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MommaBiscuit

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Posts: 14
 #1 
Hello all, I hope I don't spark any debate with this thread, but I was wondering if there were any atheists/agnostics or people who simply don't believe in an afterlife on this forum.

I myself am Pagan and consider myself to be very spiritual, but I do not believe in an afterlife. This site has been wonderful for me, and it's so comforting to know that there are people who understand just how much grief is involved in losing our babies. But coming on here to hear people's stories and words of comfort and wisdom, I often find myself saddened by talks of an afterlife and the Rainbow Bridge, and getting signs from their furbabies. So much so that it brings me to tears. I envy everyone that believes in such a thing, because it must be such a comfort. Some nights I lay asleep at night and try to look out for a sign, hoping that by some odd chance I'm wrong, and that my baby is out there. I feel so upset and sad when I come to terms with the fact that he isn't there and that I will never see him again. I know in my heart that he is gone forever. 

I've always had a hard time dealing with death, because since before I can remember I have not believed in an afterlife. Hopefully there are some nonbelievers out there who can share their wisdom with me as to how they cope with losing a loved one when there is no hope of reuniting with them in the afterlife.
mollymom

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Posts: 40
 #2 

Momma I am sorry for your loss.  If you believe the "end is the end", then so be it.  None of us should judge you for your beliefs or try to persuade you otherwise. What can sustain you in this time of real grief  will not be a belief in for a life beyond, but a celebration of memories of the life you had with your furkid "in the world".  Cherish the memories of your pet.  Think of the funny things, the happy times. Know, that you did the best you could, and that as a loving furmom, you did what had to be done, and you did so because you loved your pet enough to have to make the final loving decision.  Your pet had a good time in life, and now rests in death, as one day we all will.  I hope this helps.  ((((hugs)))

KatLover

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Posts: 842
 #3 
I think we can all only believe what's right for us.  And I'm sure many religious people have their doubts too.  If it's any comfort, some science seems to suggest that all living things are part of a vast, single energy field.  I don't know know if it means there is definitely an afterlife, but it seems to suggest that our energy doesn't go away.  Personally, I believe there are just too many accounts throughout history of normal people seeing spirits to be dismissed, so I do at least think something must be going on.  I think ultimately you must listen to what's in your heart. 
leonor

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Posts: 214
 #4 
I'm not catholic nor a believer. I feel sometimes a sort of mystic and a strong will to believe this is not all and "it". However, I read you completely as to feeling somewhat displaced here, sometimes. especially when everybody is sharing signs of their friends or strong beliefs in a reunion.

I cope. I breathe. I cried and still cry a lot. I try to handle the grief of losing someone so dear to me as a child. That made me grow up a bit. And realize how much Sashimi changed me in a good way, made me a better person. I've learned things. Like, you just need to pet your baby "this much" sometimes, otherwise she'll get cranky and bite you. Or, she loves me so much I don't think I was ever this much loved. Or, I loved her so much I preferred helping her die than to watch her suffer one minute longer.

One day I know I'll be able to remember the good times with a smile. It has only been 7 months for me, and due to the intensity of my feelings for her it may take a bit longer. But I wouldn't trade those five years with her just to skip this pain. And that means a lot, don't you think? :)

Look inside of you and you will find your answer to that question. I know you will. :)

love and comfort,
Leonor
I_miss_Cleo

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Posts: 116
 #5 
I am having a similar struggle, but different.  I was raised Catholic and do believe in an afterlife for humans and feel like there is some actual proof of that, but I question what happens to pets.  I had an experience in sunday school growing up where the teacher told another student that his dog who had died would not go to heaven because animals do not have souls.

I don't think anyone who has a pet believes that they don't have souls!  But that has stuck with me.  I can't stand the thought that animals just stop...everything when they die.  They seem more deserving of heaven than a lot of humans.
Murphy22

Registered:
Posts: 1,982
 #6 
Momma,
No one here will ever judge your personal belief's.  We only come for support and to support others in the loss of one of the most precious love's of our life.  I thought the words of Mollysmom were wonderful.  Celebrate your babies life and the years and love you shared.

I still hope you receive a physical sign.  One that could only come from your precious one, without any doubt in your mind.  Not to change your views, but to let you know they found a way to send you that special message and help to comfort you.  After 3 months,  I received one such as that, one I could actually hear, loud and clear and from that moment on I found the comfort I needed to move forward.  Slow but sure, forward. 

So regardless of where his resting place is; in your heart or in the sun at the bridge, he will live on every day in your thoughts and most importantly, he is at rest surrounded by your love.
Take care,
Sandie

Becky57

Registered:
Posts: 657
 #7 
I can understand pretty well what you are going through.  Throughout my life, I have struggled with my belief system or lack of one.  But I respect all people's views. 

I will never get over the loss of my dogs--- too many mistakes i have to regret.  I yearn and ache for them just as you do with your loved one. I cry for them every day. 

What keeps me hanging on, I guess, are the anecdotal stories that have been recorded throughout history.  AFter the death of my mom and sister, I read dozens of books on people's experiences.  Like you, I prayed for signs and some magical experience.  I never got any, but take some  small comfort in other's stories. My brother always says that if even just one of the tens of thousands of experiences is true, well, that says it all.

This keeps me hanging on as well as the fact that death is something we all do.  For some strange reason, I take comfort in the fact that I will do what they did.

My logical mind refuses to believe, but my heart and my soul , well, that's another story.
Moonlight

Registered:
Posts: 540
 #8 

I'm sorry you are hurting so much. All I can say is that there was a time in my life when I didn't believe either and I used to look at other people and think "I wish I could believe like them". After losing my two furry kids and going through other hard times in my life, I do believe. I believe with all my heart because I truly have had real signs from the afterlife. Sometimes, I still thought "no..it can't be real" and I would even doubt the amazing signs I got, but at a certain point there is just no doubting a real sign even if we try to. I do believe that our "ego" and being a human being causes us to doubt, causes us to think "no that's just a coincidence".."it's not real"... it makes us find a "logical" answer to the crazy things in life. Obviously, we are all entitled to our own beliefs and if you don't believe...well, then all you can do is comfort yourself in the fact that your furry kid had a wonderful life with you. I do feel that the afterlife is real, and I do believe that if you ask for a sign and really remain open to it...you will get one. But just take comfort in living your life to the fullest and making it the best it can be. In the end, no one knows for sure what happens to us after death....

LoriDR

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Posts: 2,123
 #9 
All I can say that might be a little different than the others is ... if we still feel the love, than they live on. Whether it be that they are living in our hearts, or in an afterlife, the love and our fur kids are still alive as long as we feel it. I felt like I had to keep my boy alive in some way, so I talked and shared about his life on these boards. They helped me by keeping him alive in their minds and their memories once I shared. Our fur babies live on through us. Hugs of comfort to you, Lori
sunshinegirl

Registered:
Posts: 356
 #10 
As many people here said, no one knows for sure. I believe, that we cannot know what happens either to our beloved pets or to us, or simply to any living thing, when we die. We are simply too limited to know that. That doesn't mean that we cannot believe in whatever we want to. Whether these beliefs were laid for us on a plate and we accepted them without questioning or we examine everything we can. 
What I like about being skeptical, is that you only get pleasant surprises. So who knows? Perhaps...:)

Hugs,
Roman

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