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Posts: 1,355

This is weird stuff but maybe some of you can relate.  When my girl Kina died last year, I convinced myself that she died because I went on vacation a couple of weeks before I had to have her PTS.  She was boarded with her brother at the vet's office would had known and cared for her all of her life.  Now, I went on vacation to visit my mom who has Alzheimer's (some vacation huh?) and a week later, I have had to PTS her brother Alex.  I also cut Alex's hair a week before he died and 9 years ago I cut his brother Kodiak's hair just before he died.  So, now I am somehow thinking that going on vacation and cutting my dogs hair causes them to die!!!!  I do know this is crazy thinking and that obviously I cannot control death by vacations/haircuts, but still....I guess I just want to make sense (even crazy sense) out of losing them.  Anybody else do anything like this or am I really crazy??????????     


Posts: 2,285

I'm not thinking like that, but I do know what you mean about trying to make sense out of losing them. Logic tells me that my Mandy had hip dysplaysia and arthritis since puppyhood but made it to 14 yrs 8 mos and that is pretty good considering. Logic tells me at the end she had cancer of the spleen and the end of her life was approaching. Logically I know that when she went, it was her time to go. But in my heart, I just can't understand why she is gone and how could two weeks go by and she is still gone. My brain tells me it makes perfect sense, she lived out her life and came to the end of it. But somehow I still just can't understand and make sense out of it.


Posts: 219

jrinphx:  Magical thinking or just feelings of guilt, you didn't do anything to harm your two fur-children. We always seem to look for reasons--we must have done SOMETHING, right? But that's not the case. I went on a vacation not long before Layla died, even though I knew she was ill (if I'd known her time was that short I might have canceled our cruise but she lived for almost two weeks after we returned) and on a trip prior to that Maggie, who we also knew was on short time, died. My friend stayed here at the house with them and treated them like her own babies--they got good care. She and her husband buried Maggie and had a little service over her grave. I told my husband that maybe we need to take another vacation just so I don't start thinking that going on vacation is somehow harmful to my pets, because I know it's not. If you're worried about the haircuts, get a short-haired one next time, but the only thing a haircut causes is sometimes brief embarrassment to some of them who feel naked. You're okay. You're just thinking of every reason in the world to blame yourself, and you're not to blame. It was their time. We don't control it. I wish we could. Take care of yourself and go somewhere for a long weekend, okay?

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