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AngelCareOne

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #1 
Alex - May 1, 1993 to October 16, 2007
 
Dearest Alex, "Once I had the rarest rose that ever deigned to bloom. Cruel winter chilled the bud and stole my flower too soon." You're that rarest rose, my Darling Alex. My heart beats for you and bleeds for you so still falls the rain.
 
I promised you that I'd always be there to protect you and keep you from the cold. I failed. Please forgive me! But, now "the floor of Heaven is laid with stars as bright as gold; They shine for you and burn for all to see!" I know you can't come back and set my spirit free but your spirit is free and that's what matters most. I Love You!
 
 
Alex, I truly thought I'd see you again. But "the plans they made put an end to you." I should have known. There were so many 'red flags' and I didn't see them. If only I had known then what I know now. I could have prevented them from taking you and none of this would have ever happened. I'm so sorry! 
 
"Won't you look down upon me, Jesus? Will you help me make a stand and just get me through another day? Yes, my body's aching and my time is at hand so I don't know how I'll make it any other way. You know I've seen fire and rain and sunny days that I thought would never end." Even though I'm alone, I've never in my life felt lonely until I lost you, Sweet Alex. I miss you so much!
 
You're the very best friend I've ever had both human and animal. I can still remember our simple conversations, your funny, mischievous little pranks, your laughter and your tears. I remember the last words you said to me over and over again as you kissed me loudly, "I Love You! I Love You! I Love You!" Alex, I Love You, Too! 
 
I just always thought I'd see you at least one more time again ... 
 
 
Dearest Alex,
 
"Sorry I never told you all I wanted to say. And now it's too late to hold you 'cause you've flown away. So far away. Never had I imagined living without your smile. Feeling and knowing you hear me. It keeps me alive. Alive!

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven like so many friends we've lost along the way. And I know eventually we'll be together One Sweet Day!

Darling, I never showed you. Assumed you'd always be there. I took your presence for granted. But I always cared! And I miss the love we shared!

Although the sun will never shine the same again, I'll always look to a brighter day. Lord, I know when I lay me down to sleep, You will always listen as I pray.

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven like so many friends we've lost along the way. And I know eventually we'll be together One Sweet Day!
 
Sorry I never told you all I wanted to say ... "
 
 
And Alex, "Who can say for certain maybe you're still here. I feel you all around me. Your memory's so clear. Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak. You're still an inspiration. Can it be? That you are mine. Forever Love. And you are watching over me from up above!
 
Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star. I wish upon tonight to see you smile! If only for a while to know you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are.
 
Are you gently sleeping here inside my dream? And isn't faith believing all power can't be seen. As my heart holds you just one beat away, I cherish all you gave me everyday!
 
'Cause you are my Forever Love watching me from up above and I believe that Angels breathe and that love will live on and never leave!
 
Fly me up to where you are, beyond the distant star! I wish upon tonight to see you smile if only for a while to know you're there! A breath away's not far to where you are!"
 
Most Precious Alex, Thank You for the very best 15 years, 5 months and 11 days of my life. Mere words cannot express how sorry I am that your life was cut so short. You were so very dear, sweet, loving, playful, intelligent, compassionate, trusting with such a kind and gentle mind and soul. You did not deserve what happened to you.
 
All three of them are now being held accountable for what they did, Alex. I promised you'd have earthly justice as long as there was one breath left in my body. That's what friends are for. Best friends! As for Heavenly Justice? Well, that's not my call but I'm sure that God will take care of it.
 
I'll meet you at the Rainbow Bridge, Alex! Until then, play, sing, dance, talk up a storm and have lots of fun. Party on and Be Happy! Okay? I Love You My Best Friend, Constant Companion and Feather Child!
 
All My Love Eternally,
Angel xoxoxox
 
 

basil

Registered:
Posts: 1,205
 #2 
What beautiful words for a very handsome boy.  Love of his Mummies heart.  Dear Alex, I dont know what has happened to cause you to have to leave, but your Mummies heart is breaking and she doesnt know what to do.  Please give her one more kiss if you can.
I am so sorry for the loss of Alex, he looks so sweet in his tuxedo.  I can feel the pain you are in, and just wish that I could help you in some way.  When you feel able, perhaps you will tell us what happened.  Thinking of you and sending you much love, Di xxx
AngelCareOne

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #3 

In case someone is reading this and wondering what happened to Alex, he was ... Am I allowed to say "murdered" on this board? Alex was murdered.
 
