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chadschic

Registered:
Posts: 37
 #1 

Well here I am 3+ days past having Elvis put to sleep and the guilt has set in.  I know I did what was best for him and what I did was an act of love.  But I feel guilty handing him off to the vet tech with him possibly thinking “Oh this is just another Blood Glucose Curve” and BAM he is put to sleep.

 

I like to think that he wasn’t in his right mind enough to think that rationally.  Even if I had given him the shot I would torture myself with “Oh…Mommy is just giving me my insulin injection”.  Either way I can’t win.  I know my thoughts are irrational and I am just beating myself up, but I cannot help it. 

 

I miss my little Pooky Bear.  He was with me when I was 9 years old…all the way through my awkward years…teenage years…up until my pregnancy.  He has been through it all with me.  As much of a blessing as furbabies are, it’s not fair that they can only stay with us for the short time they are here.  It truly makes me not want so many pets in the future because I cannot handle the grief so often. 

 

I still have 3 cats, 1 dog, & a rabbit.  That has been significantly reduced over the past 3 years.  Since then I have lost 2 dogs, 2 cats, & 2 hamsters.  All just as important as the others. 

 

I have found ways to deal with my grief.  I make scrapbook pages in their memory, I buy a stuffed animal that looks like them to cuddle when I am sad, and I buy an engraved granite memorial stone with their photo on it. 

 

This time I had Elvis cremated.  I wanted to have Jessie cremated (some may remember this), but when I called the ER vet they pawned me off on my regular vet expecting me to keep Jessie’s body 24 hours!  I later found out that was not supposed to happen.  So we ended up burying Jessie despite my wishes for him.  The day I pick up Elvis’ ashes will be a hard day for me.  : (

 

So sad…

 

Christine

(Elvis & Jessie’s Mommy)

EmptyNow

Registered:
Posts: 199
 #2 
Christine,

I'm so sorry. I know that you are hurting honey but like you said, you did it because you loved him dearly. He knows how you felt about him.  He knows you love him.

Loving our children the way we do comes with a price and I guess that price is that they won't always be with us.  It's so hard and I can relate to you when you say that you don't want so many pets in the future because of the grief.

But please remember that your angel Elvis LOVES you - just as much as you love him.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

Love,

Piggy's Mom
WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #3 

Dear Christine,

Feeling guilty and trying to second-guess yourself is a normal stage of grief that all of us go through at one point or another.  It can be agonizing.

Elvis knows your heart.  He knows you love him and only did what you knew was best for him.   You should have no doubt about that.

Sending hugs,
Melissa
Betsy's forever mom

   




sweetpepe

Registered:
Posts: 143
 #4 
((((Christine))))))))

I sympathize and understand.  Our dear little Pepe was put to sleep this week and although I know he was suffering and the time had come I still have moments when the grief just overcomes me and I think maybe he would have recovered, maybe we should have done it sooner, maybe, maybe....

In the end we all do what we feel is best for our pets.  Our poor little guy was in pain and so weak he could no longer use his back legs and was dragging them.  That was the final sign to me that we had to make that difficult decision and not put it off any longer.

Having your dear Elvis since you were nine years old really makes it that much harder I am sure.  You two grew up together, and, as you say you have shared so much.  My thoughts and prayers go out to you. 
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