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pascoobydogs

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Posts: 23
 #1 
Hello All!  It's been a while since i have been on here, nothing has been easy without Brooklyn....i just can't get over her and the what ifs.......but thank all of you for your kind words and i am sure you know my pain.....
 
The thing of it is i feel guilty, I adopted another pointer she is wonderful and i do love her, but why can't we bond?  Maybe its because she can't sit still long enough....LOL... but she does make me laugh and she is such a joy and I REALLY LOVE HER! But i just want Brooklyn back, maybe i am feeling guilty for loving again....I don't know? I know Brooklyn would want me too, i even think she had a paw in picking Maddie, but the thing of it is Maddie is so much like Brook... Brooklyn would always chew her own toenails, and now Maddie does it!  And Brooklyn would clean the other girls ears and now Maddie is doing it....
 
Michelle
VAG048

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Posts: 29
 #2 
Dear Michelle,

My goodness - maybe you got what we all hope for?? She did indeed come back to you in her next body?! When I found my kitty 10 mos after my dog passed, I swear- the way I found her - I think God was testing me to see if I would accept #1) a cat (never had one, love all animals, but...kitty's were hard for me to handle) 2) a wounded kitty at that (another 'test' maybe, as vet wanted to pts at 10 weeks old!)

Hoping this thought might help you bond better - but if not, just give it time if you can. when i first got kitty, i was so careful not to call her the love names i had for my fifi (i didn't name her! a frenchman did <:), but that passed and she became babygirl, esp. when i thought God sent her to me after all.

Good luck, Vickie
lacal

Registered:
Posts: 201
 #3 
Michelle:
I am sorry for your loss.  We all have doubts and guilt over our losses and over bringing a new life into our homes.  There is no reason for it, but we do it anyway.
 
Bringing a new life into your home honors Brooklyn's memory for it is what they teach us and if Brooklyn gives you remembrances through Maddie then accept it and celebrate it.
 
 What greater love than to give another pet a chance on a wonderful life and a chance to give you unconditional love in return to help you heal.

lacal


pascoobydogs

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Posts: 23
 #4 

Thank you both for your kind words...... I do love Maddie, I trully do maybe part of me is just afraid to love like that again....

Christy

Registered:
Posts: 166
 #5 
Michelle -

It's been a long time since I have been here too but I think both of us have been pretty busy. 

I know what you mean.  I truly do.  On Tuesday it was 10 months since we lost Katie.  I only remembered it when I went to write my check at the vet's for Allie's shots.  I felt terrible that I had not remembered until then.   That day was also the 10 month birthdays of my puppies, as they were born on Katie's birthday and the day that Katie died.  Baylee the tri is so sweet and I love her so much but Katie (also a tri Sheltie) was only 7.  She had just turned 7 the day she died.  I miss Katie and I want her back.  It wasn't fair that she didn't have that chance to live a long life with us.  And then there is Bindi.  Bindi is sable and so it's kind of like she is taking over where Abby (sable Sheltie) left off.  Abby was here until she died in December and so Bindi and Abby were together a lot.  It doesn't ease the pain though and I miss Abby so much. 

I guess that I just have to remember that these precious furkids are on loan to us from God.  They were His first and then they return to Him.  When I think of that it makes me feel better.  I will never stop missing them just as you will never stop missing Brook.  Sometimes it takes more than just a few months to find that bond that will last a lifetime.  Maddie is your gift now and I am sure that in time you will find a very special bond with her.  It will not be the same as the one with Brook and it shouldn't be. 

I have more of a bond with Kassidy now than I ever did before.  She was Walt's dog in a way.  She is the rough and tumble girl that Walt had his special bond with.  And now, she has cancer and through her illness, I have found that special bond that will last a lifetime for me.  Today as she has surgery for her interdigital cyst, I worry.  I worry because I don't want to have the vet find something else that might indicate that her cancer is back.  It is hard to love again because we hurt so much when they leave us.  Just know that I understand and that Dad does too.  Look at what he is going through with Hollie.  He loves her so much but the person who abused her before he got her has made it difficult for any of us to help her right now.

Stay strong!  And thank you for all that you do for Hollie and Dad.  He's your dad too you know.  He's adopted you as his daughter too.  

HUGS!

Christy
robynbythec

Registered:
Posts: 1,093
 #6 
Michelle,

I know exactly what you mean! I have taken on a foster dog, whom I've named Penny, and I just can't feel that bond. I do think she is the cutest thing in the world, and so very sweet and loving. She deserves all the very best that life can offer -- she came from a not-so-great background of neglect and abuse, and is slowly coming around and trusting people and the love they can give. But, I just don't feel a great bond. I know that I am responsible for showing her love and a good life, and that's what I try to do for her, but I know what you mean completely.

I think of you and Brooklyn (and Christy!) often and hope you know that. Sending big hugs to you, and to dear Maddie. Just keep being who are you and doing what you do. All of that is more than good enough..

Big hugs,

HyzenthlayMollyWolf
http://www.mollybooboo.critters.com
http://www.petsupports.com/robyn.htm

HerbiesMom

Registered:
Posts: 196
 #7 
I think the fact that puppies and kittens are so very, very different from our older pets that we are still mourning is a blessing in disguise.  All of their energy and needs and short attention spans ensures that the bond that grows and changes over the years is unique with each animal.  We never stop missing and loving our lost babies, and so that's why the new ones are in no way, shape, or form a "replacement"

My bond with Belle and Herbie grew deeper and changed over time.  It's not a realistic expectation that you will feel instantly as close to a new pet as you did to your pets who have passed on.  So I don't think you should fret over it or think something is wrong with you or feel any guilt whatsoever.  It sounds as if things are pretty normal!

Herbie and Belle's Mom
WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #8 
Dear Michelle,

I think Herbie's Mom hit the nail on the head.  Each relationship is so very different.   There is no way on earth you can feel the same bond with Maddy that you felt with Brooklyn.  After all, you had Brooklyn for years and Maddie is so new.

Let me share my story and see if it helps illustrate my point.   Gracie, our 4 year old black lab mix, came to us in a violent thunderstorm in September of 2005.   No one ever claimed this beautiful black girl, so she became ours.   When my beloved 16 year old terrier, Betsy, passed just four months ago, Gracie tried her best to comfort me.   I am ashamed to say I was a bit cold to her and did not reciprocate.   I was so angry that Betsy was gone.   One morning, about a month ago, I was sitting on the floor of my bathroom weeping like a child and missing my Betsy, when Gracie suddenly walked in.   She sat very calmly on the floor in front of me, looked deeply into my eyes, began licking my tears away, and then put her head in my lap.   Michelle, I fell so deeply in love with her in that one moment.   Since then, she has become Mama's girl and follows me everywhere.  She is sitting beside me now as I type.  I thank God for sending me Gracie.   She gently opened the door to my heart and resides there now. 

Give Maddie--and yourself--some time.   I promise you, there will come a moment when the two of you will bond, and what a moment that will be. 

Sending hugs,
Melissa
Betsy's forever mom 
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