I live in a very small townhouse community consisting of 3 buildings with six two story houses in each building. Even though we share a common wall, these are houses and I do own my home.
 
All three buildings of six houses each were tented for fumigation on 10/12/2007 so the occupants and/or residents needed to be gone until October 14, 2007, when we were allowed safely back in our homes.
 
The HOA (home owner association) president of over one year found a hotel where I could stay. That was the first 'red flag' that I missed. I'll explain if you care to hear but him finding me that room was a big 'caution' and I didn't see it.
 
The "new" management company owner who I did not know and had never met phoned me to tell me she had found a lady who would take care of my doggie, kitty and parrot for the 3 days that I'd need to be gone. That the charge would be $100 and it must be cash and not a check. The management lady refused to give me the caregiver's last name and address so I tried to get it from the caregiver when she came to pick up my pets and the management lady drove me herself to my hotel room on Oct. 11, 2007.
 
It was pretty chaotic and both the caregiver lady and the management lady kept changing the subject whenever I tried to get a last name and address but I did get the caregiver's phone number. It turned out to be a cell number. Here we have 2 more 'red flags.' One is that they both refused to give me the caregiver's last name and another is that the phone number turned out to be a cell phone number. I suppose another 'red flag' would be that the $100 had to be in cash, not a check and the management lady told me I needed to give it to her while she checked me into the motel room using her own driver's license and signature.
 
Why did she insist I give the cash to her and not the caregiver lady and why right then and not after I got my pets back? I sent everything with each pet that they would possibly need or desire except for the water. I'm serious. Everything.
 
Why didn't I scream right then, "Stop! Wait, a minute. You say you know the caregiver and vouch for her but I don't know either of you and take me to my fur and feather kids right now!" But, I didn't. I did call the caregiver lady twice a day from my hotel to see how my doggie, kitty and parrot were doing. I was mostly worried about Alex parrot so the hotel owner was kind and let me use his cell phone twice a day during my stay since the rooms didn't have phones, there was no phone within walking distance and I've never even owned a cell phone. 
 
When it was time to come back home on October 14, 2007, I was to meet the caregiver lady as she promised to deliver my pets back to me. It was around 6:45 PM and still light outside when I got back home only to find that the management lady and caregiver lady were inside my home and the place looked like it had been bulldozed. No, not a mess. It was cleaned up and clean out. Oh My Gosh.
 
I didn't want to make any waves since my pets weren't there and caregiver lady continued to haul stuff out of my home while the management lady told me that caregiver had cleaned my house for me and I "should" give her more money. By the way, the caregiver lady does house cleaning for a living.
 
When I asked where my fur and feather kids were, the caregiver lady said she needed help transporting them, that she'd take care of them and bring them to me the next day.
 
On October 15th, the caregiver lady gave me the same story that she needed help transporting my pets and promised to bring them to me the next day. I did express great concern. This was a very sweet, nice lady with a really cheerful lilting voice and disposition but of course I was concerned.
 
When I called her the next day (Oct. 16, 2007), I finally reached her in the early afternoon and she gave me the same story. Okay! At that point, I was way more than concerned since no one would even tell me where she lives so I can make arrangements to get my pets and bring them home.
 
A little over an hour after my call to the caregiver lady on Oct. 16, 2007, I got a mystery call out of nowhere. A female asked me if my name was .... Yes, that's me. Then she asked me, "Do you have a dog named Buddy and a cat named Styx?" I began shouting. OMG! Are they all right?! What happened to them?! Where are they?! Who are you?!" The lady was very dear and said they were both fine and were right there. Her name was Dana and she was calling from the county pound located many miles away and not the one close by.
 
Note: I'm not saying any of the three culprit's names even though they have been charged and it's a matter of public record set for trial. I just don't know if giving those name is allowed here. Back to where I was ...
 
Dana further explained that the caregiver lady was positively identified as the person who brought in my pets, said they were strays, filled out papers okaying them to be euthanized (killed), they had copies of photo ID and so forth. Fortunately for me and my fur kids, the caregiver lady was too ignorant and didn't think to remove my dog's and cat's current tags which led them both right back to me. Dana is a real Angel. Bless her!

I did not know that Alex parrot was not at the pound until I got there myself the next day to bring them all home. One of the responding police officers had assured me the evening before that Alex was also there. I fell apart and became hysterical in public at the pound since Alex had never even been there. So unlike me but I sure did scream like a banshee. I even went into physical shock within a short time after that (within a week or so?) and had to be treated. 

