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MegansMum

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Posts: 72
 #1 
Many people here write about good dreams with their babies, why do me and my partner only get bad ones? My first one started nice, but changed and ended bad, my second one was recent and Megan had died but I found new photos of her and was looking at them and crying. My partners dream was that Megan got hit by a car (like in real life) but it was worse, she was bleeding (the only blood we saw thankfully was from a graze under her ear). He said it was an awful dream. Why are we getting these? Has noone else had bad dreams? Its been 9 weeks since her accident now.

Claire xx
LindaK

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Posts: 1,405
 #2 
Dear Claire,
I too have had some very bad dreams for a while after my loss. My grief was so intense and I chose to not let myself cry and let out the pain. I didn't let myself believe that my cat, Oreo had died. It just hurt too much. The dreams where so bad I started to not sleep. Once I let myself realize she really wasn't coming back to me, the tears flowed and the good dreams came. Your grief is still so new and raw. I think the good dreams will come in time because they did for me. In the meantime, before you go to sleep, try to relax and think of the good times. That helped me eventually get to having good dreams.
God bless, Linda
rottiesrule

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Posts: 596
 #3 
Maybe life is playing out in your dream. I don't think these were visits, but a way to work out your feelings. I believe if they were visits, they would have been nice dreams. We tend to dream about things we're conflicted about, like the brain's way to make sense out things.

Once things do get worked out, your dreams will be pleasant and you will have a visit from her.
Mare

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Posts: 11,059
 #4 
I have had two bad dreams about my bunny.  I try and not think about any hidden messages.  You do wonder if your pet is trying to tell you something, but I know my precious Christoph is safe at the bridge and waiting for the day when I will join him.  Hopefully in time, you will have a sweet dream about Megan and know in your heart that she is very safe.

Mare
precious Christoph ~ the love of my life ~

KatLover

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Posts: 842
 #5 
Yes, I think it's common for people to have bad dreams.  But don't worry, they are just your mind working to heal itself and come to grips with a traumatic event.  They will pass.  It took many months for me to have a good dream.  Wishing both you and your partner healing and peace.
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #6 

}{{{{{Claire}}}}}{

 

i think sometimes our dreams are our grief trying to play the guilt (which is unwarrented) card, i have only ever had "waking dreams" (sorta daydreamy moments when i see brief glimpses - like seeing one of my angels walk across my yard in the snow in July). Most of mine don't visit my dreams - though i think sometimes they guide my pen.

 

Maybe Megan was trying to tell you it is ok to be sad, but to remember the love and the good times (the photos), perhaps she was trying tp tell your partner it could have been worse . . . . . . . . or maybe the dreams were your grief talking and Megan is still waiting for the drief to allow he to visit. Megan is in paradise now and knows how very much she is loved and she loves you both.

 

One key to how long before and between when we receive a sign or visit may be in time and eternity itself - while we must endure, sometimes long waits, time here - in eternity there is no time. And some critters - like some people - have no sense of time or it's passage.

"I've only been gone a moment - I'll get right there - just give me a minute"

 

Ahhhh, have you forgotten Peter Pan? There are no clocks or calanders in eternity - no time passes. Likely your sweet little one has said  "I'll be back in a moment. Mom" - as did Peter (well, he said it to Wendy, but you get the idea)- when Peter returned to the nursery "a moment later" he found not Wendy - but her grand-daughter. You have not been forgotten nor is is your sweet baby upset with you - time is just different in eternity.
 
There are no clocks in eternity.
 
Our babies forget us? That will never happen.

LoriDR

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Posts: 2,123
 #7 
Claire,

I had many horrific nightmares after my Piezon died. They came 2 to 3 times a week. I was afraid to sleep.

I went back to a counselor I used to see and asked her about them. She told me it is the brain's natural process of filtering through the experience. She said that it can happen within the first six months to a year. Mine lasted for a few months, and then they slowly tapered off. I started having a couple a month, and then only once in a great while. Now, I can't remember the last time I had one (16 months later).

I also think that because your loss was such a tragic shock, it's more likely for you to have nightmares. I know how difficult they are to have, but I do think they will eventually ease up as time goes on. Hang in there.

Hugs of comfort,
Lori

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