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Shartlich

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Posts: 3
 #1 
I found this group by looking up poems for my buds spending his first Christmas with Jesus this year. We got Buddy when he was five months old. He was a little naughty at times, but he was loved. I have so many memories of him and he was always there. He watched me bring my first boyfriend home in high school, graduation day, bringing my now husband home to meet the parents, my wedding day, my stepson graduating high school, he was there. I miss him more then words can express. No one understands the pain I'm in. I had someone tell me that you should be done grieving after two weeks. I'm sorry, buds was much more than just a dog to me. He was like my son, my best friend, best co piolet and had an amazing relationship with my husband. We both miss him terribly. The first snowfall was the hardest. He rolled around in it like he was a puppy. He loved the snow! Then he'd come inside and sleep under the tree. We lost our beloved boy in July. He died in my arms peacefully and his pain ended. It's just hard to imagine my Buds not being around Christmas Day and chewing on a bone or new treats! If you are struggling like me this holiday season, please know I'm thinking of you. Happy Holidays everyone and Merry Christmas to my Buds and to all the pets spending Christmas in heaven this year!
Partial2Hounds

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Posts: 279
 #2 
Hi Shartlich,

We are going to be spending our first Christmas in 15 years without our beloved old beagle boy Tiger, so I am feeling your pain! He just passed away two days ago and it already feels like a giant hole is looming in our lives. It's the little things that you notice when they are no longer around, like I went onto the back porch and saw his food bowl and just lost it! ;-( Tiger had long legs for a beagle so I made him a special bowl by gluing it to an old cinder block. He ate at this bowl for 15 years. And now it's basically a relic. That hits me like a ton of bricks. It's SUDDENLY a relic. The immediacy of the change following a death is just heartbreaking.

Don't listen to any fool who tries to get you to qualify or quantify your grief. It's a process for everyone and everyone experiences it differently. I am having a different reaction to Tiger's death than I had to my other two dogs, or to any other dogs I had growing up. If it takes you longer for Buddy then so be it! He sounds like a great dog who deserved to be remembered with love! You are lucky too to have your husband to share your grief with. I am very lucky that I have mine. He has been very supportive. And for those who don't have anyone or need someone else to talk to, this board is a great resource.

Our Tiger would have been 15-1/2 on December 15. We are going to celebrate his birthday in some way as though he were here. Maybe you could do something to honor Buddy, like spend some time with a volunteer group or donate to an animal rescue in your area? It always makes me feel better to be proactive. Anyway, just a suggestion.

I wish you and yours the peace and blessings of the holiday season. I hope our Tiger and your Buddy meet over the bridge. They sound like cool guys who might like to hang out and chase bunnies together! Tiger liked snow too, although we rarely get it.


Regards,
Partial2Hounds
ak9986

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Posts: 8
 #3 

Like both of you, I will also be spending my first Christmas this year without my beloved dog, Ladd (Irish Setter).  He passed 10 months ago at the age of 13 due to late-stage DCM.  My heart has been shattered since he left and although I no longer cry as often, there’s a raw, empty place in my soul that he filled while he was here.  My family adopted him as a puppy during my junior year of high school because I was struggling with anxiety and depression and had been begging for a puppy ever since my childhood dog had passed a few years prior.  Ladd and I developed a very special bond and he was the dearest thing in the world to me.  He loved and supported me and made me feel joy and comfort when little else could. 

I seemed to be managing okay with the whole first Christmas thing without him being here until this weekend.  It’s the weekend when we usually choose a holiday tree but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I usually love to select the family Christmas tree but this year, it just brought me stress and sadness.  I ended up getting a small (3.5’) tree that I happened across while getting groceries and am planning to decorate it and place it outside near Ladd’s grave to recognize and honor him.  I’ve asked other family members to figure out what to do for a tree for our house this year, since I’m just not feeling it and trying to force myself to do it is only making my depression worse.  Just the thought of getting all the ornaments (including a clay paw print we made one year) and stockings out and seeing Ladd’s without having him here is enough to make me just want to fall apart and break down in tears.  It pains me to such a deep level that I can’t fully explain it.  

One of my favorite memories of Ladd was each Christmas morning when I would tell him that Santa came and hand him his stocking.  He would then grab one gift at a time out of his stocking, and bite and paw at the paper until he had uncovered the toy inside.  Strangely, wrapping paper was one of the few types of paper he didn’t eat (lol) and it was cute to see him chew at the gift to unwrap it and then shake his head and spit out the paper.  He was a great gift opener and I will miss watching him with his stocking this year.  He even helped our other dog open his gifts (our other dog is so happy just to have a present that he will wag his tail and carry it around unwrapped).  I am grateful that my boyfriend took a video with his phone of Ladd opening his stocking one year so although he won’t be here for any future Christmases, I will always have that video to watch.

It’s also hard for me to watch the snowfall and not be able to take Ladd outside with our other dog to play in it.  We got a blizzard last winter with record-breaking snowfall only a month after Ladd passed and it hurt me so much that he wasn’t here to experience it with us.  He always loved the snow too and I remember when he was a small puppy hopping through our footprints in the snow while wearing his glow-in-the-dark puppy color I had gotten for him. 

My thoughts and prayers are with everyone struggling with missing their pets this Christmas.  May they all be happy, healthy and at peace as they experience their first Christmas in Heaven and may we somehow find comfort and peace.  

cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 580
 #4 
I agree with all of you. I to found it really hard with the first snow fall. I always had to shovel paths For Termy and his sister Darla when it snowed a lot. Both being under 13" high. I shoveled this weekend paths for Darla and sadly just looking down the path and not seeing Termy's marking the sides put me into a crying jag.I hope that Ladd, Tiger, Buddy and Termy all have a wonder time at the Bridge together. Just for a second maybe they'll stop and look down and send us love knowing we still hurt on Christmas eve. I wish you all the best and hopefully in time we can look back and smile when we remember.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
Shartlich

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #5 
Thanks everyone! It's great knowing that we have a great support system. I hope our beloved doggies are together.
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