The three culprits tried to feed me different stories as to where Alex was. They couldn't even get their stories straight. That was it. Enough! I had to make more than one police report since some of what they did was felonious and other things misdemeanors and civil matters.
 
I left out a ton of things trying to be as brief as possible and I sure hope what I've said so far will help others out there to never, never made the horrible mistakes I did.
 
Now, I know what happened to Alex and there isn't enough Kleenex on this planet ...
 
That's all for now. Thank you for listening.
 
Always,
Angel xxx
 

AngelCareOne

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #4 
Thank you so very much, Di. Big Hugs! Bless You!
 
Always,
Angel xoxoxox
basil

Registered:
Posts: 1,205
 #5 

Your story is so horrific.  It is frightening to think that there are such evil people around.  I certainly hope that they are brought to justice.  I am so sorry.  Love Di xxx

AngelCareOne

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #6 

Thank you so much, Di. 'Evil' is a perfect word for it. I was finally able to get an attorney in March 2008 who is expert in HOA law as well as criminal law.
 
Yes, they (all three) are all being brought to justice. What they don't know is that the "filing of charges" is not yet over. Shhh. Our secret.
 
Oh, you don't know but only the very tip of the ice berg.
 
And the honest to gosh truth is that I would have "walked away" from it all ... And there is a LOT! So many crimes with tangible evidence. Goodness!
 
But they made one mistake. Alex. If they had returned him safely to me, I would have done as I always do. Choose the path of least resistance, put all their other crimes in the past, carry on in the present and be Happy!
 
But Alex. That was their mistake. Big mistake. All I'm doing now is in the name of Alex and on his behalf. I did look to the sky and promised him I would no matter how long it takes and what hoops I have to jump though to get legal representation.
 
So, I did. As I said, that's what Friends are for and I'd gladly give my life for Alex without a moment's hesitation. Please rest assured that Alex will have earthly justice. All legally, of course. That is the only way to handle these things. Legally.
 
The cogs in the wheels of law are slow but this is really happening relatively quickly (so far knock on wood). However, those three still don't know yet what other charges they face.
 
I hate to do this. It's not me. I am a "walk away" type person but NOT where children or animals are concerned and ... Alex. Well, I hope you'll let me share more about him sometime. It would amaze, amuse and astound you. It does everyone else. I hope those fond memories soon become just that and not hurtful reminders.
 
Hey, I can be strong. Sure, I'm crying but I wouldn't want those three to mistake my tears for weakness rather than determination ... 
 
Okay, I think that's all for now. I ramble. Please pardon me for doing that. 
 
Bless you again, Di and More Big Hugs!
 
Always,
Angel xoxoxox

PS. Would you like to see Styx kitty? Named after the musical band and not the evil river. He's a Cornish Rex and this is a younger photo. He was a gift to me. I do have some more current ones on file. No, his breed is not related to the Sphynx hairless breed but they sure do look a whole lot alike.
 
I also have a Buddy dog "look alike" photo that I use because the best photo of Buddy dog which I do have looks like he's wearing a bicycle seat as a hat since it was in the background but you're welcome to see that, too.
 
Styx is about 12 years old now and a whole lot fatter than this. Meet Styx, my Cornish Rex kitty when he was younger but still full grown and look at those Biiiggg ears and rat tail but he is so very, very loving and affectionate ...


I have more Alex photo's, too. Rest his soul. So much I'd love to share about Alex but not just yet. Baby steps. More Hugs!


Ghatten

Registered:
Posts: 1,821
 #7 
}{{{{{Angel}}}}}


i am so very sorry for what you are going through - i am pleased at least Alex will get some measure of justice. And i can relate to you that you are not alone. It sounds like these people were strangers? i don't know their reasons for their behavior - i guess at least i do know why for our babies - divorce is a nasty business, and he acted to hurt my daughter. He also hurt others - me and my husband, a small band who were "there online" present at the birth of many of them. Their story is posted here on the message boards (Our Angel Pack - Never Again ~ http://www.websitetoolbox.com/tool/post/edw/vpost?id=1358357) with links to their online memorial pages.

