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kenzcookie

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Posts: 10
 #1 
My 5 year bunny quickly developed a respiratory infection and was struggling to breathe. Her right nostril was completely was shut and she was mostly breathing through her mouth (which is not natural for rabbits.) The vet reccomended that she stay over night with oxygen so she could have a chance because if she went home, she would likely pass away through the night. So I decided to let her stay over night at the emergency vet. The next morning (today), they called and said she hasn’t gotten any better and to consider euthanasia. I got there as soon as possible. I kissed her and pet her but she couldn’t be out of the little oxygen box because they said she would turn blue and purple. I decided for euthanasia because it hurt so much to see her suffocate and struggle to breathe. I wasn’t able to sit with her when she passed away because they were releasing air to make her fall asleep and then inject her. Now I’m feeling guilty that her last day wasn’t spent with me, and I’m wondering if she thought I abandoned her. I know if I took her home and she passed away though, that I’d be feeling guilty for not giving it a chance. I miss her so much already. Someone please help.
JoeR

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Posts: 67
 #2 
Thank you for sharing your pain
Emma_Lees_Mom

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Posts: 13
 #3 
Sorry to hear about your bunny kenzcookie. It sounds like you did the right thing by trying to give her a chance. Unfortunately you could not be by her side during that treatment. She was there getting the very best help, remember that. It is tough losing our loved ones. Take care.
Emma Lee's Mom
kenzcookie

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Posts: 10
 #4 
thank you. <3
Fionasmum

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Posts: 730
 #5 
I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved little bunny - and guilt is so quick to add to this misery, as if after years of loving, tender care we've turned into some kind of monsters overnight.

All I know is that love is not geography.  If I go to the store, the love I share with my little dog Daphne goes with me.  Your bunny knew exactly how much she was loved, and there is no way that any distance or time will ever change that fact - and this includes the distance that her loss has now put between you.

You did the right thing - the ONLY thing you could have done for her - allowing her health and the possibility of hope to take the place of any decisions you might have made that could have compromised the care she needed.  You did not cause her death.  It was the disease or illness and any and all responsibility should be placed directly there.  Believing this does not, and can never, make her loss any less profound and sad, but the love you feel for her transcends her death, and it can never be taken from you again.  

Do not, ever, beat yourself up about not being there when she died because you were there when she LIVED, and you made her life everything it was and everything worth remembering - because it was always about the love you shared together.  I do not grieve for her, for she lived with a very special human being and she is now free from the pain and fear her illness might have caused.  But my heart breaks for you as you struggle to make sense of this sudden, and devastating change, in your life.  But do not imagine guilt deserves a thought in your soul - it belongs in the gutter, as it has no place alongside the love, the warmth, and the light of her life.     
kenzcookie

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #6 
@Fionasmum thank you so much for taking your time to write this. your kind words really make me think. I gave her the best that i could and i know she loves me. i can’t let those thoughts get to my head. i just want to be proud of my bun and happy that i spent those years with her. thank you
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