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Iloveangel

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Posts: 3
 #1 
Does anyone else have a hard time getting to sleep at night ? Does anyone else cry every night and wake up and cry again before starting their day ?
goofygirlinva

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Posts: 1,191
 #2 
All the time...For me, the nights were the hardest because my kitties slept with me, often either on top of me or curled up against my tummy. So after they passed away it was so hard to go to sleep without them literally by my side. And the silence was horrible - I didn't hear or feel them purr or deeply breathing (aka snoring, LOL). To help compensate, I ended up falling asleep with the TV on just so there wouldn't be such a deafening silence in the house. I have to confess that I kind of still fall asleep with the TV on to this day, many years later...

Hugs to you as you go through your grief journey...

- Kelly
Angel Blackie's mom
Angel Squeeker's mom

Doggyinheaven

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Posts: 13
 #3 
i cry all the time. i have been crying non stop since i put my baby doggy to sleep one week ago. i wake up crying. i cry at work. i go to the bathroom at work and cry. i cry when i get home. i cry when i pull into the garage.  i just finished crying before typing this.  this pain is absolutely unbearable.  i feel like someone is suffocating me with deep seated pain and driving a wrench deep into my heart. there is no break from the pain.  i never knew this could hurt so bad. i am 42 years old and have never experienced a greater pain
Jfred

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Posts: 5
 #4 
I very much do. Its at the point that I dread bed time. My girl slept w me all 10yrs of her life. I can spend all day in my room and still dont want to have to go to bed. Today dor me was guilt and anger.
I cry all the time. Any where any time. Its almost embarrassing.
Im so sorry for your loss....it will get better some day. Just be sure to still take care of you

Bentleys mom
KekeGrammy

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Posts: 10
 #5 
Yes. I cry all the time as well. My Keke passed on August 13. I cry many times during the day. Like the others who posted, Keke slept by my side for 15 years... Over a fourth of my life. Nights are the worst. Keke was a great love of my life, my soulmate. I will be grieving her for quite a while. The loss of your sweet kitty is worthy your grief. It is just so hard. Just know that there are others going through their own personal painful process as well.. I hope that provides a little comfort.
moni

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Posts: 1
 #6 
I lost my Jose last June,I had my dog since he was a puppy and I had to let him go after almost 16 years he couldn’t see he kept falling down trying to follow me and he went quickly and the vet let me stay with him after and I got a paw print.I cried for 2 weeks and I’m crying again thinking about him.Only pet owners know how you feel it will get better and think how much you loves him and what pets bring to your life
KekeGrammy

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Posts: 10
 #7 
It is hard to deal with the trauma of your Jose's death. You never get over it. You had Jose for a good portion of your life. You can't just get over it as those whom have never bonded so deeply with their pet child. Give it time.. No timeframe to meet. Grief is individualized. After you can deal with the trauma of Jose's death, you can then focus on the good life lived. Get counseling if you can. I have and it has helped me a bit.. PTSD is real. You will always be Jose's mom.. Always. Take care.
Fensmom

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Posts: 24
 #8 
Yes. I cry. I feel guilty. I feel like ppl are tired of me moping. Not many understand. Idk if 1 person I’m around does. Oh. He’s just a dog. Etc. I feel we should grieve when it comes to us. Please know you are not alone. With love.
Fensmom
ItWillTakeTime

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Posts: 43
 #9 
At first I cried continuously. Then I cried about five to eight times a day and woke up at night crying and cried at my desk at work. Then I cried every time something reminded me of him (often). Now (month later) I cry probably every other day. I miss him terribly. Today is a beautiful fall day -- the kind of day I used to love because we would go on hikes together -- and it just made me sad again.

I have been keeping a journal in which I express my feelings. My friends and family have been very understanding and kind, but I don't expect them to have unlimited patience or to understand how deep his hurt goes.
KekeGrammy

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #10 
I had to go to the doctor about a month after my Keke died. I told her about it and was crying, barely able to speak. Immediately she said in a slightly amused tone that I wasn't too old to get another cat, and that loss was a part of life. It was just automatic, clinical detachment or not having the love of a beloved pet in her life.
I still cry everyday and am having a hard time. I lost my daughter.. Love knows no species. I am now seeing a counselor, but I am not convinced that is helping.
Keke changed my life significantly when she was my child for 15 years. Losing her has also changed my life. I find myself defining time as before Keke or after Keke.
It will take time. My family know and saw how much I loved her and are patient. Others are not. I too am keeping a journal. I am also making a memory box to keep her things together.
Life will never be the same. No one can take Keke's place. I still struggle to get through every day. My adult daughter Amanda described it perfectly .
"Keke was not just a cat. She was the perfect daughter who loved my unconditionally and never sought a life away from me."
Sharing with others who understand helps.. Like minds I suppose.
I would give anything to gave my Keke back. I am sure I am not the only one.
Doggyinheaven

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Posts: 13
 #11 
It’s been two weeks since my 13 year old girl passed and I still have cried everyday- not just tears but aching grieving crying. (I just cried at my desk at work) The pain is unreal. It’s ridiculous but my friend suggested for me to consider antidepressants yesterday. I was like, “Um.... are you nuts? I haven’t even hit the second week yet!” I respect the natural grieving process and I know this is going to take a lot of time. I’ve read somewhere the deeper and more profound the love you had for your pet, the deeper and more profound you will grieve. This explains it all.
Dogsarepeopletoo

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Posts: 106
 #12 
I cried so hard and long that at one point I went in the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror— I was certain I must have broken blood vessels.

