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Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
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Posts: 6
On Wednesday the 10th of April I had to make the heart breaking decision to let go of my beloved boxer Bella.
For the last 12 months Bella has had a brain tumour which saw her muscles on one side of her head waste away, she was first diagnosed with vertigo, due to leaning on walls etc.
over the last month or two she had declined and was then diagnosed with an esophagus disease which saw her unable to keep down meals. I tried in one last ditch effort medication to try and help. Small mushy meals all throughout the day.
She spent last weekend (4 days) unable to keep food down, collapsed in the backyard once.
I took her to the vets first thing Monday morning where they told me there was nothing medically they could do for her anymore.
And I had to make the most painful decision.
She’s been with me for 9 years, always by my side. She spent every night sleeping on my feet keeping me safe while my then boyfriend who is now my husband, did shift work.
Through the loss of my Nana, the late night feeds and sleepless night with 2 children. Just 6 months ago the loss of my Dad.
I couldn’t of asked for a better mate.
She was so gentle with the kids, so loving and so protective of us all.
To say my heart is broken would be an understatement, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this sad. I spend the days and nights crying. Our home and family feels so empty. I can’t move her things, that’s just to real that she’s not here.
It makes me smile seeing her drool on the carpet next to my side of the bed where her little nose would wake me in the morning.
I also worry for her, if she’s safe, if she’s happy. And if I’ll get to meet her again.
She was this beautiful constant in this ever changing world.
They say the greater the love, the greater the grief but this is so overwhelming x

Posts: 167
These early days of grieving are going to be very rough. There's not much to be done except just go through it as best as you can. I was also overwhelmed by the tsunami of grief that followed the loss of my cat Karma, and am still not through it yet 16 months later.

Poor Bella's last days were pretty tough. It must have been tragic for you to witness her terrible decline. But you really made heroic efforts to try to save her until it was not possible to continue. Of that you should be proud...

Posts: 6
Thanks karmacat,
I guess it’s all in waves hey, sometimes my head tells me I made the right decision for her, my heart always tells me to was to soon. I think it will be forever to soon as they just don’t live long enough.
I can understand that 16 months later it’s still hard.
They have such a big piece of our hearts, and are lives are forever shifted.
Thank you for your kind words and response, it means so much to know I’m not alone, we’re all not alone x
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