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MarieGro

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Posts: 4
 #1 
I'm new to this site. I was looking for somewhere to share my grief due to the loss of my dog Cuppy. One week ago Wednesday October 18, 2017 my dog had a seizure. At first she appeared to have died her eyes were open and she was not moving. She was limp and I don't think she was breathing. I gave her CPR and she came back. We rushed her to VERG and they did all sorts of testing. She stayed over night for observation also. All tests came out negative and they weren't sure what had happened to her. On the following Saturday she had another mild seizure and now I knew for sure what was happening to her. The vet prescribed Keppra and another pill for her to take which are seizure medication. Only 3 days after Cuppy had a devastating seizure that lasted more than 15 minutes. Any seizure in dogs lasting more than 5 minuets can cause brain damage. When Cuppy came out of the seizure she tried to get up and fell over. She tried 3 times to get up, but could not. She laid flat on a rug I placed her on. She had urinated and had a bowel movement during the seizure so I took her out of her bed. Liquid was coming out of her mouth like water. Her eyes were closed and she did not respond st all. She was breathing but I knew she was in very bad shape. The seizure had taken her life. We rushed her to the Vet, but I knew she couldn't be helped. My heart broke for my little girl but I could not see her suffer any longer. She was so still I gave her kisses and told her how much I love her and she went to sleep. Cuppy didn't even move she just was very still she was gone before the Vet gave her anything to put her at peace. I'm crying uncontrollably writing this but I know the people on this page understand. I'm leaving her bed that I have in my living room just as it was for now. I'm not ready to get rid of it. I will wash her night time bed and give it to my daughters dog. Cuppy had her hip removed as a puppy because she had a disease. She walked fine for years but now sort of shuffled around on 3 legs. I have arthritis so I would joke that we walked alike. It's only one day that she's gone. The house is not the same. She was like a little child I would care for. Thank you for reading my story.
Guccijazz1973

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Posts: 6
 #2 
I completely understand.I had to put my horse to sleep.7 yrs,ago and I still cry out for him sometimes,and kiss his photo everyday and talk to him.today my little doggie Gucci passed away,after a very short illness,bit like your cuppa.he became totally flat,incontinent,couldn't walk,had emergency surgery but he damage was too bad.my heart is broken,not that it every completely mended after jazz passed.it's too hard....I asked the angels to bring my two boys together in heaven,so jazz can mind little Gucci..and one day zoo,I will be with them both again.next to my parents,I these little souls are the loves of my life....I have no advise really,just sympathizing ....it will get easier,I know from jazz,but I had Gucci then,now I have no one and I'm.lonely.I would have been happy to go with him today,absolutely.
I wish you well,crushed you need to,be alone too,alone with your beautiful memories...xx
MarieGro

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #3 
I'm so sorry for you Guiccijazz. It's strange because I look where my Cuppy slept and expect to see her. For that minute I forget she's gone. I'm leaving one of her beds just where it is. It makes me feel like she is still here. I went through this before with my Muffy. He got ill gradually but it came time to put him at peace also. The love of an animal is so special. They depend on us and I'm gonna miss taking care of my little girl. We understand what this loss is really like. I know Cuppy and Gucci are pain free and wagging their tails in Heaven. God Bless their little souls.
violetta

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Posts: 5
 #4 
Marie,

I don't think there are ever truly words enough to express the depths of anguish that comes with losing a beloved companion. I had to put my own friend of 14 years down just two days ago, and with the shock of loss comes the realization that something that was once such an irreplaceable part of your life is now gone. It's okay to hold onto the bed, or the blankets, or the dishes or toys or whatever it is that reminds you most of your baby. No one here would ever blame you for wanting to keep those things close. 

You gave Cuppy the absolute best life you could, and even in those last moments she knew one thing: your love. Dogs love fully, without condition or hesitation, and when you grow and live with them for so long your love in return becomes the basis of their life. It hurts now, and I know it will hurt for a long time, and the best thing to do right now is to let yourself feel that hurt. Having to see your baby pass in front of you is something viscerally painful and your grief is normal, it is valid, and it is okay to let yourself feel everything you're feeling right now.

Know this: you loved her with everything you had, up until the very end, and she will have passed having known that too. It will always be something you can hold close to your heart. Take all the time you need to mourn, and have heart - you'll see her again, one day, so you can cross the Rainbow Bridge together.

You're in my thoughts, and I'm sending all my love to you.

- vio
MarieGro

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #5 
Violetta

Thank you so much for your kind words. Having to put your own beautiful little friend to sleep, I know you are also in pain. I truly believe in the hereafter and do expect to see all my loved ones when I too pass. I look forward to the day when I cross that Rainbow Bridge and I see my precious little girl Cuppy again.
God Bless
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