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windmillcat

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Posts: 1
 #1 
Hi, this is my first post so I hope I get it right.  I'm worried for my daughter who is 16.  Our very much loved rescue greyhound ran out of the house three months ago, was hit by a car, badly injured and died the next day after not recovering from the anaesthetic the vets used during his amputation operation.  My daughter and her friend were the first at the scene of the accident, she heard him get hit and held him while he was in so much pain.  He spent the night at the vets but she didn't see him again (my sons and I did get to visit and I also had to transport him to a different vet where he could stay the night).  The next day I had to make the call that the vet should stop trying to revive him because my poor boy had had enough.  She blames herself, although it was in no way her fault.  She says that because she didn't move fast enough, her best friend is dead.  She goes over what happened again and again, trying to change it.  She says that she sees no point in anything.  At night she can't sleep because she relives the terror of that moment when she heard the accident.  Sudden noises, and the sound of animals crying, take her back to that panic.  At first I assumed it was natural grief and we cried together and she was encouraged to vocalise her feelings and I reassured her that it was all normal and, although we would always miss our boy, it would get easier.  That has been true for my two younger boys, they both get sad about what happened and we still get tears but they are enjoying life.  My daughter seems stuck.  I have read a bit and it seems to me that she has all the symptoms of PTSD.  What she experienced was pretty horrific and a horrible last memory of our happy, silly, lazy boy and I don't know how to help her.  I hope this is an appropriate post.  Thank you for reading. 
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #2 
First - I am so very sorry for you family's loss. It's never easy.

I think we all play "what if" after a loss - what if I had given him/her a better diet, what if I had a taller fence, what if I had complained about the neighbor's dog running wild more, what if . . . . I think if I were trying to help my child I would start by sharing some of the stories here (look through and pick some where the person is playing what if and it seems clear to all but them that they did their best) and look for a counselor for them - sometimes an outside voice can be better heard. She may also benefit from pulling an online memorial together, selecting appropriate, happy photos and memories, and remembering that although your family's time with your furchild was too short it was longer (and happier) than so many rescue babies get.

I am sending you a private message also.
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