Four months later, I have it under control but still shed tears when grief reaches out and taps me on the shoulder. It now seems to come in clusters.

I feel bad for all of you where the grief is so new, so raw. It is so damn difficult.
sunspark

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Posts: 21
 #13 
My sweet Peety died at the vet hospital in ICU because of a procedure a shift vet did that he should not have done. Peety, 13 1/2 yrs old, had pneumonia but was getting better, until he crossed paths with this careless vet.. within 7 hous of meeting this vet, Peety was on his deathbed.  I thought I was going to be bringing him home in a few days. I thought he was safe out there, with those people. They killed him.

Such a stunning shock when he died - we were not there, we were waiting unawares for visiting hour. 

I cried non-stop for months, for a while there I could barely tell if I was crying, or not -- crying was just something that was normal to do, for a while there. I woke up crying during the night; I cried all day.  It has been almost a year, 11 months since he died, and I still cry often for him. Especially if I let my mind go to his last few days & hours of life. He didn't deserve to die that way. 

It's just so hard.
KekeGrammy

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #14 
I am so sorry Peety died. You made the best decision with the information you had at the time. Like all professionals, there are both good and bad veterinarians.
When you are able complain loudly to the clinic. Post to their site. That will get their attention.
In the meantime do something positive that focuses on the wonderful time he had with you. He will know. He loves you.
Harder said then done.. I am right there with you in the loss of my precious Keke.
Lkormos

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Posts: 3
 #15 
Yes, I still cry every day and its been over a month. This is the worst feeling Ive ever had. Its the first thing i think about in the morning and when I go to bed at night. The quiet house is the worst :( Just know you are not alone and we feel the same pain. Time will help heal us all. Take care
keljpvs

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Posts: 3
 #16 
I'm so sorry for your loss.  3 weeks later and I'm still an absolute mess.  Cried all morning today at my desk.
Doggyinheaven

Registered:
Posts: 13
 #17 
I am going on four weeks and I’ve cried intensely every day since. A few nights ago I cried just as intensely a few days after my doggy passed. There are a few moments here and there where I smile or laugh but then the pain quickly returns. All of the emotions are so extremely complicated - if I laugh or smile for a quick minute, I feel guilty and worry that I’m forgetting her. All the other times I’m a mess. There’s no winning anywhere and I have lost so much hope. I miss my little girl so much and have no more light in me. I’m so broken hearted and just have no idea how I’m going to make it through this.
KekeGrammy

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #18 
Take it day by day..The only balm is time. Incredibly slow passing time.
Dogsarepeopletoo

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Posts: 106
 #19 
Doggyinheaven:

I read somewhere (here?) that after a beloved pet dies, a tear is shed for every happy memory. I cried so much after our dog passed away, I thought that surely must be true -- 13 years of good memories made for a lot of tears. It has been 4+ months since Annie died. I know we are all different and our grief manifests itself differently but -- hang in there because you will get it under some semblance of control. I had my doubts about myself -- "will I ever quit bawling?!" And I did. I still cry, don't get me wrong -- heck, I'm tearing up just writing this! -- but I do feel like I have a level of control over the sobs.

It definitely sneaks up on me, though. I stopped to chat with a stranger about her dog not long ago; as I was petting her dog, it had an expression that made me think of Annie and I immediately teared up. I confess, I fibbed to the woman and told her I had to sneeze because I knew if I was honest, I'd be full-on crying before long.

I know words do not help. But, know you are not alone. We all understand and relate. The hurt is huge; the loss is hard to describe.

Take care!

Trixie16

Registered:
Posts: 11
 #20 
It's been just over three months since I had to put my dog Trixie to sleep we were together almost 18 years. The first month was the worst. I started volunteer ing at the humane society here in town and this helped. But today for some reason I am crying again but more than that I just feel such despair I just don't want to live w/o her and her brother Thor ( who passed 2 years ago)in my life. 😢😢😢😢😢
KekeGrammy

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #21 
I am right there with you. My Keke kitty daughter died on August 13. My family tells me repeatedly that Keke would want me to go on and would want me to be happy, and it's true. Because she loved you so, Trixie would want the same for you. 18 years is a big part of your life. The grief will time. Doesn't help today, but give it time. That is what I tell myself.
doglife

Registered:
Posts: 69
 #22 
I am right there with you all. I thought that I was past the crying phase as it’s almost been 6 months- still hard to believe. This season of fall is when we would go hiking to see the beautiful fall colors & Jada Loved it. The place we just went to last weekend reawakened memories of her & suddenly the tears were falling like the leaves on the trees.
Which brought back the memories of that traumatic day she died without warning. Then I cannot stop thinking about it, going over & over why? What happened? Where did she go? I think Im suffering some PTSD from it because when my older GSD flopped himself on the grass the other day , I imediately ran up to him thinking that he had dropped dead too. He was just enjoying the cold ground. My grief & sadness over losing Jada has returned with the memories of places we went together. The tears have also returned, but not as bad as the beginning. I will never get completely over losing her. Its so hard.
Hugs & peace to you all gping through this grief
Jada’s mom
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