Registered: 1587668142 Posts: 1
I'm new here. I had 2 beautiful cats one is 8 years old calico Candy and one is 5 years old black cat Chip. We got Candy from craigslist when she was 3 and we got Chip when he was a tiny little kitten. We actually had to feed Chip some kitten formula, that's how little he was. We've had our cats for 5 years. During that time we had our first kid. Within the last year our cats (especially Candy) needed medical attention and we were struggling with money so we couldnt take them to a vet. We used dr google and tried helping them with whatever we could find in a pet store. We started considering rehoming them but we hated that idea. Then we got pregnant again, this time around my pregnancy has several complications and our first kid suddenly developed severe eczema and seasonal allergies and so I had to constantly clean the house. I'm talking about steam cleaning at least every month, bleaching stuff WHILE being on semi bed rest. Our cat Candy has digestive issues which we never addressed because again, we couldnt afford it and recently she started throwing up more so again, i had to steam clean carpets and bleach everything. I kept thinking about rehoming our cats and 2 days ago I reached the point when I realized I just need to rehome them. No clue how and when but cats got fleas. They are indoor cats and we live in a small apartment so I dont know how it's possible. Anyways, my husband works long hours to support our growing family and here I am in my 3rd trimester home with a toddler and 2 cats who throw up and now have fleas. I know fleas are not the end of the world but I just couldnt keep up with flea bombing the house and treating cats, etc. So we made a heartbreaking decision to surrender our cats to a local (amazing) shelter. I'm relieved knowing that I dont have to constantly clean anymore but my heart is breaking. There is no excuse for surrendering my cats and I'm so mad at myself and guilty. Most of all I'm heartbroken over Chip because we are the only humans he ever knew, we are the only humans he wasnt afraid of, we are the only humans he ever trusted and we surrendered him. Dont get me wrong I feel sad for Candy too but she is SUPER friendly and she bonds with people very fast but Chip is very shy and he gets stressed easily and I know he must be so depressed right now. I dont know if he ever forgives me. I dont know if I ever forgive myself. I know I had good reasons to surrender them, I'm happy they finally had a chance to see a vet who I'm sure will help them, I know I will have a much calmer rest of the pregnancy and can finally rest a little bit and not worry about cat hair, cat throw up and fleas BUT all those reasons dont help me not to feel guilty and extremely heartbroken. I just want my cats to be happy and have a family who can provide them with vet care whenever they need it and who will love them as much as we did. Thank you for reading this long post. My thoughts and emotions are all over the place and I guess I just wanted someone to hear me out. Those who ever surrendered pets, does it get better? Does this unbearable pain of betraying your pets ever go away?