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Posts: 1,093

I have a MAC also, and although I haven't had any trouble logging into the chatroom, I do notice that everything is much smoother and faster when I use FireFox instead of Safari, as the browser. I think most MACs come with Safari already downloaded -- does yours? If so, you may want to look at the Firefox website and download it. It's free and it works beautifully for me.

Just a thought -- I hope it works for you.

Big hugs,



Posts: 555
Hi everyone,
I am going to address a few things you said because they need clearing up although I felt they were clear when stated.
"If I am right about this thread then it seems that some people think that our sole purpose is to help "new" people with their losses. Here is the problem I see with that. If we stop all silliness and general talk which I consider part of the healing process then we have the following choices available to us:

     1. We can sit quietly waiting for a new loss or for someone who needs help only with grieving of a loss of a pet.

     2.  We can talk only about our losses among ourselves until someone shows up needing our help.

     3.  We can talk only constantly about our personal loss.

If this happens then I believe Pet Loss will cease to exist. It is the friendships that have taken place that keeps this site a living testament to each of our losses."

No one suggested  talking about loss and grief exclusively.
Laughter and talking of off topic things can be healing in the right situation when no one in the room is crying their eyes out and might be made to feel they are the one who doesn't belong in the room because they just are to sad to join in.
Even worse they may feel their grief doesn't matter or that they are being ignored.
What was stated is  that when a new person comes into the room or someone who has a recent loss or when someone says they are having a really bad time and needs help then that is when the silly things that could upset or offend someone in tears needs to stop and the room needs to focus on helping those people.
This is what EdW has stated many times and advocates.
Obviously doing that has not caused the chat room  to cease to exist as it has existed for many years by doing this and it will continue to exist for many more.
As far as the wolves are concerned there will be those who take their duty and pledge more seriously then others in any group and the wolves too have existed for many years also and will continue to help people with hurting hearts as they pledged.
Having said this I think this post was a good idea and has been answered well by many who have the experience to answer it and I hope those answers helped any who have a problem with the room being busy and moving to fast.
As AbbeyWolf stated  most wisely in her post.
"Let us be more careful and aware of others in chat, and give everyone support when needed."

Maybe it's time now to just focus on helping others in the chat room and on the message board..
May all find comfort and healing.
Love and Peace,

Posts: 77

Can someone tell me how to get into the chat room? I log on and the message says basically to keep this window open and wait....but nothing ever happens. What am I supposed to be seeing on my computer screen besides the message to please keep the window open? Thanks very much


Posts: 1,821

sometimes you have to click on the larger box under the smaller box with user names in it (if you put your cursor on the box it will give you a message to "click to activate" if you need to)  ~  also - you must have java loaded on your computer. If java is loaded and, if needed, you have clicked on the box to activate you will get (in the top left corner):

User Name:[a blank box] [Connect]

type your user name in the blank box then click on the "Connect" button.

sometimes there is a conflict with the parachat java and a computer's other programs and i am not sure how you resolve that (i have that problem - still trying to fix it)  -  some IP addresses are blocked because of troll problems (if you run into this contact EdW and he may be able to help) - and AOL dialup was at one point blocked (not sure where that stands at present).

to the general flow on this thread

Wolves are people who have also lost a beloved pet(s) ~ we also at times feel those same waves of deep sorrow, and like any of us here, sometimes a loss that is not so new can crash down, and we may also experience new losses. We took a pledge to help others here at Some of us are like others here at the site - very comfortable in a chat and help there, some like me find chat a bit overwhelming and help on the boards as time allows (i currently work outside my home as i do have to be able to pay vet bills, buy food, and keep shelter for my furbabies - and maintain a livable home), or help by providing other support (IM, e-mail, memorials) which i also do. Helping takes many forms and they are all equally important.


Posts: 201

  Please don't take what I said out of context.  I thought I was pretty clear
  that I firmly believe that "ALL" need to pay attention when someone  
  needs our help.

  I was trying to make clear the point that some people believe we 
  should "only" discuss our losses and you know as well as I do that that  
  cannot happen.  After all the wolves who are here have certainly
  developed a kinship from having been in chat and many befriend so
  many others. 

  When one has been helped or has helped another it is nice to know
  something about them.  The number one question asked is "where are
  you from".  In my case I'm one of the lucky ones in that I have met
  Huskydogzz in person. 

  My only point was to support the reason chat exist, but also to make
  a resonable request that people understand why we do get off subject.


Posts: 2
My story was so inspiring and  true , I KNOW shes somewhere more beautiful than the living can have the compasity to see here.

My dream was our final chat and she said she was happy, youthful and healthy.

