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PumpkinsMom

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Posts: 37
 #1 
Hi, me again.  Some of you may remember me.  I lost my little Pumpkin, a chihuahua, on January 13, 2009 suddenly due to a heart attack.  Then my Caly, another chihuahua, left for the Rainbow Bridge on Oct 3, 2009 due to Cushing's disease.
Now my Apollo, a Shizu-terrier mix,  left for the bridge, yesterday at about 4:30pm.  He had congestive heart failure and was 13.  He fought a good hard battle to stay with us right up to the end.  Yes, I had to make "that" decision and it was the hardest thing to do.  :(

Right up until yesterday, he tried to still go for his walks, but he was so weak and kept falling, so I just let him wander the driveway and he was happy with that.  Apollo loved everyone--people and all other dogs.  He almost always had a stuffed toy in his mouth--carried them everywhere. 

I wish he could have stayed longer, but he was suffering at the end.  Still, I feel so guilty, as if I betrayed him by choosing to let him go.  I know many of you know how I feel.  I know in my heart he was suffering and couldn't go on.  Still, it's heartbreaking and hard to deal with. 

I know I'll have to face this again and again--I have a border collie mix who is 15, a chihuahua who is 12, and three other chi's who are 9.  And my chi's Maggie and Missy are grieving for Apollo.  They saw how sick he was and were at the door when we carried him out to go to the vet.  Maggie grieved terribly for Pumpkin and Caly but this time she's been a huge comfort to me, staying by my side continually, as Apollo always did.  Apollo never let me out of his sight, never (unless I left the house, of course, lol) and always had one of his "babies" in his mouth.  I don't know what I'll do with all his stuffed animals--the others don't play with them, so maybe tomorrow I can face packing them away. 

Goodbye, little bubba, little squirt, my Apollo.  You'll always live on in my heart,  happy guy, always.
Have fun at the Rainbow Bridge until we can meet again.  I just know that Caly and Pumpkin and all the others who've gone before were there to greet you joyfully and that you're playing in Heaven now.  I will always, always love and miss you.

Mom



MegansMum

Registered:
Posts: 72
 #2 
Oh I'm so sorry. I DO understand how you feel about "that" decision, it's 2 weeks today since we made the same one for our girl Megan. Apollo sounds adorable carrying his toys wherever he went.

13 I believe is a very proud age, and I know from your post that he must have had the most wonderful life with you. Try to feel comforted that you gave him everything and more than he could have ever asked for.

Just this evening something came to my mind; that if I were Megan and she was me, I would not want her to be sad and focus on the sad final 6 hours of my life, I would want her to remember and celebrate the wonderful happy years we shared and the eternal love that we taught each other. I must try to remember this during the dark times.

Best wishes to you and sweet Apollo xx
Bobo

Registered:
Posts: 116
 #3 
I'm so sorry PumpkinsMom, you gave Apollo a great life. Your a caretaker aren't you...God bless you! A smile came across my face when you said he always had a stuffed toy in his mouth. Do you have any pictures? I would love to see them.

If and when I'm ready for another furbaby a Shizu is on my list.

Blessings,

Bob
Berta

Registered:
Posts: 541
 #4 
Dear PumpkinsMom,

I'm very sorry about Apollo. I know how your heart is breaking and my heart goes out to you. He sounds like such a precious little darling, carrying his stuffed animals around. How adorable!

I lost my 11 year old chihuahua Chico in June to CHF. I also had to make that decision and it was truly the hardest thing I have ever done. He also fought so very hard to stay with me and I could no longer allow him to suffer and be brave for me. Our pets will endure anything it seems just to be by our side. We can't help but feel those pangs of betrayal and guilt even though we know in our hearts we did the right thing for our babies and released them from their suffering.

Give your other babies lots of love, especially Maggie and Missy. It is so sad that they are also grieving. Bless Maggie for comforting her mom at this painful and difficult time.

You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight. Please share pics of Apollo when you can. Wishing you peace and comfort.


Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #5 
I am sorry your precious Apollo has passed on. You have lost quite a few of your little ones and I know it never gets any easier. It is sweet that Apollo will see Pumpkin and Caly again. He will be one happy boy!! I hope your others pets are doing ok without their buddy Apollo. Everyone loses when a precious family member passes on.

Mare
precious Christoph ~ 2 years at the bridge ~
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