You acted to be sure your babies were out of harms way - away from toxic chemicals, sadly your trust was betrayed. Please know your precious Alex knows you never intended him harm and that you love him, and he loves you still.

ghattenwolf
basil

Registered:
Posts: 1,205
 #8 
God Bless you and yours Ghatten, your story is also horrific.  How on earth people can use animals as a weapon to hurt, or a means to make money I will never know. 
Dear Angel, it is just not me who is listening, all here on this site are with you, and sending you love.  Styx is absolutely stunning, at least 2 of your babies were safe.  I think that Alex is now your angel, and is guiding you in what you do.  I too, am like you, I am one who walks away, rather than deal with confrontation.  I think your Alex is guiding you to bring these wicked people to justice, so that they will be stopped from hurting others like you have been hurt.  My heart is with you, Di xxx
AngelCareOne

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #9 
{{{{{{{Ghatten}}}}}}} I read what happened you and yours. How wicked horrible! I'm so sorry, Dear. You are a Wonderful Person and my heart goes out to you and your fur babies. Many Healing Thoughts and Prayers Sent Your Way. Big Hugs!
 
No, Di and Ghatten. It was not a divorce at all. My husband was the most wonderful man. He died suddenly of natural causes in August of 2003 and I have only the fondest of memories. I feel so lucky to have met him and had him in my life for the time I did. Rest his soul and I'll see him again, too. He's not just a "hard act to follow" ... He is an "impossible act to follow." It was like a fairy tale. I feel so fortunate and do cherish all our times together.
 
Apparently, I'm not supposed to say too much about "the why" as I do feel I am being protected. Thank you, Moderators and Bless You! So, I will try again later to re-word what it was about and keep it very simple and generic.  
 
Dearest Ghatten, again I feel so bad for you. Please know you're in my thoughts. I've posted this "picture" of the Rainbow Bridge on several other messages in this forum and would love it here as well as this wonderful video.
 
Even if you don't have sound but are capable of viewing videos, it's still very much worth watching and will warm your heart. This video is of animals from all over the world. Most were rescued from abandonment and shelters while others are simply very friendly wild life. It's a lovely and loving video with the song "Bless the Beasts and the Children" by The Carpenters which begins a little more than 1 and 1/2 minutes into the video.
 
Just click on the link below with your volume turned up if you happen to have volume and Bless the Beasts and the Children! 
 
http://youtube.com/watch?v=JI00i4QHMgk


Thank you both Ghatten and Di! Big Hugs!
 
Always,
Angel xoxoxox
Ghatten

Registered:
Posts: 1,821
 #10 
}{{{{{Angel}}}}}{

i did not mean to imply your situation was due to a divorce - and i am sorry to hear you lost a man who sounds wonderful. The reason(s) they felt they had for their actions are unimportant to me (just as my daughter's ex's excuses are unimportant - his actions were so very wrong) - Alex, Buddy, and Styx are beings with feelings and souls and what was done is unconscionable. Sadly, we have no grounds for legal action so i have to content myself that there will be justice - one day. i am glad for you and Alex that you will have justice and that Buddy and Styx were kept safe by an angel.

May Peace and Hope be your companions,
ghattenwolf
AngelCareOne

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #11 
{{{{{{{Ghattenwolf}}}}}}} I do agree with you. I cannot bring myself to refer to those three as "people." They are not human. Humans are not capable of such evil acts.
 
Ghatten, you never implied anything at all and did not offend me in the least. I promise. And now, I sit here knowing that you are right on the other side of this screen and tears stream down my face for you, Dear One. There will be Justice one Sweet Day for you and yours, Ghatten. There are many different kinds and forms of Justice as I talked about at the bottom of my very first post here. I send you all my Love! Bless You and More Hugs!
 
I also very much believe that Di is right. Alex is my special Angel right now and guiding me. I take great comfort that Di said that as it didn't occur to me before. It makes sense to me and I do believe!
 

 
Always,
Angel xoxoxox
AngelCareOne

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #12 

Dearest Alex, I know your very favorite song was Lullaby of Broadway so this is for you, My Friend!

 

 

 
 
And, here's another song you love lots and lots. I know how much you love your pictures, too. So, I chose the images to go along with the lyrics. I hope you're having a Great Time at The Rainbow Bridge and I Love You, Alex!
 
 
 
 
"If"
If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why can't I paint you?
 
 
The words will never show the you I've come to know.

If a face could launch a thousand ships,
Then where am I to go?
 
 
There's no one home but you.
You're all that's left me too.

And when my love for life is running dry,
You come and pour yourself on me.
 
 
If a man could be two places at one time,
I'd be with you.
 

