2 years now ~
Registered: 1222403429 Posts: 1,982
So glad to see a note from you. I'll never forget that wonderful photo of you and Sadie and was so hoping you would put one on of you and Jake. As you described him I had to laugh, he sounds like such a "boy", it's a guy thing :-} My Max is such a "boy" too. So different from my little girl Murphy. He's a licker and she was not, and I didn't like all the surprise licks he would give me being a perfect aim to my lips so unexpectedly. Yick! Now I ask him for a kiss and love each and every one. He acts like a boy, looks like a little boy, just pure boy. I really laughed at Jake's burping LOL, you don't get much more boyish than that! Sadie and Murphy were all "girl" with all their precious qualities. But now I know my heart can love a boy just as much (or almost) as little girls. You are doing so well, and I feel I am too, "now". But that was really a rough time, for a very long time. For all of us. Take care, and if you get a chance, post a picture of your little boy :-} Sandie
Registered: 1231952942 Posts: 398
I do remember you and your Sadie. It was not long after my Gizmo died in October of that same year. Yes, it took me along time also. Sadie and Gizmo are our heartdogs and to loose them too soon is devastating. Gizmo was 6 years old when he died from CHF if you remember. It is so good to here from you and know that your doing fine with Jake. I too have been getting closer with our new one " Dino". Dino is the same breed as Gizmo but acts differently most of the time. Once in a while he will do something like Gizmo that leaves me with a smile. I could not ask for anything better. As you said with Sadie that you will always miss her. I think that's good. I still miss and love my Gizmo and always will. I still do my remembering game with him and still pray at his gravesight each night. I kind of forgot but will now add you Sadie and Jack to my nightly blessings list. Gizmo and Sadie may be gone from our sight but remain forever in our hearts. GOD Bless Jeff