Registered: 1533059454 Posts: 1
Hello. Two months ago I lost my 3.5 year old cat, Gandalf, to cancer. He was such a spunky little monster and I loved him so much. I knew him since he was 5 weeks old, though he spent a year with my aunt after she adopted him. When she moved she gave him back to us and he spent the last 2 years of his life as my cat. I was his main caretaker at the end, along with being the person he bonded with.
Out of respect for my aunt I passed along the info that Gandalf had been put down. I'm normally a pretty private person, so I had no intention of broadcasting my loss. My aunt, however, made a very loud announcement on social media that she had lost "her" cat and she was so depressed. I was furious. I felt like she was stealing my grief for attention. She wasn't the one who drove him to all his appointments, gave him his medications, shopped for food and snacks with his low energy and picky diet in mind. She didn't hold him at night scared that he would be dead by morning, or spend an hour plus a night petting and grooming him because she knew that she might not get the chance again. For two years Gandalf had been my cat, but she had no regard for me or my family when she very purposefully fished for attention from the internet. It was like a slap in the face. To make it short; am I wrong for being furious over such a thing? I know he was her cat, too, and she deserves some respect for that, but I feel like she was just aiming for attention and disrespecting my grief in doing so.
Registered: 1498611382 Posts: 580
No, you have every right to be angry. She gave up her right to Gandalf when she gave him to you. I am happy to read that you gave him a very good and loving life. Bless you for loving him.
Peace and comfort to you and your broken heart Love and doggie hugs Termy's mom
Registered: 1387660479 Posts: 46
If I were you, I would just chalk it up to people being people. I had a similar thing happen to me, and was surprised to read that the people I had gotten the cat from had told many of their friends. But, on the other hand, they had loved that cat when they had it, and only asked me to take it because one of them was very allergic to it. So probably when they found out the cat had died, they were a bit overcome with memories of it and sadness over its passing.
What matters most is that Gandalf was your cat and you cared for him and loved him and grieve his passing, and his last memories would be of you.
Registered: 1531202970 Posts: 106
I am so sorry about your kitty. I'm glad he landed in your life (for his sake and your happiness). I totally understand how you feel -- social media is awesome, but it can sure bring out emotions.
And what you described would bring out a rare passive aggressive streak in me that I am not proud of w/a comment in response. "I'm so grateful I was able to spend the last 2 years of Galdolf's life with him -- I miss him terribly. He was sooo worth the meds, trips to the vet, special food. Even thought he only lived 3+ years, we were so special to one another. I loved cuddling with him, grooming him, tending to him. Thanks, Aunt ____; if you had not turned him over to me after your short time with hm, I would have missed that unconditional love." OK, maybe that's a bit over the top but the post-for-drama folks annoy me.