 

Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.

If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die ...

 

 

I'd spend the end with you.

And when the world was through,
Then one by one the stars would all go out.
Then you and I would simply fly away ...

 

 


 

  

 

basil

Registered:
Posts: 1,205
 #13 
Oh Angel
That video is absolutely beautiful.  Brought a tear to my eye.  Thank you Love Di xxx
AngelCareOne

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #14 
{{{{{{{Di}}}}}}} You must be talking about the "Bless the Beasts and the Children" video. That one has brought me many happy tears, too!
 
Just knowing that most of those animals from all over the world were rescued from neglect, abandonment and shelters and are now with loving fur and feather parents and families warms my heart greatly. I'm so glad you enjoyed, Di. Big Hugs!
 
Always,
Angel xoxoxox 
AngelCareOne

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #15 
I'm having a really tough day today. I miss Alex so much and have not been able to express to anyone nor even myself the anger I feel toward those three who took Alex's life. The best I can do is the very first video in the very first post I made. I'm so much better many times expressing myself using images and songs rather than using the spoken word.
 
That first video in my first post does express my anger and the images of "monsters" perfectly describes how I view those three for what they did. Annie Lennox sings of my desire to heal as well as my great sorrow and feelings of helplessness. The end of that video expresses my prayers and hopes that Alex knows how special he is, that the stars shine for him and burn for all to see. 
 
In my opinion, it would have been different had Alex died from an illness or old age. Oh, I'd still scream, cry and carry on like a "mad woman" loud and often when alone. I just don't know if I would feel the tremendous guilt that I do along with this deep, deep sorrow, void, feeling amputated, pain so intense that I truly forget to breathe sometimes ... And so much more ... And so much more ...
 
Here's another poem so unlike in my usual funny or lovely or philosophical poems. This poem's rhythm is even "tense" and "choppy" very much like the poem "Tiger" by William Blake. But, that's how the poem came out of me. I pray that I can let go of this anger that I certainly must be feeling but not expressing. There's only one way to do that and I'm just not ready yet even though I'm very aware that holding resentment only hurts yourself and can even bring on several physical illnesses. I don't know who I'm quoting but someone said, "Holding resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Very wise quote whoever said it.
 
I hope to share some of my happy poems here sometime as people laugh so hard and I do love to give others something to smile about. Okay, I'm rambling again. On with my poem ...
 

"Mend These Broken Wings"
By: AngelCareOne

 

What do you say when you can't talk?
Where do you go when you can't walk?

 

It's useless to communicate.
Not capable expressing hate.

 

And so you sleep to get away
From all the troubles of the day.

 

But that's a stupid thing to do.
Troubles wait and still haunt you.

 

Perhaps it's best never to slumber.
But woes are patient. Return. Outnumber.

 

Your mind keeps racing to and fro.
So which direction should you go?

 

The past is nice at times that's true.
But mostly horrors do you view.

 

Staying sane in present time
Cannot be done. A thin, fine line.

 

The past and present you perceive
Brings wish of good things to retrieve.

 

You know that you must find a way
To conquer sanely just today.

 

Must be somehow which can be found
Stop vicious circles round and round.

 

There's one road back to sanity.
Forgive and that will set you free.

 

 
 
 
Always,
Angel xxx 
AngelCareOne

Registered:
Posts: 27
 #16 

"Remember Me This Way"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DguVzn3SM3k

Every now and then we find a Special Friend who never lets us down.
Who understands it all. Reaches out each time you fall.
You're the Best Friend that I've found.

I know you can't stay.
A part of you will never ever go away.
Your Heart will stay.

I'll make a wish for you and hope it will come true.
That life will just be kind to such a gentle mind.
If you lose your way, think back on yesterday.
Remember me this way. Remember me this way.

I don't need eyes to see the love you bring to me no matter where I go.
And I know that you'll be there.
Forever more a part of me.
You're Everywhere.
I'll always care!

I'll make a wish for you and hope it will come true.
That life will just be kind to such a gentle mind.
If you lose your way, think back on yesterday.
Remember me this way. Remember me this way.

And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you.
I'll be standing by your side in all you do.
And I won't ever leave as long as you Believe.
You just Believe!

I'll make a wish for you and hope it will come true.
That life will just be kind to such a gentle mind.
And if you lose your way, think back on yesterday.
Remember me this way. Remember me this way.
 
 
Always,
Angel xoxoxox
 
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