Registered: 1550097546 Posts: 6
I have a 12 y/o Japanese Chin in state 4 Congestive Heart Failure. I went through this around 11 years ago with my last Chin. Last time I seemed so strong and at peace with a decision I would probably have to make. This time I'm a complete mess. My boy is a trooper and is doing well right now (but nothing like he was a year ago). Thank GOD his coughing has stopped (for now?). Every time he coughed I started crying. He sits at my foot looking for a treat and all I can think about is when I look down and he's not there anymore. Perhaps I'm grieving in advance, but I feel like when I do lose him I'm going to melt down. I know about cognitive tools, meditation, therapy etc. I have tried all but therapy (which is my next stop). I feel like I'm cheating us both out of the precious time we have left together on this plane by being such a downer. I don't expect anyone to give me any great solution to grief ... folks been trying for years. Just wanted to share in case anyone else is in the same position with their furbaby.
Registered: 1327006451 Posts: 103
mawlawva, I went through something similar with my 6 year old cat Lilly. She passed on Dec. 8/18, a month and one day after she was diagnosed with lymphoma.
She did well on her meds, she actually rebounded a bit, but, we knew it wouldn't last. Her vet told me that many people can't do the palliative care thing. I didn't even have to think about that decision - I owed it to her, to be there for her, till the very end. It's so hard to watch them, and wait, knowing that eventually things will get worse. I slept on the couch every night so I could be with her for every last minute of her life, waking and sleeping. You're right, it's like grieving in advance. But, what choice do we have, when we love them so much? You're also right about the melt down, at least for me. A total meltdown. I felt like my heart actually broke. A piece of my heart is missing, and will be forever, I think. It's true, there is nothing anybody can say to make us feel better, it would be nice if there was, but there just isn't. Like they say, the harder you love, the harder you grieve....