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Mother_of_gliders1

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Posts: 15
 #1 
On March 22 I made the heart breaking decision to have my Beautiful sugar glider Barney put to sleep. I'm still not sure I made the right decision. Two weeks earlier he had suddenly developed a swelling below his eye. He saw the vet several times over the next two weeks. Antibiotics, drained the swelling, eye ointment. He had to have his eye removed, necrotic tissue around and behind his eye. Before the surgery my vet asked if I was sure, Barneys liver was enlarged he might not survive. I told him to try. Barney survived the surgery, but the next day was showing signs of the beginnings of jaundice, he had lost significant weight in several weeks. He would have been 12 in June. I had hand raised him when his mom had no milk. My friends and coworkers just don't understand how much this hurts. They keep saying things like. "Don't beat yourself up" "hindsight is 20x20" He was still cuddling and running around, maybe I should have given him more time to recover, I'll never know. But I will always love him.
Mother_of_gliders1

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Posts: 15
 #2 
I've always read that the life expectancy for a sugar glider was 12-15 years. Just read one from a long time sugar mom, she said it was 10. If that's the case, then my Beautiful Barney Bear was an old man indeed. I never will think of him as old, I'll always think of him as this tiny Joey with ears I never thought he would grow into. I'll always remember feeding him with a syringe every 3 hours, so worried because he was so helpless and dependant. The one that liked to snuggle inside my collar, put both front paws on my chin and give me tickling little kisses. I have to be strong for his prior companion, she has been lonely. I finally decided it wasn't good for her. I found a male that was also alone and lonely. Hopefully they will be a comfort to each other and eventually myself, though I think it will be longer for me. Barney wasn't a pet to me, he was more like a son. I inscribed on his casket exactly how I felt about him. "Light of my life. Son of my heart. Wait for me over the rainbow bridge. Love always, Mommy"
Mother_of_gliders1

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Posts: 15
 #3 
It's done nothing but rain here since I buried my little boy Easter day. It's like mother nature is crying along with me. I'm trying g to keep busy, but middle of the night and early morning is the worst. Coming here helps. Reading others posts, knowing there are others out there that love their little ones. That don't see them as "just a pet". Because they aren't "just" They are loving, accepting they bring out the best in us. I want to be the person my pets think I am, they accept and love me no matter what.
Chapps1

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Posts: 4
 #4 
Hi Mother_of_gliders1

I am truly  sorry for the loss of your baby.

I too am suffering with the loss of my Kitty Katt and no one around me (not even my family) seems to understand the severity of my loss and i do not think i could properly grieve without having to put on a fake smile or appearance. I am lucky to have found this site to meet and read and feel what other devoted pet parents are going through and to know that i am not alone and can really relate to people who see the animals in their lives not as just pets or animals but more as children or family members. 

I also had to make the terrible decision to put my baby down and it was definitely the hardest decision i have ever had to make in my life and i hate myself for being responsible for his death. Being that so dependent on you since he was a baby, the bond between the two of you must have been really strong which im sure would be hard for many people to understand. 

I am very sorry for your loss and i wish that i could say that it gets better but it has not gotten any better for me yet. I have never loved or shared a bond with any animal as i did with my Kitty Katt and I think that this is a life event that you know you will never be the same person again. 

I wish you well. 
Mother_of_gliders1

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Posts: 15
 #5 
My darling Barney,
Today would have been your twelfth birthday. I'm crying so much. I doubt my decision to have you put to sleep. What if I'd had an e collar put on and hand fed you? Were you in pain? Was you enlarged liver from the meds? The avocado I'd let you have, in hopes to get some calories into you? I'll never know the answer to any of these questions. I only know that I miss you so much. I can only pray you are at peace and can forgive me, for my mistakes. I know I can't find it in me to forgive myself, at least not today, the hardest day, what was once my happiest day. The day you came into my life, 10 days later when you opened your eyes for the first time. Two weeks after that your glider mom had no milk, you tried to nurse but she didn't hurt you. She gratefully let me feed you. But even when full, you tried to nurse, so again she moved away from you. I carried you in my shirt to keep you warm. I worried so much about you, loved you like no other I've ever given a home to. I will miss you forever. I hope someday I will see you again, and I can be a better mom to you over the rainbow bridge.

KatKat

Registered:
Posts: 158
 #6 
I'm sorry for your loss and pain.  In their desire to provide comfort friends and family often verbalize things such as what you have experienced.  It's not the most therapeutic way to address the situation but their hearts are in the right place.  It's obvious you loved your sweet Barney and your commitment to hand raising him further defines the depth of your love.  Euthanasia is not an easy decision and it is normal to second guess the decision as part of the grieving process.  Our pets are like our children and we want to love and protect them.  You did the best that you could, please hold onto that.  You were a good mom.  Please continue to reach out to this site.  Your grief is recognized, respected and understood.  My thoughts are with you.  
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