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Posts: 179
My husband just passed away last month and my Tinky wanders through the house every evening looking for him. He lays on the sofa looking toward the door to the garage wimpering wondering why Daddy isn't coming home to us. Nighttime is the worst for us both but it tears at my heart knowing he doesn't understand where Daddy went and why he isn't home with us. It's just me and him now at our home and we miss him so much. I go to bed every night with the last shirt he wore hoping his scent will help but Tinky doesn't go near it. Has anyone else out there gone through this? His vet said they usually stop doing this after 3 or 4 weeks but it's been over a month now and he still does it. Any advice would really be appreciated.


Posts: 837
I am so very sorry for your loss. Tinky is grieving just as you are, he is missing your husband but can't understand why he doesn't come home as he always did before. I would normally suggest you give him something to snuggle that has your husband's scent on it but you have already tried that. All you can do is offer lots of love and extra cuddles as you both are grieving. If you both enjoy walks maybe a few extra might help. I will keep you both in my prayers.

Posts: 195
Dear Donna,

I am very sorry to hear about the lost of your husband.  Please accept my condolences.  Not only are you missing your husband, but your Tinky is lost without him.  He doesn't understand what is going on.  Poor little boy.  I hope this doesn't put a strain on him. He is grieving a loss, but doesn't know what and why. He just knows your husband is not there.  Maybe the shirt and scent isn't enough.  He's looking for him.  Shower him with all the love and attention you can.  Maybe get him to take more interest in you. Take him for walks as twinkiesmom suggested, get him out of the house more often, maybe new scenery will help, and the walks will make him tired so he can fall asleep easier. 

Usually it's the other way around when we lose our pets, we are missing them, not sleeping, and are looking for them. I have done that.  I still do it. 

Can your vet check Tinky just to make sure his health is not being affected by the loss?  In case it's making him anxious.  Have you or anyone around him been upset over your husband's passing?  Maybe he senses that.  It's probably not going to be easy to be upbeat because you have experienced a great loss, but maybe playing upbeat music and more noise in the house, may distract him?  Dr. Sife on the pet loss chat site may be able to give you some advice. He's had numerous types of animals. His staff may be able to help, too. Click on Visit Chat Room for the chat hours, and then click Pet Loss Chat Room and sign up to get into the chat.   There is also a site with numerous types of loss which is run by Ms. Marty Tousley, grief counselor in all losses, and experienced in her own losses.  Select "Contact Us" at the bottom of the page and send a note, she is good at getting back to you.  site:

I hope some of this helps you and your little Tinky.  I am sorry for your loss.

~ Parker's Mom

Posts: 33
Gertie, I feel so sad reading your posts.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I do hope you have checked with the vet, and that your Tinky will accept cuddles at this time, when Tinky's ready.  I will be thinking of you both, and send you lots of hugs xx
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