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kyra_Papikos

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Posts: 2
 #1 
Bono,my doberman , my best friend, my soulmate , my boy, my everything.
I met Bono 4 and a half years ago and it was love at first sight. Those almond shaped eyes , those devils ears.. my god i felt in love with his cutness. He was so powerfull always protecting me always by my side. 
Why did i let cancer take my baby? When this sadness will go away?
It;s one week now that i had to put him to sleep and the pain is everyday the same. My house is empty, my soul is crying.

Bono was so strong, everyone was looking at him and admiring on how friendly he was, how strong and how protective.
I miss my buddy, i wake up everyday and i think that its a bad dream. That he might be out in the yard and will run and jump at the sofa.
 
Cancer was spread all over his kidneys and lumps. He was full with cancer but didnt show me a sign. I fell so guilty that my baby was sick and i couldnt help him.
How did i let this happen to him? I was supposed to protect him as he did...but i ended up puting him to sleep.
I lost my baby in three days. Why? Why animal souls should suffer from cancer?

Bono one month now had a cut at his leg,he was always running like crazy at the beach, so we did some stiches at the wound and we were going to the vet 2 times per week to check it and change the bandages. He was always licking it so in order to protect the wound we had to put bandages.
On Monday Bono suddenly lost his appetite, so i called the vet and he said that he might got stressed from the wound. It sound strange to me as it was long time ago that we did the stiches, so i cooked him some rice and meat to convice him to eat. On Wednesday i saw a small lipoma at his chest. I called the doctor and we went there so he could change the bandages (for the last time, as the wound was almost healled ) and check the lipoma. 
He check the lipoma he said that its too small and that its probably nothing so he advice me to take some blood and do some tests.
Bono stayed there as he had to take some fluids as his kidney wasnt working properly. My heart was starting to cry from the moment that the doctor said that his kidney has problem. i was so afraid. We did tests, xrays everything and there was it. My beautiful fearless boy was full with cancer. It was friday, Bono was getting worse, he was in pain. My baby was in pain and i couldnt help him 
How this thing happened, i mean he had cancer and no one show it. The doctor said that the cancer was really aggresive and even if we started the chemiotherapy it will only give him some extra days. No. i couldnt do this to my baby. I saw it in his eyes, i had to say goodbye. i stayed till the end. It was one of our many special moments. I sang our song and i hold him. 
Everyone tells me that i should stop griefing , as it was just a dog. How they can say such a thing? Bono was my everything, i have another dog also,Lalo is his name, he 16 years old around 7 kg mix poodle, i love him , i grow up with him, his my little tedy bear . I cannot compare the two dogs. Its like comparing two different friends. I love Lalo for what he is not because i want him to take Bono's place. 

I love Lalo i always will, but this doesnt mean that i can forget my doberman. 
He was my once in a lifetime. I want to visit the doctor one of this days and pay him for the procedure , i tried to go today but i couldnt. The moment i parked my car outside i felt so angry and lost. I have to do it one of this days, i have to face the truth. 

When does this pain goes away? please dont tell me to get another dog, i dont want to and i will  never get another dog never again. 

I miss you Bono, with all my heart. You are my velcro dog. I love you. 







LyndaN

Registered:
Posts: 333
 #2 
Dobermans are very special and intelligent dogs, aren't they? I have not owned one, but my friend has always had dobermans and I learned to appreciate them.  They certainly loved and appreciated me, begging for love and attention. 

Our pups are so good at hiding their pain and illness, even the veterinarians don't always pick up on their disease.  I hope you don't blame yourself for long for this cancer.  You had know way of knowing and it sounds to me like you did everything you could to care for his health. 

I just had my dog put down a few days ago and know the pain that tears at your heart, even when it is clearly the right thing to do.  It is physically painful to come home and they are not there.  To throw away their unused medicine, wash their bedding they won't sleep on any more, etc.  Memories of their last moments and hearing their last breath. It hurts even when they live to ripe old age. 

I wish you peace and comfort in your loss,
Lynda

kyra_Papikos

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #3 
Dear Linda,

Thank you for your message.

Its sad that all this wonderfull souls are now gone away. Its hard to understand the reason.
I am sure that our loves will be always by our side. I would love to meet my dobie again.

I miss him every  single day.

Today i went back to the vet to donate some new toys and Bono;s food . It was heartbreaking. The last week they jad to put to sleep 3 more dogs because of cancer. 

I am so pissed of, why..why my baby left so early. he was strong, i will keep his strength and i will have it inside me. he change my world, he made me happy . 

I am so sorry for your lost, its the hardest felling to put your baby to sleep. I know it.It will never end, its really hard decision but our babies shouldnt suffer . They were lucky to have us in their lifes. But we were more lucky that we met. The last 4 years Bono helped me a lot to overcome some problems. He was there when i broke up, there when i had to stay in bed for 6 months due to health problems. Now i fell alone, my day has changed a lot. 
i am just trying to focus on the good days. I watch some videos of him doing his crazy staff oh god i wish i could have him here with me, stealing his treats and hiding them at his bed. So much fun, so many wonderfull memories.

My worst fear is that i might forget him. i mean his energy the way he made e feel. I lost my father when i was 16 years old, i fell exactly the same pain. But i know, they are together now, Bono will take care of him , my dad will play with him and one day we will all meet and laugh...
Always in our heart, always by our side. 

Love,
Kyra
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