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AaronDogg33

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Posts: 49
 #1 
I told myself after I lost my beloved Tigger 10 years ago I would never get attached again, well it did happen. My beloved Pug Chompers died unexpectedly Tuesday evening. The hard part for me is not knowing what happened to him. He started itching a lot Monday evening to the point he created sores and just couldn't settle down. I took him to the vet first thing Tuesday and she gave him some medicine to hopefully stop the itching. It seemed like he got worse as the day went out. I called the vet back because he continued to itch and was panting heavily, and was just so restless I got concerned and called the vet back. She advised to give him another dose which i did and had to force it in him which i now feel bad. She advised if if it continued to take him to the emergency vet. I didn't wait my gut was telling me something wasn't right. The emergency vet was about 45 minutes away, and on the drive it looked like he had settled down he was sleeping which i still knew wasnt good because he loved to ride and would always want to sit up on the arm rest and look out the window, but i figured he was just drained from not sleeping and all the scratching. As we got to the emergency vet I had all i could do get him out of the car. I thought he was just exhausted. I got him inside and they immediately took him out back and put an IV in him and the doctor told me his gums were very white. 2 minutes later they told me he went into cardiac arrest and my life would never be the same. He was able to revive him for about 10 minutes and he breathed on his own, but again went into cardiac arrest, and i lost him. My heart absolutely broke because this all happened in 24 hour span. The scary part is the vert couldnt determine the cause. Addison's disease was what he was leaning toward. Chompers had a history of urinary Trac infections, but it remained inclusive. His heart, lungs were fine. His potassium was very high over 300. Im at a loss for words how this happened. Just 3 days prior we had a fun day. I took him for a ride and we took some selfies together. I honestly blame myself i should have got him in monday but i didnt think the scratching would be life threatening. All i know is my best friend is gone, and  my house isnt the same. The bones he used to chew are all over the floor. The fox i got him we played tug of war with is still by the door. The part that really kills is night time. He would always cuddle on the couch with me, and at night cuddle as close as he could in the bed. He would always wake me up with good morning kisses and a little snort. My heart is just broken. He was my rock, my constant good thing in my life. He was always there for me through the tough times. He would go out of his way to make me smile. The one time he needed me I let him down. i feel this could have been prevented and that's something I have to live with...im so sorry chompers....i wish i did better.
Always__there

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Posts: 123
 #2 
Hello AD,
I am deeply sorry by the loss of Your beloved Chompers. I could go on and on here, having laid my wee chihuahua to rest, 1 mo ago, age 16y. I do know the profound heartache, emptiness and deep anguish of Sorrow you feel. No denying the pain felt, a 24/7 mental torment !!!. These may be words to You at this moment, but, my Vet informs me that pets live in the moment and the care and attention given to Chompers, taking selfies with and having a great time, he was living Life Large and all done with You !. Animals know when they are Loved and Your Chompers and my Perry knew full well that they were Top Dogs. That is comforting to know. Like Chompers, my wee man WAS my WORLD. From 3 months to 16y, he was my Constant true Friend. I miss him more than words can express.
I find my wee mans attachments very comforting, his stuffed pig for instance, an inanimate object he used to stare at for hours has become monumental in my waking hours, his photos, lit candles. Do find Chompers attachments and You too will draw comfort from. Memories become a Memory. They have left Our Lives but not Our Hearts. Again, know that US on the Forum feel your despair. I wish you well.
                                                                                                               Sherry/Perryxx
jeanc

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Posts: 39
 #3 
From what you write it doesn't sound like you could have done anymore as his illness came on so suddenly.  It's painful whether a pet has been ill for a long time or not. 

I too was at the vet's with my cat on Tuesday night to help her transition to the Rainbow Bridge.  She had been ill with kidney problems for about 8 months and on Tuesday morning when I got up I didn't expect that it was her last day with me.  She seemed she was suffering more that morning and in my heart of hearts I knew I had to make that awful decision.  I miss her.  It was hard to take her and hold her but I'm glad I was with her at the end.

The only thing now is to savor in their memories and to remember how much they loved us and how much we loved them.  I hope one day that your heart will be open to another sweetheart that I'm sure will love you with all their heart.  Have courage!

Blessings,
Jean
PoisonIvy

Registered:
Posts: 60
 #4 
I am sorry for your loss.  

I do not think at all that you let down your dog.  It sounds as though you did as much as you could to take good care of him and that you did much more than many people would have done.  

Feeling guilty in this situation is natural but that doesn't mean you actually did anything wrong.  You didn't.
AaronDogg33

Registered:
Posts: 49
 #5 
the hardest part is being in the house alone at night after work. he would always greet me at the door snorting like a pig. I would let him outside, and then he would come in all excited because he knew he would get a treat ( aka cookies as we called them) He would then usually cuddle with me on the couch or grab his fox, and we would play tug of war. He never let me win! Maybe the most hardest part is going to bed and not waking up to those big beautiful brown eyes that would just melt your heart. Unfortunately I have very little family, but have some decent friends and co workers, but not much a support system. He was my rock. It might sound weird but every night wen I left work I couldn't wait to get home and hangout with my bff, and now that's gone just like that.
Purplepug

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #6 
Don’t blame yourself, illnesses come very quick in dogs and in some cases there nothing we can do to help. I recently lost my 5 month old puppy pug due to sudden infection. Print off some photos of him and always keep his memory close to you and don’t push it away. You will soon be at peace with his death. Talk to people about it and don’t bottle up your feeling, don’t be afraid to cry just let all your feeling out. Soon, it might not feel like it, but you will feel happy again.

Best of wishes
Abbie xxx
AaronDogg33

Registered:
Posts: 49
 #7 
It is so hard. I had to go to the store this morning and about lost it when I went by the pet section, and it hit me ill never buy him any treats ( aka cookies) again.

I feel so cheated because i loved my dog. I watch many people including one of my closest friends who cant stand animals yet they still have theirs. I cant function at work. My concentration level is terrible. I just sit and wonder how im going to get past this. It happened so quick.

I get his ashes back tomorrow and that likely will be an emotional roller coaster.
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