I NEVER woke up with grief again. I was lucky tohave a miracle like that, and keep talking to them, until they can find a way to show you too. They are always there, no matter what ppl think. I saw her in heaven. she will be forever in bliss, waiting for us and pleasing us so ask EVERY night and you will get an answer. Dogs are loyal


Posts: 153
My thoughts on our chat room..

I lost my love on Dec.19th 2005, and I still and always will miss her and I still grieve over losing her.   The only difference is that she is now gone over two years.  So everyday is a day that may be easier, but each day I just miss her so.  There are so many different people who come into PL needing help.  And some are new...some have been around awhile...and some who haven't been there for awhile always stop in for comfort on a special day or anniversary.  I met and made many wonderful friends there.  Everytime I logged into chat..I knew there would always be someone needing help and comfort.  What difference does it make if that someone has a new loss or still dealing with a past loss??  I will talk to as many as I can...but I will not stop helping someone because a new loss has arrived.  I have been in chat when some just go in to meet and talk and laugh.  It never bothered me...there is always someone to talk to..and it is our choice to give comfort to whoever we choose to talk to.  I have been in in chat when everyone was relaxing and "yes" we made those silly emotion signs...and we did welcome every new loss and we talked to them...and we still had a fun time...I cannot remember how many new losses came in...and we all had that person smiling through her or his tears.  Each meeting in chat room has it's own direction.  Petloss chat has helped me so much...and I found comfort and love.  Myself...there were times when I would leave chat..angry.  BUT...I always came anger and emotions are mine to deal with and if anyone thinks that what I say is improper I do apologize.  But there are personalities that just clash...that is the history of chat rooms.   Petloss is all about grief, healing, comfort, and never a time we should be told to "move on" or "deal with it".   I just wanted to say how much more Petloss is, than just a room for new losses.

My time there was always about Puff...she sent me there and I never did or said anything that would make her sad.  Always is all about a loss or a sick furkid. 

Suzanne sweet girl

Posts: 90
I'm so very sorry to read/hear that someone was ignored, etc., in the room.  The chat-room as many of you know means the world to me - it saved/s me.  I try to visit as much as I possibly can to help others as I was helped when I first lost my boy Kato.  Petloss chat room was my very first chat-room and I had no clue what I was doing - I didn't know brb, ty, yvvw, ((())), etc. absolutely nothing.  I shall never ever forget my first visit, how I was feeling, and how blessed I felt that Ed made such a room and such a web-site for all of us to share. 

I now come to the chat-room for over 3 years almost every single day and have seen quite a few different things happen. We are all guilty of one thing or another (we're human) and Basil I think this is a wonderful post to remind all of us.  I will admit that sometimes I get distracted by puppers throwing frisbees/balls in my lap/face/etc., but I do my very best to live up to my wolf pledge and be there as often as I can for everyone I can.    

Many of you, from reading the post responses seem to think we shouldn't speak of anything else - honestly it's not possible.  Sometimes, we do need to laugh - I shall never forget a big funny that was made when I first came to the chat-room and it was the very first time I smiled and actually laughed out loud in many days - I didn't feel ignored, not cared about - I felt fortunate that I remembered how to smile and I remember thinking how good it felt to smile again.  Actually, I do recall thanking this person for helping me to smile again. 

Many times while in chat, I sit with you and cry and cry and cry.  I personally do not like to see people hurting so nor our babies suffering, sick, passed etc.  Your loss is our loss  - we are family - whether you are new or old - a first-timer or an old-timer, a new loss, an old loss - a loss is a loss and we all have good and bad days and we are here for each other.  After these tears - we need to smile!  if not, many of us would not survive and I believe it's important to have people from all stages of grief/loss - it truly does give many of us hope - that's it's going to be ok.  As humans, we need that hope or why bother?

Hold our paws - we are here for you!  I shall never ever forget these words that were spoken to me or these same words I say now and I mean it from the very bottom of my heart.

Honestly, if you need help - if you are having a rough time,  please do say so and I promise if I am there I shall do my very best. Please don't be shy - it's so very hard that we cannot see each other physically. There are wonderful people in this room and it truly does help so very much to be with others who understand. 

Michael I'm so very sorry if I was there and didn't listen I truly do apologize - you are a wonderful person and I would never ever do anything to hurt you or anyone. 

Love yas xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxox.......................



Posts: 48
That was such a wonderful and thoughtful post. You summed it all up and said it all. You and all the wolves have been wonderful to me and have gotten me to at least a point of stability. I don't know what I would have done if you all hadn't come into my life. Thank you Kato for writing that response and for being you! Your friend,
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